Are clams really happy???

Are clams really happy???

Is linguine happy?

No, of course not. They are in miserable, excruciating pain every day of their short lives. You could hear them scream except their voices are far out of our hearing range.

Eating them does them a favor, really. Seabirds are their gods because they relieve them of this horrid mortal coil.

Any questions?


They live in the mud, they eat fish shit, and it takes a year to move a frakkin’ inch.

Why wouldn’t they be happy?

they are, but not as happy as Larry.

Pssst. Larry’s a clam.

Moved from General Questions to Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share.

General Questions Moderator

Nahh - he just doesn’t talk very much.

Happy as a mud lark, and nearly as cute as a bug.

But is he a pig in shit?

I’m sure as bivalves go clam are pretty happy, unless a starfish happens by.

They never complain.

I know of a particular type of clam that makes ME happy.

Quick! Somebody make a dirty joke.

According to a study conducted by SIMU*, the percentage of clams that require anti-depressant medication is vanishingly small.

*shit I made up

Quahog? Littleneck? Cherrystone ? Pismo ? Butter? Longneck? Manila? Razor? Geoduck? East Coast hard-shell? Mahogany? Surf? Hokkigai? Pacific littleneck? Venus? Soft shelled? Steamer? Ipswitch? Ark? Nut? Trough? File? Giant? Peppery Furrow shell?

Hmm. Maybe a giant clam would make him happy.

However, Prozac, Luvox, and Paxil all increase reproductive activity in clams. Sounds like happiness to me.

Who me? hey am always happy… and if am not smiling on the outside then for sure am smiling on the inside :slight_smile:

now if we talking bearded clams…