We must meet up at a dopefest one of these days. That’s not amazonian, that’s just the right height!
And to the OP, there’s a great deal of difference between being beautiful and being attractive: an attractive woman is axiomatically beautiful, but the converse does not hold. The difference is usually apparent when she starts to speak. As long as all the right bits are there in roughly the right proportions, I’m more interested in the woman inside than the outer shell.
Q - “Do you smoke after making love?”
A - “I don’t know, I’ve never looked…”
For me sign me up for shallow I’m afraid.
It mostly as I am 6’1" and only 165 lbs so have tended to date girls who are not too “chunky”. Physically unmatched couples just look a bit odd IMHO and it don’t tend to improve things in the sack. Personally I do not find overly thin girls any more attractive than overly chunky one - curves are good - nobody wants to shag a bag of skin and bones…
And, if after all the above cheering from all the above males (include me, BTW!) does not give you a clue, go to a professional photographer and have him/her do some glamour shots of you. I’d guess that 95% or more of the women you see every day would look as good or better than what you see in the magazines if they had as much assistance as the Woman in the Picture™. Besides, glam shots make a nice gift for your BF.
A lot of women could benefit from learning how to see themselves in the mirror the way men see themselves: “Hmmmm… Well, I could stand to lose about 30 pounds, the hair’s definitely thinning, and I’m just not as young as I used to be, but MAN I’ve still got it!” If your self-description is remotely accurate, you’ve got it. Just learn to see it in the mirror.
The key concept we all need to remember is proportion. Whether you are over or under weight, you are, all things being equal, okay so long as you are proportional. I can’t speak for all guys, but this seems to be the determining factor a lot of the time. We all look for the hourglass figure- whether it is on a 90 lb or 180 lb woman is really not the issue.
The biggest issue I have with ‘fat chicks’ is the same one I have with skinny ones- to me, a woman has to look like one for me to be attracted. That means hips, breasts, butt, the works. If you are either a stick, or a globe, chances are you’re not my cup of tea.
Though, to be fair, personality does trump all- I just lucked out with my Lady wife.
A bit odd, yes, but around here I see an astonishing number of couples where the woman is definitely obese and her husband/boyfriend is as thin as a rail. I heard a radio program years ago about men who don’t like super-skinny women - a fellow said, “I don’t want to have to shake the sheets to find my girlfriend.”
Somebody finally explained to me why so many actresses are so beautiful in their movies, and then they turn up at the Oscars looking like clowns. It’s because on the movie set they have professional makeup artists creating their look, whereas they tend to do their own makeup for public appearances. And the actresses are no better at putting on makeup than the average woman off the street.
And to the OP, there’s a great deal of difference between being beautiful and being attractive: an attractive woman is axiomatically beautiful, but the converse does not hold. The difference is usually apparent when she starts to speak.
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Ever heard that song, “She Ain’t Pretty, She Just Looks That Way”?
Attractiveness is, of course, a very personal thing. The variety of responses in this thread alone illustrates that fact quite well. Given that, here’s my take on things.
I like ample women. Granted, there is still definitely such a thing as too large IMO, but given a choice between slim and somewhat overweight, I’ll tend to pay more attention to the more full-figured woman. I think you hit on the key items in the snippet I quoted: personality, and taking care of herself. If a person, man or woman, takes care of themselves, they’re most likely not going to be morbidly obese. And personality is by far the biggest factor in attractiveness. I’ve known many women who project an aura of warmth and sensuality from the very first glance, which makes them seem even more beautiful than they might otherwise be. And a woman I connect with on a personal level is always more beautiful to me than one I don’t.
Given all that, I must admit that I read your description of yourself and thought: “Satyricon – How YOU doin?”
So you’re muscular, with mighty boobs and a tapered waist? Why are you asking about fat girls?
BTW, I’m small all over. The guys I know seem to like it, but I don’t, and if you read the responses to this thread, lack of curves is not attractive to most.
I love a woman of size! Whether she’s got some extra curves or she’s an honest-to-goodness BBW, all big girls are A-OK in my book. Not that there’s anything wrong with the smaller ones, either! As long as they don’t look sickly-skinny, all women are gorgeous.
Satyricon, my half-baked theory as to why the guys beat you up is analogous to gay -bashing by latent homosexuals. They really were attracted to you but didn’t want to admit it.
I had a conversation about this the other day that left me really sad. I was with three male friends, and we were discussing a female friend of ours (whom one of the guys had not yet met). We’ll call the girl “Jen.” Jen’s name came up in conversation, and Guy#1 said, “oh, you mean Hot Jen?” And I said, “uh, well I wouldn’t really call her hot…” So Guy#1 disagreed and was trying to tell Guy#2 (the one who had never seen her) how hot Jen was. I disagreed, saying: 1) Jen does not have a pretty face. 2) she always dresses sloppily and like a tomboy 3) she has the body of a 12-year-old boy, no butt, no tits. The ONLY reason Guy#1 thought she was hot is because she is very skinny… He is obsessed with weight in women. To him, a normal-sized woman would be considered “fat…” Therefore because Jen is skinny, she is automatically “hot.”
So the conversation continued, and I told Guy#1 that I thought “Kim,” another friend of ours, was much prettier than Jen. He strongly disagreed, saying “Kim needs to lose a lot of weight first!” I couldn’t believe it! I have never noticed that Kim was overweight! She is NOT overweight at all. She is curvy and has an ample bosom, plus she is a very striking, beautiful woman! (Also has a better personality).
So I said, would you rather have a skinny girl with an ugly face, or a plump girl with a beautiful face…?
Of course he didn’t answer. What a prick. It seems to me, a lot of guys I know would rather have a skinny ugly girl than a plump pretty one. Very sad indeed.
What about this makes you sad? Their preferences, their loss. Italian and Spanish guys have a thing for blond Danish girls and will often pick an ugly blond girl over a beautiful brunette. Meanwhile I went and married a beautiful Spanish brunette.
You sound like a good looking woman to me. There’s a huge difference between someone who is hefty because they are in good physical shape and have well toned muscles as opposed to someone like me who suffers from the Dunlop disease (de belly done lopped over de belt). And someone who is buffed beats the living hell out of some anorectic, coked-out cookie any day.
A good example is Karen Carpenter. She was a beauty during her heyday and she died looking like the Revenge of the Beanpole.
I used to be quite chubby (I’m 5’4" and used to weigh 145lbs) till recently, when I lost about 20lbs or so. I do look better at 125lbs - am also slightly more muscular and toned than I used to be (although I am very far from being skinny). But it amazes me how more guys will give me the time of day now compared to when I was chubby. It’s kinda sad because I am the same person as I was back then, just in different packaging. I had to work harder at letting my personality shine through when I was chubby to be considered somewhat attractive.
I think the situation is somewhat worse here in Asian societies, where the norm is more towards slender and stick-thin rather than curvy and voluptuous. It doesn’t help when the majority of girls I see IRL are slender and my guy friends tell me that they’re really hot. Makes it hard for me to make peace with my fatty bits.
Ah, but are you the “same person”? If you worked at losing weight and becoming more muscular, I’d say you’re a different kind of person than you would be if you were a couch potato who didn’t take care of herself. Appearance isn’t just packaging. The kind of shape your body’s in, the expression on your face, the kind of clothes you wear—these all give hints or suggestions as to what kind of person you are. Of course people shouldn’t be judged just on their appearance, but often that’s the most obvious and most immediate thing we have to go by. And a lot of our appearance is beyond our control; some people have bodies that are a lot easier to keep in shape than others. And, whether it’s a good thing or not, people—especially guys—are built to respond to physical attraction.
For you. I’m slightly taller than you, but not as tall as Kferr (though if you were to wear high heels, you’d likely top us both), and know what it’s like to be so tall.
Actually, I lost the weight because of orthodontic treatment/braces - a month on a liquid/semi-liquid diet was no fun! I figured I’d lost muscle mass as well so I started working out at the gym, but that was several months after I’d lost the weight.
I agree that appearances are the most immediate thing we have to go by when meeting new people - but it is a little sad when people become less mindful of other factors like personality and treat appearances as the ONLY aspect to judge others on.
