I touched on this subject in another thread, and thought I’d do a IMHO on it.
Basically, my perception is that women assume that most men prefer very slim / skinny women but my preference, and the preference of most guys I’ve met, doesn’t work quite like that.
e.g. when having a conversation with guys about supermodels it’s so common for them to say they don’t find those women attractive that it’s almost a cliche.
So I’m trying to correct an inaccurate perception, so you’ll excuse if I briefly sound like I’m objectifying women.
Most straight men prefer feminine characteristics: things that highlight the differences between men and women. Boobs, slim waist, larger hips, longer leg to body ratio and general curviness are all popular. Too flabby and the figure is lost. Too skinny and the figure becomes androgynous.
There are couple of reasons why women might think we all like skinny women, apart from the bizarre standards of the fashion industry.
Firstly, I’d say that skinniness has less of a negative effect than obesity, and can be hidden easier with clothing. So a pretty girl who’s unhealthily slim, most guys would find attractive anyway, because she’s pretty and you don’t tend to notice skinniness so much particularly as it can be hidden easier with clothing. But she’d probably be more attractive if she put on weight.
And secondly, in any conversation with women, if they ask me to give an example of a woman I find hot there’s a social pressure on me not to say someone with too much T+A. Most guys will play it safe and think of someone with a pretty face but fairly indescript figure. And you get kudos for naming an older woman so many guys do that too.
As a straight guy I agree with you, extra curves are usually more attracive then fewer (within limits), and I too don’t find most models attractive. The only thing I’ll add is that I believe it’s more to do with faces. I’d estimate at least 90% of a woman’s attractiveness is in her face. So when you say most guys “play it safe” by naming a girl with a pretty face, I think it’s because they are truly more attracted to her, not becuase they are trying to make someone happy. That being said, I still know plenty of guys who’d bang a girl with no face so long as she had a nice bod.
I’m not really sure what the question is, but if it’s a poll on what we find attractive, my preference is for naturally skinny women. Not anorexic, that’s unnaturally skinny. Just women who have the genetic makeup of a slim, slender build.
That doesn’t mean I don’t find curvier women attractive, like Salma Hayek. It’s just that my first choice is for skinny.
I suspect that a large issue is that what we like to look at and what we like to touch are different. A slender but also well developed and fit body looks great in advertisements and slinking about on the silver screen. But I think that to most people it doesn’t seem “real” somehow. For someone you’d want to have an actual relationship with, a woman shaped like a “woman” not like a “model” is what guys are looking for.
That said personally I like slender bodies, but I would put myself in the minority. Probably it’s explained by being, myself, quite thin.
It’s also not very nice. In my experience naturally thin women are about as likely to be self-conscious about their body (small breasts, no curves, whatever) as overweight women are. I don`t feel guilty about not being particularly attracted to overweight women, but I don’t go around saying rude things about overweight women either.
People like different things. Some people like really thin women, some like women with really athletic builds, some like plus sized women, etc. Just because that guy from Good Charlotte who knocked up Nicole Richie wouldn’t think I am hot doesn’t mean my boyfriend thinks I am any less sexy, and just because my boyfriend wouldn’t want to boink Nicole Richie doesn’t mean her husband doesn’t think she is boinkable.
Yeah. I’m not “skinny”, but I can’t understand why people think it’s OK to call skinny women “ten year old boys” when the same people probably do NOT think it’s OK to make fun of fat women.
Honestly, skinny women give me the willies. I always have to fight back an urge to lock 'em in a closet and force feed them cheesecake, burgers and beer. I love almost all of the female body variants—athletic, petite, slim, chubby, Rubenesque, etc.—but skinny, and it’s bastard cousin ‘scrawny’, are just…let’s go with ‘icky’. The “gulag survivor” and “meth whore” look just don’t do it for me.
Are you differentiating between skinny (I know a lot of ppl use it to mean, like really emaciated) and thin, Jettboy? Because I’m thin and also fairly athletic looking, and I think I look a lot more womanly that…well, certain other women.
I think a lot of the too skinny = beautiful mistaken impression comes from the fact that most fashion magazines use incredibly beautiful but too skinny women as models. If you keep seeing women who really are beautiful that also happen to be too skinny for most mens tastes then you start associating the two. Fashion models are beautiful, fashion models are very skinny, therefore very skinny = beautiful. The obvious answer is women need to read a lot more playboy and penthouse and a lot less cosmo and seventeen.
Do you have hips? A waist? A pronounced ass? Are your ribs, collarbone, and the knobs of your spine visible? Are those little ripples around your sterum visible? Are your thighs and calves almost the same diameter?
Apologies, m’dear, but I’m going to have to ask for pictures.
I think people (and I’m including myself here) get their knickers in a twist when others start stating what they like while by denigrating what they don’t like.
It’s one thing to say “I like skinny women”. It’s quite another to say “I would never date such a fat cow”. And so on.
Agreed. It is ironic that magazines designed for women, are in fact vehicles of psychological torture and filled with “this is why you aren’t good enough” descriptions. This is how you should dress, this is what you should have, this is how you should wear make-up, this is what your SO wishes you could do in bed, this is what your sex life should be like, this is how your body should look, this is how you should feel, etc.
I don’t like Kate Hudson/Keira Knightley/Kate Moss skinny. IMO women should be soft and cuddly, while still looking healthy and taking well enough care of their appearance (age appropriate). I don’t expect a 50 y/o woman to have the body of a 20 y/o.
I like a woman with a little meat on her bones. Mainly for two reasons:
I’m 6’ 200lbs. If you give me a woman too skinny; I’m afraid I’ll break her.
2.) I realize this is probably just a fluke, but I had a really bad experience with
a (very) skinny woman once. We were going at it; she moves her hip in some odd way (I’m not sure what she did really) and I felt like I broke my penis in half!
Probably one of the most painful experiences of my life.