Geez, you guys! Okay! (Raises right hand) I swear I will not fantasize in the car ever again forever and ever, amen!
There, now the world is safe.
No pecans or filberts in this blend.
Just plain nuts.
I don’t want to be judgmental, seeing as I started a thread myself about my own insecurities. And I love the word “faux-sexual.” Buuuuuuut I think it seems like your fantasies are intruding upon your real life in a way that could be harmful.
I certainly fantasize about people, and imagine conversations that I’d have…but it’s never to the point where I literally lose track of what I’m doing in real life, and I frequently snap out of the fantasies to my real life thoughts/issues.
I can’t answer as to whether there’s a hormonal aspect to this as I am about 30 years away from menopause nor am I a doctor…but I think the fact that it’s impairing stuff like your driving indicates that there’s a problem. It’s not your fantasies per se, it’s how you’re reacting to them. There’s nothing wrong with “losing yourself” in bed, there is when you’re doing 70 on the freeway.
My fingernails do peel though, I can’t grow them long. It probably has to do with diet or something.
I’m worried Leeloo may have discovered my affair with Erin Esurance.
I haven’t hit perimenopause yet, but I have a gland problem that led to decreased levels of some hormones. The intrusive sexual thoughts you describe sounds like what happened to me for a couple of months after I went on hormone medication, although in my case it was not as severe. So yes, I can believe this might be hormonal, and it may well ease up on its own. However, since this seems to be interfering with your everyday life, and particularly since you’ve endangered yourself and others with reckless driving, I would strongly recommend that you see a doctor.
Hormonal changes affect everyone differently. I would definitely suggest hitting up a gyno and finding out what hormone pills <hey, it can BE The Pill; doesn’t take much to balance out for some folk, so don’t be worried> are available. You don’t have to go into detail, just let him know that your libido is interefering; I am 99.9 percent sure that s/he has heard it all before.
I am not looking forward to menopause, or peri, at all. I am not a surgery-option type of gal, but I would have my insides torn out in a heartbeat if it would prevent me having to go through it, ugh.
Definitely get help, but go with the physical kind. Hormones are STRONG; nobody knows this as well as a PMS’ing/menopausing woman or her mate! Or her gyno.
Seconded.
But not one the OP has fantasized about before, given that she’s “… never gone back to someone I’ve left before.” 
“Is my 3PM here yet?”
“No, Dr, she canceled.”
“Really? Did she give a reason why?”
“She said that it was over between you and that you just need to move on…”
UM, I have a rich fantasy life myself, always have (AND am a writer myself) and am likely perimenopausal to boot (at 45), but the shit the OP describes strikes me as seriously fucked up.
If you can’t control your fantasy life/conversations with your imaginary friends enough to operate a motor vehicle without risking your life and the lives of those around you or otherwise function safely in reality, if said imaginary friends are starting to intrude of their own accord and refuse to leave, that’s messed up.
I don’t think “hormones” or “perimenopause” is the answer, however comforting it may be. JMHO. ETA, yes, get the hormones checked…they ARE powerful. I guess what I mean to say is, the op seems a bit too flippant about it all and seeking reassurance that everything is OK when it sure doesn’t seem that way to me.
Sooooo, everyone votes for chemical hysterectomy, eh? No thanks.
People please, the lapse in the car was momentary, no one was even close to being hurt, and the way some of you are talking, you’re picturing me babbling away to thin air, ready for the looney bin. No one has ever driven while thinking about something and missed an exit? No one has ever unknowingly speeded up the car when their favorite fast dance song came on the radio? No one has ever drag raced? Come on.
I’m too flippant about this? What should I do, bust out crying? Beg for forgiveness?
I will NOT do hormone replacement therapy because the long term effects have NOT been fully studied. Some studies link such therapies to breast cancer. Perimenopause is a perfectly natural process and doesn’t need any chemical help.
My imaginary friends do not drop in uninvited and refuse to leave. No, really, I’m doing this for my own pleasure; me and no one else. I don’t get lost in LalaLand and not recognize my surroundings. I snap out of my daydreams as well as anyone.
If I were having hallucinations, I would be scared as hell. These are NOT hallucinations. These are the same fantasies I’ve always had. They are a little more intense than usual, but it’s nothing to be alarmed about.
Jesus Christ, I’m already on six different medications for different stuff. I don’t need any more.
Oh, and the car thing happened three weeks ago. I’ve driven plenty since then, and surprise, surprise, I haven’t totalled the car even once. I’ve run over a few toddlers, true, but I wasn’t fantasizing at all. I just hate toddlers. They scream in restaurants.
Oh darn it, now I’m being flippant again.
Do you mind saying what the medications are?
You did say you were swerving across lanes around cars like a maniac. That doesn’t sound like the daydreaming most people do. I’d seek medical help for that.
What were you doing if not that?
You seem to think just the original level of fantasizing was normal. Are you so sure you’d be aware if you started to break from reality?
Yeah, I was singing. I do that a lot in the car.
But no, I don’t babble into thin air. I have conversations, but not out loud.
I’ve had these fantasies since I was a young child. If I’m not normal, I’ve managed to live a productive life in spite of it. And yes, I’m fully aware of where reality ends and fantasy begins. It’s easy to tell. If it sucks, it’s reality.
As for medications, it’s glyburide, cymbalta, advair, something for the kidneys, simvastatin, and water pills for high blood pressure.
Don’t overanalyse it. If it works for you and harms nobody else, just enjoy.
I deleted most of what I wrote because my son sometimes stops by the board.
Um, actually no one has voted for chemical hysterectomy.
You’re the one who said in your OP that it was difficult not to fantasize while driving, and later that you’d “had near misses with the car” and described an incident where you were “doing 85, and swerving across lanes and around cars like a maniac”. That’s not simply going a bit over the speed limit or being distracted and missing your exit. Don’t get angry at us for taking you at your word when you described yourself as having trouble controlling your fantasies and driving in a reckless and dangerous manner.
No, you should stop making excuses and go to the doctor.
You don’t know that what you’re experiencing is due to natural perimenopause. As I know from experience, there are other conditions that can affect hormone levels, and some of them are life-threatening if left untreated.
Well, that’s not what your earlier posts indicate. Why did you start this thread at all if you weren’t worried and looking for advice? You’ve been posting here long enough to know that you shouldn’t ask questions if you don’t want to hear the answers.
I don’t think you’re nuts or need HRT but you might want to look into natural methods to control some of the hormonal craziness going on. I can sympathize. You don’t have to give up your fantasies just moderate when you have them.
THANK YOU. This is what I’m going to look into. It’s just that, as Dogzilla said, specific information about perimenopausal symptoms is difficult to find from a pure research standpoint.
Oh, and Lamia? I did not say I had “near misses” with the car. Another poster said she nearly crashed her car twice. I had a single incident, which will not happen again, because I will NOT fantasize in the car anymore, as I said.
Ok folks, chill out. Has no one here ever daydreamed while they were driving only to arrive at their destination without remembering anything about the drive? How about driving faster or more recklessly than normal because they were excited about something?
And has no one here ever fallen in love and found that they had trouble concentrating on anything else? I’ve certainly had crushes in my life that were quite distracting.
(Now think about how the OP is someone who effectively daydreams for a living. )
As far as this being normal, FWIW I have heard that women’s libidos do tend to increase in their thirties and forties. But trying to google for this finds more information on decreased libido and how to increase it. :smack: I did find one page that said that there are some VERY RARE physical problems that could cause increased libido (Note also that periomenopause is not on that list). If your libido gets even more intrusive, you should talk to your doctor about it - you can certainly emphasize that you do not want to treat the symptom unless there is a clear indicator that it is a health hazard.
I just think there’s a difference between driving faster and not remembering the journey and swerving across lanes and other cars like a maniac. And since the OP couldn’t control herself well enough that time, what makes her so confident she can consistently do it any other time?
Because I’ve been driving for thirty years, and this is the only time this has happened to me? Look, have you never seen someone on a multi-lane highway driving faster than others and passing cars, changing from lane to lane? I see others doing that at least three times every trip. I just stay the hell out of their way. ONCE, I resembled one of those drivers for maybe two or three minutes before I took notice and slowed down.
Christ almighty, if someone mentions that they ONCE drove home from a birthday barbeque a little tipsy, and then swore never to do that again, would you insist that they immediately join AA? Maybe it’s you who needs some hormone therapy to calm down.