You know you're a Doper when....

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Regardless of start dates and post counts, I think I finally feel like a Doper when I have one of those SDMB moments IRL that no one around you gets.

Yesterday I bought what appears to be a truly awful book. At a dollar store. How bad does a book have to do to be shuffled off for sale at a dollar store?

Why would I buy what appears to be a waste of perfectly good tree anyway? Because the whimsical cover art caught my eye and the title World of Pies immediately made me murmer “When come back…” and then furtively glance around to make sure none of my fellow thrift shoppers heard me. And it even has pie recipes, which pretty well justifies my buck even if the prose sucks.

The other day at work, during a conversation about dieting, my boss took a drink of her diet soda, inhaled her cigarette, and then advised us all not to eat margarine “Because it’s one molecule away from plastic!” Alas, there was no one to share my reflexive eye-roll with.

So, c’mon, who’s screamed “Cite?” during a casual dinner conversation? Who thanks Og in church? Who’s got penis ensuing at inappropriate moments?

2

… you dream of reading a dope thread.

… you see your sperm and you instantly write the OP in your mind.
On a related note, I knew I was a Firefox user when I stared at an advertising banner in a newspaper in confusion wondering why I couldn’t block it. Took me 3 seconds to figure it out.

3

Every time I open a bag of those WOW chips mde with olestra…

Every damn time.

4

When expressing your anger you say, “My rage burns with the fire of a million suns.”

5

When you’re browsing MPSIMS and say to your self “Oh no, somebody stated yet another “You know you’re a Doper when…””

BTW, I being humorous not snarky here. Have fun with the thread guys! :slight_smile:

6

When you compose OPs in your head throughout the day in response to things going on around you.

7

…you can’t wait for your next 15 minute break so you can catch up on your subscribed threads.

8

Ooh, I do that. It used to be I’d just talk to myself using my inner mind-voice. Now my inner mind-voice is always dictating a post explaining things to an imaginary reader of that post.

9

… you’re on SDMB so much that a co-worker begins a "Sex With Sheep is Fun " thread in your name while you were making a quick run to the coffee machine ([and it gets 398 replies).

10

…when you say “Gotcha ya!” when you fool one of your friends, and realize that no one knows what you’re talking about.

…when you keep finding yourself about to make a joke about 1920’s style “death rays,” before realizing that no one would know what the hell you were talking about.

…when someone is describing a messy situation and you ask “so, did penis ensue?” and you realize that no one knows what in Og’s name you’re talking about, and not only that, they’ve just called the cops.

Yeah, it’s the in-jokes that get me.

11

so basically, what you’re telling us is, no one ever knows what you’re talking about? :wink:

12

Or when, after seeing a reference to “gotcha ya”, you remember where you were several years ago when you first read the post that serendipitously spawned the expression “gotcha ya”, and marvel at how such an innocent typo survived in the collective memory of the members here for so long.

13

When you celebrate Mariana’s Trench Day and no one knows what the hell you are talking about.
Losers.

14

When you’re compiling a list for work or home and you have to fight the urge to bullet in a “Hi Opal!”

When you’re partner and you search fruitlessly for an answer to a question and then she hands you your laptop and tells you to “Straight Dope it.”

When every moment of your day is catalogued in your brain as though you were posting threads in their appropriate forums on the dope.

15

When you hear a celebrity died and your first thought is “DEATHPOOL.”

16

All of the above, plus wondering what the boards have got to say on a spectacular news story.

17

Whenever somebody around you talks about something that happened in the past, and you interject “for 20 minutes, back in the 60’s”.

18

When your husband asks how your day at work was and you tell him about a cool thread on the Dope.

When you run down cellar to the computer after Lost to see what everyone else thought instead of just discussing it with your husband. And then your husband comes to count on the Dopers’ theories and observations even if he’s not a Doper himself.

Same goes for American Idol.

19

Yeah, baby. This is da winner for me.

20

I ended up taking a fairly flattering picture of myself with my camera phone about a week ago and immediately checked the boards for a DoperPic thread. shakes head

Since there wasn’t an active one, I spent the next several days trying to decide if I should start one before realizing that the picture wasn’t that flattering.

I’d say that’s pretty doperrific.