Sublight said:
There’re at least two of us.
Um…:
:
Lessee, I’m the only Doper who works at MSU. No, wait, that’s not right.
I’m the only Doper who rides her bike to work…no, crap, that’s not it either.
Um, I’m comin’ up blank here, guys.
Outta the way, you slug. 
I’ve driven 284 km/h (176.50 mph) at the end of the straight on the Zandvoort Race Track in a race-trim Ferrari Testarossa. Nyah. 
(Don’t know about average speed though, but as you can tell from the circuit layout, it probably wasn’t 161 MPH by a long shot. But still, top speed counts here, right?)
Three.
And I don’t know my top speed driving. The ticket said 164, but the cop said he was giving me a break to avoid the felony.
I’m probably the only left-handed golfer among dopers. If not, I’ll come up with something else.
I’m the only Doper in my house!
I’m the only thrice married Doper with a divorce and an annulment behind her?
Oh and wishbone, I’ve never posted or read the SDMB while wearing shoes. I don’t even drive in shoes. I’ll fight you for the most bare-foot Doper title
As long as you recognize that I’ve probably got you beat, I’ll let you take the glory on this one, since I do not have an accurate record of my top speed.
A look at the race reocrd for the track, and I realize my error, too, it is only 1.5 miles, not 2, but a look at the track record shows I was just off the pace of 163.633 set by the late Dale Earnhardt. Go me.
Maybe I’m the knife-lovin’est doper. Goes with the title.
Nope! I’m a violinist, too. Although, you might mean the only professional violinist, in which case you might be right. As for your string quartet…any of you wanna join us? Still room for a cello and a viola!
I am the hottest doper!
Here in Tucson, it’s 106 degrees F today.
I’m also the only doper posting from work, when I should be working! Boy, am I evil! I’m sure no-one has ever even thought of doing anything like that before.
I think I may take the cake for the youngest…I don’t quite want to reveal my age yet but if anyone wants to challenge me for it I’ll say.
I’m the most me. A dubious distinction to be sure, but I’m fairly certain I’ve got it locked. Unless my clone is posting. I’ve got to admit, he does make a better me.
I’m the Doper Most Likely to Suggest Napalm as an Answer to a “How Do I…”-Type GQ.
I have to challenge you for that title, MrVisible. Although at the moment it’s 106 here too, what makes my claim more valid is that in my office (and only my office) the air doesn’t work properly so it’s close to 90 in here. Add to that, my car doesn’t have working A/C and my apartment is on the first floor so I can’t walk around naked unless I want to give my neighbours a show (I don’t).
Chicken 
I am the silliest doper but it seems only IRL. A few times I have mentioned to friends that I am noted for being serious on a message board. They had a great laugh at that one. I say exactly what I am thinking which is usually pretty unique (don’t wanna say weird but well, golly gee, guess it probably is).
I’m the only Doper who had her ass grabbed by a WWF wrestler. NO, not Jeff Hardy [sub] dammit [/sub].
I may the only Doper who knew Kurt Cobain.
I think I’m the only Doper who works as a fraud analyst.
damn, no i’m not a pro…yet. ok, we lose that title. i’m curious, though, how long have you been playing? are you going to be a major in college?
you forget, i also live in tucson, so no matter what temperature it gets, neither of us can have that title. we just both have to sweat alot and stick to our car seats. (at least i do, i don’t have AC in my house or my car)
I’ve been playing for only 7 years (I wish my parents had started me when I was three). I give private lessons to students who have been playing for a year. As for a music major…I would love love love love love to be one, but I’d rather be a doctor (I think). I don’t think I’d ever be good enough to make it as a pro violinist.
Continue on with your extreme Doper thread…
I will say that I’m the Doper to have a mother who dresses up in 19th century clothing and gives tours for a living. Also, I’ll go out on a limb here and say that I’m the only Doper to dress up in 19th century clothing and give tours as a volunteer. Any takers?
I’d say that I’m the doper who’s threads seem to fall the fastest.
But, duuuuude! That’s an OVAL. ANYONE can go fast on an oval!
(Just 2 miles off the pace, huh? Wow. Pretty impressive indeed!)
(And yes, my top speed was very officially timed with genuine FIA approved TAG Heuer race timing equipment. My lap time was nothing spectacular, though. Trust me, it takes a LOT more guts to corner fast in a 550 BHP car than to floor it on the straight - which pretty much puts your oval accomplishment in a very good light!)