Me: Excuse me, do you have Hanukah candles?
Worker: What?
Me: Do you have Hanukah candles?
Worker: Candles? Aisle 6.
Me: Those are regular candles. I want Hanukah candles.
Worker:
Me: Hanukah is a Jewish holiday.
Worker: Ah, holiday candles! Right this way!
Worker: Here you are!
Me: Thanks, but those are Christmas candles.
Worker:
Me: Hanukah candles are smaller.
Worker: How about these?
Me: Too small. Those are birthday candles.
Worker: Um… Let me get a manager.
Ten minutes pass as I check out various “major award” lamps.
Manager: Sir, may I help you?
Me: Hanukah candles?
Manager: Right this way, sir.
(Manager comes through like a champ.)
Clerk: May I help you, sir?
Me: Just these.
Clerk tries to scan them. They don’t scan. She picks up the phone.
Clerk: Can I get a price on… Chanukah candles?
Me: Hanuka.
Clerk: Chanuka.
Me: Hanuka.
Clerk: Chanuka.
Me: It’s pronounced Hanukah.
Clerk: :dubious: It says ‘Chanuka.’
Me: True. But it’s pronounced ‘Hanukah.’
Lady in line behind me: It’s Hanukah.
Clerk: Then how come it’s spelled Chanukah? :dubious:
Me: Those crazy Jews, huh?
General discussion followed, including why you burn two on the first night instead of one.
Clerk: That’s so cool! So, like… You make a wish, and if you blow out all the candles, you get, like, a present or whatever?
Gotta admit I didn’t know the menorah required special candles either. I hadn’t thought about it much but would have assumed they were regular, white taper candles.
I didn’t know a menorah required certain candles. For that matter, there’s a lot about Christmas I don’t know, or even care to know, and my family is Christian, though I’m not.
I have to admit that until about 15 years ago I didn’t, either. So I get it. It’s just weird to go into a store where they’re sold, and the clerks don’t even know they sell them. Weird and amusing.
Forget about trying buy them at a convenience store.
I always thought Hanukah candles we no different except for the fact that they were sold in some odd number so that you have exactly the right number of candles for all nights. Having to buy in ‘standard’ candle numbers would leave left over candles, which is wasteful.
Hanukkah candles make the best candles to hand around at Pagan rituals for people to hold and make the Circle look pretty. Perfect size to reduce the people-setting-each-other-on-fire risk.
I went to a restaurant the other day and ordered a cocktail off their list of 6 or 7 recommended mixed drinks and got one of the blankest looks I’ve ever seen from the waiter. “What on earth is that?” “Dunno, but it’s on your menu and it sounds delicious.”
I regularly go to a restaurant where one of their listed beers is a nut brown ale. Almost without exception, the waitrons confidently declared that they don’t carry any such thing.
They do come in packs of 44, though sometimes I’ve seen them in 45. There’s a spare, I guess.
The diameter is smaller so that they fit the holders – I’m pretty sure that there’s a standard size, but I’ve seen some menoras that hold regular sized candles. There’s a lot a variation in design, and some menoras are quite beautiful and creatively designed.
They are also a bit shorter and burn down in about an hour. I’ve had some that last longer.
Sometimes they come in all sort of festive colors, but blue and white seem to be favored colors.
No, you are right that they are packaged so you will have the right number of candles for a complete Hanukah observance.
Here’s the math question - how many candles do you need? Remember, you start with one, and add another each of the 8 crazy nights. Plus one shamus (the one used to light the others) each night (Jews who have purchased said packages exempt from answering). Anyone? Anyone?
