When daddy came home, after a long day of work and fighting traffic both ways, did you:
a) behave responsibly (“Hello father! Nice to see you. Welcome home! How was your day?”)
b) get all excited, behave like a fool, jump up and kick daddy square in the nuts! causing him to drop to the ground, clutching his nads, puling and vomiting upon the floor for 15 or 20 minutes.
When you saw daddy on the floor, clutching his crotch and weeping like a little girl, did you:
a) go for help.
b) attempt to render assistance (IE: call 911, distract the doggy so that father could suffer and beg for a quick death in peace without the slobbering and licking from the doggy).
c) sit on the table with your sister snickering and taking bets on when/if daddy would be able to walk again.
When you felt like playing with something, did you
a) find one of the hundreds of cat toys lying around the house
b) chase the other cat around
or
c) go get daddy’s pyjama bottoms off the bed, drag them around the house, and then leave them on top of your food bowl?
My cat drug the manual to my sewing machine (which is apparently only available from Sears; I bet they make me buy a new sewing machine to get one) into his litter box a couple weeks ago. I don’t know why, and I don’t know how. He just did.
It’s a Janome, which apparently in the most mysterious sewing machine on earth. I’ve been looking for a way to get a new manual that doesn’t involve going to Sears and ordering one for more than $20. They are scarce on the ground on the internet.
Not to hijack, but google’s bringing up lots of results but without knowing your model # it’s hard to know if any of those are actually good. I’m assuming you’ve contacted Janome? Also, someone on a sewing message board might have the same model and be able to direct you to a download link or somesuch.
To contribute something to the thread:
Did you try to run under a clipped chain link fence into a cemetery and pop a hunk of skin a’flappin’? On a Saturday when all the vets were closed so we had to drive 50 miles to the nearest emergency vet? Costing about $400? And only a week or so after you went to the vet because you hurt your shoulder after falling out of bed? Costing about $200? Bad dog!
We’d make her get a job but the things she does best are snuggle and bite Tahoe, neither of which are marketable skills, last I checked.
In that link , Libélula (aka Naughty Weasel) is the one with the stitches, Tahoe (her punching bag) is in the thumbnail standing on the back of the couch, and Crivens is the weird looking one in the thumbnail with the skirt. They’re all bad, horrible, terrible dogs, but Libélula is easily twice as evil as the others.
I’m talking about this link, showing a dog watching a half eaten steak in case it jumps down on the floor. They all look terribly neglected and abused.
Ah, sorry, I forgot about that. That’s Tahoe. The good one. The dumb one. Sometimes he stands on our feet if he feels we are taking too long with our food and is worried that we will forget that he is right there and starving.
Crivens, being a greyhound and taller, just rests her head on the table between our plates and shoots beseeching looks back and forth. And if that doesn’t work, she’ll put her head on your thigh and rest some of her weight on it, as if she is about to pass out from hunger.
They are ridiculous. We beat them daily, feed them weekly, make it clear to them that they are nothing but loathsome burdens, and still they misbehave. We don’t know what we are doing wrong.
