What does she represent to you? I have found that people in dreams only very seldom represent the actual people. More often they are ideas or concepts or parts of you.
For a couple of examples;
In the past, every time “Randy” would appear in my dreams, I knew he represented the totally irresponsible side of me. Because that’s the kind of person he was.
My older sister is a control freak. When I dream of her, I know the dream is about control.
My younger sister represents everything I ever wanted in life and never had. Spouse, Children, Wealth, all that.
So what do you think of when you think of her, at the base level?
Then, look at the dreams from two perspectives.
One, summarize it in one or two sentences (at most) and then consider what that means or has to do with your life or what has been in your head recently.
Two, look at the details and the flow of it, and then think about how that might relate to your life and what you’re going through. Just don’t get too tied to specifics and details. Dreams speak in metaphor, simile and analogy. Symbolism, as above.
Either that or you just really want to see her and hope something comes of it.
My guess is that you’re having the dreams because you haven’t decided whether to go to the reunion or not. Perhaps your subconscious is trying to urge you to go, and once you make that decision, the dreams will stop.
One of the dreams showed me as being jealous, and yes, I was in those days. I just don’t understand why NOW I’m dreaming of her, unless it’s to make things “right” before I kick the proverbial bucket, as it were.
Don’t worry, I’ll be around to bitch and moan ad infinitum!
What I am getting is that you should go as there is unfinished business on both of your parts. There is something still holding you to each other that most likely should be a attachment to your wife instead and now with the reunion is the opportunity to do that.
As for what will will happen or if she will show. All I can say is it’s not up to you, your job and free will choice is to intend to go and whatever happens is mean to happen.
What may happen, you may see her as unattractive and that may break that part of your heart that is still attached (no talking required), she may need to tell you something, you may need to tell her something, she may see you as unattractive to her and that could have her release you, she may not even show up at all and that could also break that attachment.
There are so many things that could happen it is impossible to go through all the cases but wanted to give some examples that no matter what happens it happened just as it was suppose to, regardless of what you do, but the only thing that I feel you should do is intend to go the reunion (which means that you don’t even have to get there, just intend to go and if circumstances block it - that’s what was suppose to happen).
Intending not to go is akin to burying the issue instead fo resolving it, either way life will go on, but a resolution is preferable.
I know you poo=pood this one, but basically I agree with this find it insightful and combined with my above post is what I consider confirmation. And further confirmation that you poopood this one that this one is probably correct.
Lot of variables, for sure, kanicbird and everyone. D has already said we’re going though, so I guess we are. It will be up to me as to what happens or doesn’t, I guess. I don’t do so well in public anymore, but I can bite the bullet for that one night.
The people we loved in the past never really go away, even if they hate us or move away to the ends of the earth or pass on. You might still have some love for this girl in your heart, and that’s okay. But even if you do, that doesn’t mean you have to do anything about it. Just let yourself feel it, if that’s how you feel.
Even though we can’t revisit our past or change anything about it–and likely wouldn’t WANT to change it, even if we could–it’s natural to spend time thinking about how things might have turned out differently. There’s this really beautiful country song by Joe Diffie about this concept, it’s called “That Road Not Taken” (youtube link). I consider myself fairly hard-hearted (heh), and it even makes ME cry. Just know that there’s a reason you didn’t end up with her, even if it was only bad timing.
I know I’m not very old yet, but the older I get, the more nostalgia I have for my old flames. It’s part of being human. Time tends to blur the bad things about people, until only good memories are left. And it’s fine to think fondly on those old memories, as long as you don’t dwell on them and forget to live.
Anyway… I don’t think you have anything to feel guilty about. I mean, anyone who’s read your posts here *knows *how devoted you are to your wife. And, even if you DO still have love in your heart for this girl from the past, it doesn’t diminish your love for your wife at all. It’s not a sign of betrayal, it’s just the human condition.
Don’t worry you are suppose to, they are all beautiful and made to be loved, You just may be a bit more advanced in love then those you know.
I’d shift the OP, it is not your dreams that are holding you hostage, it is your dreams that are trying to lead you to freedom from being a hostage. Don’t fear them.
The above can really mean so many things. That dance where you are given by your wife to your ex g/f may be for the exchange of love from her to your wife. Often some form of exchange must happen. Your ex g/f gets a last dance (note the word ‘borrow’ in the dream) then you are released in full to your wife. You are passive in this dream, your input does not enter into it, the decision is made for you and you comply.
This may not be so much about you is also what I’m now getting, but between your wife and her. You may be just the object of the transaction and have very little input on this. The dreams are from your wife who wants more of you and this is the opportunity.