You just might be a Doper if...

You’ve ever written “Hi, Opal!,” “Band name!” or “I can haz _____?”

You have a firmly-held belief as to whether or not Cecil Adams actually exists.

You’re secretly proud when a mod refers with approval to something you’ve written.

You’ve ever grumbled when a mod closed a thread you were enjoying.

You even know what a mod is.

You remember The Winter of Our Missed Content, or know someone who does.

There are other Dopers whose posts you can almost anticipate, word for word, before you even read them.

You’ve been to a Dopefest.

You’ve considered moving to Chicago just to be closer to the Holy of Holies of Dopedom.

You miss the Happy Orthodox Jew smiley. A little.

You’ve wished there were a pukey smiley.

You remember Smashie.

Your use of the phrase “The Usual Suspects” isn’t in reference to a movie.

You use “pit” as a verb.

You’ve shared with strangers things you haven’t told blood relatives.

You’ve explained to your mailman the wonders of Bacon Salt.
You’ve more than a passing familiarity with the particulars of Marianas Trench exploration.

Vanity search – [Eric Idle] Say no more, say no more. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, eh? [/Eric Idle]

You reflexively ask people for cites.

You can say to your significant other “Today someone on the board said…” and they know exactly what board you’re talking about without having to ask.

You find yourself mentally composing posts regarding whatever random questions pop into your head at any given time.

You nitpick mundane, pointless discussions.

(Inevitable nitpick: “I can haz ___” is from the LOLCATZ fad; “mod” is a common abbrev. for moderator. As in: The mods for another forum I’m on are likely getting sick of LOL-speak and LOLCATZ photos, even if the photos have gone beyond “I can haz cat pix, kthxbye.”)

You cite OpalCat as your writing-style referent when collapsing a 1 (or 2) item list to the next higher heading.

You don’t use Wikipedia or your favorite search engine for Internet research; you ask in GQ.

You hear some little piece of idiocy at work and you think to yourself that is just what (an appropriate poster on the dope) would say.

You hear some clever remark and think to yourself that is just what (an appropriate poster on the dope) would say.

Whenever a famous person dies, your first thought is “Deathpool.”

You’ve actually met Opal (as I have, just a few weeks ago).

You have reoccurring dreams about being behind going into final Jeopardy when Alex reveals a question about the deepest depths of the ocean and you win it all.

ding ding ding We have a winner!

You’re having an initmate private moment, and you think to yourself “Like a motherfuck!”

Seeing this as a poll…
You’ve ever written “Hi, Opal!,” “Band name!” or “I can haz _____?”

Nope, Nope, and nearly (“I has”)

You have a firmly-held belief as to whether or not Cecil Adams actually exists.

I’m indifferent.

You’re secretly proud when a mod refers with approval to something you’ve written.

I would be, if it ever happened.

You’ve ever grumbled when a mod closed a thread you were enjoying.

Yes, My own.

You even know what a mod is.

:rolleyes:

You remember The Winter of Our Missed Content, or know someone who does.

I’ve heard old timers talking about it.

There are other Dopers whose posts you can almost anticipate, word for word, before you even read them.

This Post has been Graped by the Grapist

You’ve been to a Dopefest.

Nope.

You’ve considered moving to Chicago just to be closer to the Holy of Holies of Dopedom.

:dubious:

You miss the Happy Orthodox Jew smiley. A little.

No.

You’ve wished there were a pukey smiley.

Yes.
And… To add… You are a member of the Church of Og.

I pretty much always say Og whenever I’d say “God”. “Gotcha ya” is a permanent part of my vocabulary, as well.

  • You’ve managed to work “When come back bring pie” into a conversation.

  • People on other message boards and systems who use poor grammer and poor punctuation really, really annoy you.

  • You’ve left for a lengthy period of time (in my case about a year), but something inevitably drags you back in.

[QUOTE=Elendil’s Heir
]
You miss the Happy Orthodox Jew smiley. A little.
[/QUOTE]
Wow, I just realized he was not there any more.

<<Ducks as the low flying Orthodox Jew plane Whooshes over his head >>

  • Oh yeah, you just might be a Doper if you have ever used inappropriate punctuation or non-functioning VB code to express an action or the inspiration behind it.

When you mouse-over links on other websites expecting a preview to pop up…

HAH!

I was arguing something with my brother-in-law the other weekend, and I asked him for a cite. he lookded at me oddly.

-Cem

Yes! CNN now drives me crazy, at least CBSsportsline and ESPN do give mouse-overs.

As you’re cleaning up an injury, you’re also thinking, “Hey, if this goes bad, I might finally have a post for the pimple thread.”

Your kids roll their eyes as you mention “the Board” again.