I am the poster most likely to be stoned while posting.
I am the poster that has posted most recently. As of riiiiight…NOW!
I’m the ONLY doper who lives in Canmore. Therefore:
The cutest, youngest, sweetest, most beautiful, tallest, most talented, and most demure and modest poster. In Canmore.
Maybe I’m the quilt-iest.
Don’t forget spiciest (is that a word, not sure, should be)
[sub]Canadianredheads rule !!![/sub]
Me, I’m the most Francophone poster. 
I’m the only Icelandic poster that can write English (albeit, just barely).
I am the most subversive Commie Pinko poster.
I am the only poster living in Beijing.
I am probably the only poster to have had a 20th birthday party on The Great Wall.
— G. Raven
I would definitely challenge for the title of laziest Doper. Although the true laziest Doper might be too lazy to post here and let us know about his or her existence. So maybe I can just try to be the “Laziest Doper Not Lazy Enough to be Too Lazy to Actually Claim the Title,” or something of that sort.
I’m likely to be the only Doper to make smoothies for a living, but that’s not much of a distinction. hmm…
I’d like to be the Best Doper at the Game of Starcraft. Now there’d be a title worth fighting for.
Dammit, that makes me sound lame. I’ll come up with something!
I am the only doper awake in my house right now.
(I figure the dogs don’t count and I’m the only other person living here)
I am the worst speller!
Damn!! When do I ever learn to spell right?? (See, I passed you right there spooje). That must read: who might. No need for a 'll there…
i think i am the only violinist doper. at least i assume so, as i am too lazy to actually research that. not that i’m trying to claim the lazy title. i know someone’s husband is a violinist, but he’s not a doper, now is he?
just had a thought: it would be really cool if there was a doper string quartet, not that it would actually happen… any of you a violist or 'cellist. of course we’d need another violinist, which would strip me of my title…how 'bout a trio?
Hey! Maybe I can be the Best Doper at Minesweeper! Of course I would cede the title of Best Doper at Minesweeper (Beginner Only) to you, amati.
Dammit, that’s lame too! I wanna be cool…
I think I’m the only doper for whom British Sign Language is a first language. I’m probably one of the littlest adult posters at 4ft10, if not the littlest. If I win this title, could I please have my victory marching flag [sub]we must have flags, surely?[/sub] on a really long pole so that everyone may see it?
It was the wrong word. But it was spelled correctly.
So…pppttthhhhppp!
::blowing Aghris a raspberry!::
Oh, OK then, nitpicker. So we have a worst speller and a worst grammar user here then. You decide which of the two is even worse.
I’m probably one of the biggest dopers - I know some are taller, and some weigh more, but I don’t know of any that have my combination of height and weight (6’5" and 300 lbs).
I think I’ve performed more weddings than any other Doper, although I may be wrong (100 by the end of July).
I may also be the only Doper who’s been on TV in Japan (in a show that may end up as a new post in the thread “What’s the most disturbing thing you’ve seen on TV?” Me! In a cowboy hat, whomping the bejeezus out of somone else in a cowboy hat. For a kid’s show.)
–sublight.
I’ll be 62 this month so I’m probably ah, you know…what was the question?
I’m possibly the most ignored Doper… dubious honour, but I’ll take what I can get.
I am probably the Doper who is most starved for attention, and most willing to do anything to get it.
Hey! Look at me! I want a cookie!