I’m infinitely more concerned about what happens to me after death (afterlife or cessation of existence) than what happens to my body. I either won’t be able to care about what happens to it or I’ll have much more important things to worry about in a hopefully benevolent afterlife. I have no desire to stay on Earth as a ghost or reincarnate either (which is basically the same as death but that’s another matter).
Whereas I zero concern regarding my body or “my soul” … my concern is fixated on the well being of those who I cared about (and possibly cared about me) in life. For all I care process my remains in Solyent Green. Or however the parts can be of some use. But if all my death achieves is a reason for my adult children, wife if she survives me, and any extended family to connect for bit then I am all for the (kept simple) death rituals.
My brother died almost a year ago. We weren’t sure of the plans, he’d been divorced for years, they have 5 adult children. We were putting our money, if you will, on cremation. Imagine my surprise when seeing my brother in an open casket. He was later cremated. My ex sister-in-law is very Catholic. I know she helped with the planning. I’m convinced that’s why they did the viewing.
I do not need to see dead people, and I sure as hell do not need anyone seeing me dead.
Johnny Carson, when asked about a funeral, said to just put him in a garbage bag and set him on the curb.
I’ve been to a couple of funerals here in Melbourne. Including my Mother and Father. Farmer’s funeral I took my mother to had a big turnout.
But my Aunts and Uncles in the USA just had interment, family only.
Maybe because they lived mobile, and retired to somewhere else, and were interred somewhere else again.
Perhaps going out of fashion faster in the USA than other places?
When my very religious grandma died a few years ago, it was decided that there wasn’t going to be any sort of church service or formal funeral. Instead, all her kids and grandkids and great-grandkids (excepting my sister, who couldn’t come because of a high-risk pregnancy) got together at a park in the foothills of the Oregon Cascades that she liked. We stood around in a big circle, sang Amazing Grace, told stories about what she meant to us and what we learned from her, then we walked down to the Santiam River and scattered her ashes there. We then had a wake at a Mexican restaurant in Corvallis where we drank margaritas and reminisced about the good times.
My mom wants something similar when she eventually passes - split her ashes into two parts, scatter half of them in Puget Sound and half of them in the Pacific Ocean in San Diego where she grew up.
Sounds like American capitalism shooting itself in the foot again. The mortuary process has become so expensive in the United States that it’s become socially acceptable to do away with part or all of it, something that would have been unthinkable in the past.
Cremation has been becoming more common all over the world. The only places where it’s not yet very common are certain countries in Africa and South America. Here’s the Wikipedia entry on how common it is around the world:
Note that your link doesn’t even mention the Middle East, where cremation is virtually nonexistent.
Worth expanding on that? Cremation is haram, forbidden, in Islam, and not traditional in Judaism. But both go for quickly buried; Islam just the shroud and coffin, yes?
Reading up on… any comment on the alleged coming crisis of space to bury folk in Israel?
Yes, and Jews generally do without the coffin, too. Burial is quick - preferably the same day, and within 48 hours at the most. A friend of mine, his mother died suddenly in her sleep of an undiagnosed brain aneurism. His father woke up next to her dead body at 7 AM. The funeral was that afternoon at 4 PM, nine hours later. So yes: quick.
As for cremation, well, to be blunt… we had enough of that at Auschwitz.
As for the land shortage: eventually, the solutions proposed in the article will be implemented. There’s no other choice. People will grumble, but so long as there are bones and a gravestone to visit, they’ll accept it.
Innocent question: was cremation acceptable before the “1940s” ?
Not really: cremation was never a Jewish practice, something it has in common with most Middle Eastern religions. Added to this is the Jewish belief in the literal resurrection of the dead at the end of days (dem bones, dem bones), which requires the presence of, well, bones.
The Holocaust mainly reinforced the custom, making the very concept of cremation abhorrent to most Israelis.
Also, regarding cremation there is an issue of language. Words affect our psychology and our social attitudes.
The English language has a special word, “cremation”, which softens the unpleasantness of death.
The Hebrew language has no such word. There is only “burn”. And “Burn” is what you do with garbage. (among other things).
So for Israeli Jews, it is difficult to have a polite conversation about the idea of not burying the body..
Jews in English-speaking countries are much more willing to accept the idea.
(For a rough analogy, imagine dicussing legalizing prositution, if the only word you had is “whorehouses”.)
I hadn’t really thought about it that way, but that seems reasonable. Death has almost always been big business with funeral clubs dating back a few thousand years in Europe. These clubs would pool resources, ensure members would get a decent burial without bankrupting the family, and even provide some funds for widows and orphans. The average cost for a funeral in the United States is about $8,000, which is a significant chunk of change for a lot of Americans.
I don’t know if cremation was ever illegal anywhere in the United States, but throughout most of the 19th century it wasn’t a common funerary practice. Like @Alessan points out, it’s all about dem bones, dem bones, dem bones. Most Americans believed in a literal resurrection and it’s tough to do that when you’re nothing but ashes. The first commercial crematoriam in the US was built in 1876 and it was controversial.
In America at least I don’t think many outside of the Orthodox community share that belief. I don’t think there is even any big afterlife belief of any kind. Do Jews outside of the Orthodox communities in Israel believe that?
I got curious about percentages in the U.S. and while I couldn’t find firm numbers, I ran across a number of articles of many observant Jews being pretty alarmed at the trends. This one from 2020 estimates ~50% nationwide and there is an applicable quote:
But Zohn and others who are trying to convince more Jews to choose burial also know they are up against compelling financial realities. In general, burial costs more than cremation.
“Ninety percent of the problem is that the cost of a funeral in Dallas is about $10,000 and the cost of cremation is $2,700,” said Hirschberg of the Dallas Chevra Kadisha. In response, his group is offering loans to families to shoulder the burden.
The article goes on to note that in the U.S. the Reform and Conservative strains of Judaism (which dominate the U.S. numerically, with less than 10% of American Jews being Orthodox) discourage cremation, but consider it loosely permissible in the sense of being willing to perform services.
I also found a timely and aghast op-ed from just a week ago in The Times of Israel estimating 40% overall in the U.S. with higher regional rates like 70% in places like California. I don’t know where he is sourcing his numbers, but that is what peaked my interest in the first place as I know someone here in CA whose seemingly pretty devout Jewish mother (Conservative) opted for cremation several months ago before she died.
Probably not, but you can’t really separate religion from culture, especially here. I didn’t really grasp it before this thread, but giving people a “proper burial” and honoring the dead - not just their memories, but also their actual remains - is a very important part of Israeli Jewish culture, more so than in most other places.
When my brother died (2018), three of us (mom, my wife, and I) took care of most of the planning for a Celebration of Life for him - his widow did nearly nothing because she was still in shock. For some reason, Mom decided the union office meeting room (he was president of the local) was going to be big enough. I told her that there was no way that a room that sat 50, at most, would be enough for the 300-350 people I expected to show up, and it wasn’t. I think nearly 400 people came. Fortunately, we had ordered enough food so nobody went away hungry.
When Dad passed away, COVID protocols dictated that we could not have a large gathering, so we told family and friends we’d have one once restrictions eased. By the time large gatherings were allowed, I think my mom had worked through her grief enough that she told everybody to remember him in the way they felt appropriate on his birthday.
I don’t know what my mom’s plans are for a funeral or other observance. I know she wants to be cremated, but that’s about it. Since she’s turning 90 this weekend, I should probably ask.
My wife and I are planning on being composted. It’ll be legal in California next year. I expect I’ll die first (she’s way healthier than I am), so I hope she’ll ‘put me to work’ in her garden on last time. If she dies first, I’ll put her in her garden, which is her happy place anyway. And should we go at the same time, our youngest will probably amend the soil with us at a community garden where they volunteer.
Lastly, as the old joke goes, if you don’t go to other people’s funerals, they won’t come to yours. (Attributed to Yogi Berra, but possibly not really)