Are you fixed?

Are you fixed? Yes, in the Bob Barker kind of way.

I am considering a bit of the ol’ snip snip and was wondering how many of you have gone through a vasectomy or a tubal ligation. I’m not concerned with emotional side-effects, just the physical ones, what it was like, recovery time, etc.

Women- did your hormones go crazy?

Men- is it true what they say about the … ahem … consistency change?

and really, how painful was it?

I had my tubes cauterized a couple of decades ago, and then got spayed (had my ovaries and uterus taken out) about four years ago. For the first operation, my hormones stayed the same. For the second, since my ovaries were gone, I went into menopause. Yeah, my hormones were crazy, but it was worth it.

For the tubal, it really wasn’t all that painful for the procedure itself. I had bad aftercare instructions, though, that gave me some pretty painful complications.

My younger sister warned me that the second night after my hysterectomy would be the worst of my life. She wasn’t kidding. They removed the morphine drip that day, and I really think that I would have done better to have had another night with it in me. However, I survived, and I’m much happier without my uterus to plague me.

I had a vasectomy last year and had no problems with it.

I took my doctors advice and had it done on a Friday so that I could take it easy all weekend. Once the local wore off after the procedure, it was the same dull throbbing ache as if I had been kicked in the nuts really hard one minute ago, all evening long. By the next day, it would only ache when I moved or bumped them, and by the second day it only hurt when I forgot and really jostled them.

As for a consistancy change, I’ve never even heard about it, never mind experienced it. Several friends had it done and I had asked them before doing it myself and they never mentioned anything like that. I haven’t noticed any change, nor has Mrs Stone mentioned anything about it and I think she’d have noticed if anyone had.

Good Luck!

I’ll second this. Friday appt, a bag or two of frozen peas and a couple of days light duty and I was back on my feet. And yeah, it’s JUST like getting smacked in the stones one minute ago, but it lasts for the rest of the day.

I had a tubal ligation Feburary 1. No crazy hormones (no more so than usual, as I was four months post-partum at the time). I was functioning normally the next day.

Hurt like a bitch, but it was abdominal surgery. It’s supposedly very easy for men.

Not the worst case scenario but pretty darn bad…

Mr Biscuithead just had it done two months ago. His doctor never warned him of symptoms of infection. Guess what, he got an infection. One week after the procedure he was at the emergency room with a swollen nut that would make you faint! On the pain scale it was 10+. Because the doc indicated there might be some discomfort after we thought his level of discomfort was normal - in reality it was the onset of infection that woke him up at 2am in extreme pain.

The horrible thing is - after two months, guess what we think he has again. He’s heading back to the doc this morning to get assessed.

And no, the action under the covers has not been the same since the procedure. Not horrible, still very funcitional, but not very robust either.

I had my tubes cauterized as well. I had a couple painful days…but not in the surgery area…it was unbelieveable shoulder pain, which they attributed to the air that they pump into you to be able to move around your abdomen. Evidently it is absorbed into your muscles, causing a lot of pain. It lasted about a day and a half and then I was back in the saddle.

I hear men recover much quicker and their operation is much cheaper.

I have a feeling a lot of women here are kind of grumbling, “why didn’t my husband go through this instead of me?” With the, ‘I hear it is easier/less painful for men’.

You ladies do have a point They don’t have to go digging around as much for a Vasectomy. However, I’m sure you had adequate reasons for getting tubal ligation, right? Or did the pain drive you to chase your husbands around with pruning shears?

Papa Zappa got fixed about 4 years ago. He had a spermatocele removed at the same time (large one, looked like he had “a pair and a spare” if you know what I mean) so it was a bit more involved. Only one incision, though a bit larger than average.

IIRC, he was in some discomfort, but never severe, for a couple of days. Not even “kicked in the nuts a minute ago”. He did have a minor infection set in around the incision - as in, didn’t close up as quickly as it should have, nothing that resulted in any real pain. All in all, a very easy experience.

As it turns out, he was apparently firing on only one barrel - the spermatocele was cause by the fact that things were simply not connected on that side. So he really only had half of a vasectomy, which is a source of much hilarity :smiley:

Things were, um, fully functional within a few days, as I recall it.

Cinco de Mayo, 2000 the party was over for my guys. The procedure was a little unnerving because I could smell burning flesh when they cauterized the ends after snipping. I didn’t take it easy afterward. Doc gave me a very considerate dose of novacaine so when I got home I took advantage of the free time to do a complete gravel change & scrub down on the aquarium. Don’t do that. For a bout a week I felt like I had taken a shot in the pills about 30 seconds ago. I was able to run after my offspring about 10 days afterward without significant discomfort, prior to that I could manage a quick gimp. I could walk normally, however from day one.

Consistency? As in texture? Well I think I could tell a difference. I’m sure overall volume, if measured, would not be noticably less but it sure feels like I’m shooting a smaller calibre with a lighter load if you know what I mean? I definitely noticed a less intense orgasm, which doesn’t bug me too much–I much prefer the activities leading up to the three seconds of spasm anyway.

I was present in the room when my ex husband got snipped. I was a very quick and efficient procedure, I dont think we were there a total of 1 hour.

The only negative was the horrible smell of burning flesh when they cauterized the ends of the snipped tubes.

My fiance is clipped and has been for several years before I met him.

I did not notice a change in any way with the ex or my current. (except for the glorious freedom of not using birth control anymore :smiley: )

Wrong. I’m not grumbling. The point is, it IS easier for men. They don’t even knock you out for it. For women, it’s abdominal surgery and it has a longer healing time. That’s the only thing we are saying.

Mine was effortless. I pretty much could have walked home (although I didn’t, I drove) and I didn’t have to do the “bag of frozen peas” thing. I didn’t notice any change in consistency.

I got a varicocele apparently from the surgery but it’s never given me any problems.

My father had a vasectomy and never had any problems with it, although he said that there can be a fair amount. Since he was a doctor, I took his word for it, but I didn’t bother to ask what those problems might be.

My wife had a tubal ligation. She had it Friday, and was at work Monday. She never noticed any difference.

My vasectomy was preformed by Dr. de Sade. He used the extra rusty and dull tin-snips.

I’ve recounted my tale of woe here many times and you can search the archives to find it. I believe the thread has a wav. file of me screaming in agony embedded in it, so turn your computer speakers down if you open it.

I’m having it done next Thursday, Og help me. I’ve got most of next week off, so I imagine I’ll be enjoying lots of PS2, XBOX, DVDs, and frozen peas.

I keep thinking of the old Far Side cartoon- “I’m going to get TUTORED!”

Both I and my beloved Bluesman have been fixed. His was almost entirely effortless. In and out in an afternoon, and he was moving furniture the next day. No difference at all in functionality.

Mine was done on a Friday, I spent most of that afternoon and evening asleep in bed, took it easy Saturday, and was fully functional Monday. No emotional/hormonal issues that I’ve noticed, though since then my periods have progressively become heavier, but that may just be an aging thing.

Ah, yes, that is one of the things I was wondering about. I’ve heard some talk about this effect as one of the reasons to not undergo the procedure, but from all I’ve heard (here and other sources) the whole business is easier for a man than a woman. I’ve also heard some men talk about how it made them feel less manly, though I’m sure Inigo Montoya did not have this problem, as he is ultimately secure in his manhood, and well, oozing machismo.

I’ve heard horror stories about getting sterilized and then, whoops, here comes a little miracle baby whose uber-sperm or uber-egg managed to somehow slip past the defenses! Any first hand knowledge of this? ::shudder::

Thanks for all the info everyone.

I got the Big V about 11 years ago. Had it done on Friday, spent Saturday moving slowly and that was that.

According to SWMBO, who was in the room with me, the worst part of it for her was listening to the doctor and me swapping really, really bad jokes. I got him laughing so hard at one point that he threatened to stop halfway through the procedure and leave me half-vassed.

My V recovery was a breeze. The actual operation was not.

The pain was incredible and I had a white knuckle grip on the table for the first three minutes. It occured to me but apparently not to the doctor that it takes 5 minutes for the novacaine to take effect; not 30 secs. :eek:

I gotta tell you that when the pain session started I really wanted to bust him in the head and get the hell out but:
1 - He was holding a sharp scalpel
2 - He had that scalpel very near the Bubba-weenie
3 - The bubba pouch was cut open

I was doing OK during the last five minutes but then the doc said, “OK, right side’s done. Now its time for the left side” :eek: :eek:

I figured that he’d do the second half of the procedure with more caution.
Son-of-a-bitch started 30 secs afterwards AGAIN and then gave me a load of lip when I protested. I kept him at bay for a about a minute but its still hurt like hell when he started up again.

So while the operation took 20 minutes and was relatively painless for 15 of those minutes, the other 5 were pure hell.

By the end of the procedure it became very clear to me that this fundy-type doctor was not a fan of doing V ops and was definately not a fan of people who would request the operation. He did the surgery correctly and the recovery was short, but I’m certain that the novacaine incident was punishment for my sins.

I got back at him though. My dermitologist had the office next to the V doc. For three years everytime I went to the dermatologists I would stick my head in the V Doc’s door and yell out “BUTCHER!” and then with an evil grin to the patients in his waiting room I would calmly close the door.