Huh? Did someone say something?
C’mon! You know we love you LDG!!
Additionally:
-I may be the only doper to have (technically) been in N. Korea!
-I’m fairly certain that I’m the only doper to have received 7 stitches in his thumb as the result of an unhappy interaction with a self-inflated ice-cube! (try explaining THAT in Korean, I dare ya!! )
-I KNOW I’m the only doper who ever almost died trying to retrieve pot-seed laden balloons off a lake in central Maine while frying on acid.
I know you love me? Replying to my posts a little more often might help me realise that, y’know! 
A couple of things:
I’m probably the Doper that’s the most complete antithesis of my job. I do stand-up comedy and improv for a living, yet almost never launch into anything here. I’m more of a flirt here.
I’m the ONLY Doper that looks like John Mellencamp and Mike Meyers had a child.
[sub]I’m gonna be mature enough not to mention the crushes I have on racinchikki and Nocturne[/sub]
Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of any socialist or communist party? If not, then Lucky Charms and I have got you beat. Ten years a member and goin’ strong, baby! Here, check us or our paper out.
Three of us. Well, if we can’t be a string quartet, we can be an itinerant string section! Orchestral mercenaries. Although once I get the theory down and I know my modes, I want to start doing swing jazz improvisation. I’m gonna be like Stephane Grappelli and Joe Venuti, I am!
[sub]Sparky. Yeah, and maybe I’ll poop fully-formed ice cubes.
Blinky. I like jazz music! I think it’s nice.[/sub]
Valkyrie and her sister are CW re-enactors, civilian side. I’ve got a costume as well, and though I haven’t given tours, I did an off-the-cuff fashion show explaining where most of my clothes were likely to have come from.
Valkyrie is right up there with you. I dunno if her second was an annulment or not but since he was nominally a Roman Catholic, it probably figured into the mix somewhere.
Now… what makes me unique?
I’m the only Doper to have earned the state high-school quiz-bowl championship the first year his school played.
I’m probably the only Doper that can make a claim to speaking Basque. Not very well, but better than you lot
I’m the only Doper to have entertained a special guest of honor at a Dopefest in her native tongue.
Ohh! I actually have one!
Ahem:
I am the only Doper to have ever had Crispin “George McFly” Glover ask her to masturbate for him.
(and my sincere sympathies to anyone else here who have been asked by him)
Hmn, let’s see. I was a member of an Anarchist society and I was affiliated with a youthleague of Socialists once, but no 
I do however harbour hopes of getting my CPC membership one day, but for now I’ll have to make do with this cool “People’s Daily” wallet they gave me.
Shall we call it a tie, since I live among a billion commies, or shall we call it a tie to promote equality among the masses (us)?
— G. Raven
p.s. ok, so I lose
Not so, Olentzero! I can claim that too![sup]It’s not true, of course! But I can claim it anyways![/sup]
Umm… it’s late and I can’t think of too much as my brain is soaked with Benadryl.
Wait… anyone else ever see their own skull in living color?
Yes, I suppose. I was only in a 600Hp stock car. Tell you what, I’ll take the stock car record, you take the other one, okay?
Sort of a follow-up to the first thing I posted, I’m likely the only Doper to try out for the Marine Corps Rifle and (or) Pistol Teams. I was one of forty (1 of 40) selected from all Marines, nationwide, to try for the teams. I was so selected two years in a row, too.
This is probably a fairly limited group, too, but I’ve got official Secret clearance. 'Course, that does me no good anymore, as I have no need to know anymore, but still.
Ah, but are you carrying around a thick coat of fur? No? Haha! I win! I’m the hairiest guy I know! That makes me the hottest Doper! Ha! Ha. ha…
Wow… I don’t actually feel like a winner. I’m hot, sweaty and furry… yep, loser is much more like it.
Darn. I’m gonna go eat a popsicle.
I’m gonna lay claim to being the nakedest Doper. Just 2 and a half weeks until the Bare Buns run. Woohoo!
And if that doesn’t work, then I’m definitely the Doper who uses the most sunblock. SPF 45 is my friend.
Well since LDG, obviously cannot claim the title of most ignored doper, I can get that dubious honour back.
(and I may be the only US doper who has a problem remembering to spell like an American. See above for example. or maybe I just like the letter ‘u’
.elpoep yonna ot tsuj sdrawkcab epyt ot repoD ylno eht ma I
I’m the poster with the greatest ratio of posts to OPs.
I’m probably the most apathetic post…
Miss Creant: Ahhh, but by me replying to you, we’re once again even… you’re not getting my title THAT easily, dammit!
I’ve probably gotten the most people to vote for me for a public office of any Doper, as far as I know. If anyone can beat 1003, then I’ll just be the gayest Quebec doper.
I’m probably the only triathlete Doper (which sounds vaguely illicit, I know, but I don’t mean it that way).
I’m the only War of 1812 re-enacting Doper.
I’m the only Doper to have met Bruce Campbell twice in one weekend.
I’m the Doper with the worst headache today.
I’m gonna go for most middle-aged Doper.
I may be the only Doper with a Ph.D. in mathematics, but if so, not by much (Kimstu has a doctorate in the history of mathematics, and there are Dopers with Masters’ degrees in math), and only until Cabbage finishes his doctorate. I don’t think he’s the sort to get stuck at ABD.
Of course, now that I’ve posted this, another Doper mathematician will step forward, and I’ll have to resort to being the only graph theorist. (Big whoop. :rolleyes:)
I might be the most knowledgeable Marx Brothers fan here, but in this crowd, I wouldn’t count on it. I’m pretty sure I’m not the biggest Firesign fan here, as I’ve got plenty of competition from Geobabe, Ukulele Ike, White Lightning, and at least a couple dozen others. IRL, I never run into Firesign fans, but here, all you gotta do is drop a Firesign reference into a thread, and fans come out of the woodwork. For instance, well over a year ago, I wasn’t the first one to start talking about Ralph Spoilsport when Ty started this thread about Ralph Williams. (Hadn’t realized it had been that long until I went searching for it…good thing they’re letting us search two years back!)