Yesterday I heard an expression that I come across often recently. Someone came into a party and said “Hey, did you hear the good news? Bob and Sue are pregnant!”
My congratuations to Bob and Sue aside, I am really very doubtful that Bob is in fact, pregnant. I imagine this is a way to be inclusive of the fact that Bob is a key part of this equation, but something about the expression doesn’t sit well with me. I can see “Bob and Sue are having a baby” but I’m not sure how I feel about making pregnancy a plural state of affairs.
I don’t have kids myself, but I think if I was to be pregnant, I would like to be acknowledged as the pregnant person. Certainly Mr. Del’s contributions would also be important and could be acknowledged in different ways.
So, have you heard this expression? And what do you think about it? Would/do you yourself use it? Especially for the men out there, does this make you feel more involved in the pregnancy?
Ooh, this is one of my pet peeves. First of all, it sounds cutesy, and I HATE cutesy.
Secondly, if a guy is willing to abstain from alcohol, tobacco, and caffeine for nine months, throw up in the mornings, subject himself to constant poking and prodding from doctors, walk around with a water balloon strapped to his stomach, and go into sympathetic labor, THEN he can say “We’re pregnant.” If he DOESN’T wish to go through all this, he shouldn’t.
I imagine there’s a number of expressions out there that attribute female characteristics to men… I call it the feminization of men. It’s especially prominant in mass media. Take that old Dove soap commercial for instance. You know the one. This long-haired guy is talking about how soft and smooth his skin is, and it shows him acting totally like a girl at times…
Have a look around, and you’re sure to see all kinds of ads that make men appear to have female traits. It’s everywhere, and sometimes its so bad that you can’t even tell the gender…
So I take exception about having female attributes applied to men. It is inappropriate. I think it is a contribution from the radical feminists groups (whom I call Femi-nazis) trying to blur the distinction between men and women. Nowadays, it’s not politically correct to believe that there should be institutions, groups, or clubs dedicated just to men.
So no. If my wife becomes pregnant, it is HER that is pregnant. “We” are not. I don’t get sick, I don’t get the bad back, and I don’t have the cravings. She would.
I have a friend who has had two kids and both times I had to hear throughout each pregnancy “We’re Pregnant!” She made me want to scream, “No, you are the only one that is pregnant!” I wish people would not say it. Besides sounding cutesy it also just sounds plain dumb.
Right. Like those of us in committed relationships who go out at 2 AM to get the cliched chocolate ice cream and pickles, hold your hair back while you throw up (despite how weak our stomachs are), and smile our way through the hormone surges are absolutely not a part of the process. Then we get our fingers broken, our balls squeezed, and post-partum depression. And if you’re lucky, guys, you’ll get a “progressive” OB like we had who gets $3000 for standing behind you saying things like, “you’re doing fine,” or, “now turn the head” while you deliver the baby (like I did).
Before I get this thread sent to the pit, I realize that these things are nothing compared with passing a bowling ball through an orifice meant for a ping-pong ball. I realize that through the miracles of epidurals it can become only barely bearable. But don’t act like we walk through a pregnancy whistling and having fun–we don’t. Easier than you, yes. Without difficulty, no, unless the guy’s a complete and total asshole without any redeeming characteristics at all.
Anyhow, as far as abstaining from alcohol, tobacco, and caffeine, the “Expectant Dad’s Book” (or something to that effect) suggests that a pint of whiskey is a nice thing to have in the “goodie bag” to put in your coffee. Y’all have pain to keep you awake, we have coffee. And for those of us who smoke, whoo-doggies, is there no better time for some nicotine than the stress of seeing the woman you love in intense pain?
I’m not asking for equal treatment here, just recognition of the fact that it ain’t all as easy as you’d like to think for us who love you, care for you, and are there the whole way.
No alcohol … check. (I don’t drink anyway.)
No tobacco … check. (I don’t smoke anyway.)
No caffeine … check. (I don’t like coffee or tea.)
Throwing up in the morning … well, I could stick a finger down my throat if it’ll make you feel better. Check.
Poked and prodded by doctors … hell, I’ve been through worse. Check.
Walking around with a water balloon strapped to my stomach … I’m overweight in the abdomen. My belly already looks like I’m in the Third Trimester. Check.
Going into sympathetic labor … damn! That’s physiologically impossible without a myometrial layer. And since I ain’t got no uterus, I ain’t got no uterine musculature to go with it. How about if I just contract my straining-to-take-a-poop muscles for a few hours?
Silly people, trying to be cute. Hated 'em when I was pregnant.
My husband was happy to say we were expecting. He NEVER claimed to be sharing the experience of being pregnant, or of giving birth. He was there for the birth, and I give him credit. I can’t imagine anything worse than seeing the woman you love in great pain and not being able to fix it, or kill the person causing it, or whatever.
Of course, MY epidural was top notch, I felt just enough to push, with no pain at all once it was set. Can’t wait for the next one.
I’ve never been pregnant, but when I am, there had better be a pregnant guy visible, or I’ll kill him!
Single paranting is the pits. I’ve seen it ruin people.
My husband and I found out that I was pregnant about a month ago, and at the moment, I’d have absolutely no problem with anyone saying, “corvidae and mr. corvidae are pregnant.”
Reasons why:
It is faster to say than “corvidae and mr. corvidae are expecting a baby.”
While I might be the one who is nauseous and exhausted, he’s the one who’s doing everything I’m too tired/queasy to do - like the cooking, shopping, laundry, kitty litter, dishes, etc. Did I mention that he does this and does not complain at all?
He very politely listens to me bitch and hasn’t told me to shut up yet
Yes, it does sound cutesy, but as long as he’s doing what he can to support me and free up my time for gestating, he’s doing his part as far as I’m concerned.
Well, like the other posters have said, if my hubby was willing to share in the weight gain, stretch marks, nausea, labor and delivery, then yes, he could say that WE were pregnant. But he didn’t, so WE weren’t, but I was ;).
Seriously, it irritates me. Nothing like someone else trying to horn in on the attention.
I definitely appreciate the points made by some folks that the husband does quite a bit of work and makes many valuable contributions to the whole pregnancy experience. I guess I just object to the “we’re pregnant” because it strikes me as sloppy language. If Mr. Del broke his leg, I would (I hope) cheerfully pick up the extra chores and try to be as sympathetic and helpful as possible, but I wouldn’t tell people that we weren’t joining them for volleyball because “we broke our leg.”
Thanks for all the input. I’ll continue to inwardly cringe when I hear that phrase, but at least I know there are others who think the same thing.
Then again, if you were an integral part in the leg-breaking, that might be different, huh? Bad analogy, simply because we males are part of the process, if not the carriers of the end product. “We can’t make it because, well, during sex I wanted to try something and we broke Mr. Del’s leg.” Closer to the way it is?
Then again, if you were an integral part in the leg-breaking, that might be different, huh? Bad analogy, simply because we males are part of the process, if not the carriers of the end product. “We can’t make it because, well, during sex I wanted to try something and we broke Mr. Del’s leg.” Closer to the way it is? **
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LOL thank you for pointing out the error in my analogy in a truly hysterical way! If that were to happen, I doubt I would have the nerve to confess it at all. So, I could accept “We got Sue pregnant,” which I think matches “we broke Mr. Del’s leg” but I’m still not sold on “we’re pregnant.”
Have you asked him? Why must you assume that they aren’t BOTH pregnant? Maybe Bob’s a hermaphrodite. Maybe Bob had an operation allowing him to become pregnant. Maybe they’re siamese twins (of different sexes). Maybe it’s really Bobbie Sue who’s pregnant. Maybe Bob’s really a girl and they’re both getting artificially inseminated.
There are a thousand and one reasons why ol’ Bobby could be preggers, delphica, and yet you just go on and assume that he (or she) couldn’t possibly be. I thought we were trying to fight ignorance here! Sheesh!
You are absolutely right about the kitty litter, though from what the vet told me, our guys are pretty low risk for toxoplasmosis, being strictly indoor cats and all. Not that we were willing to take that risk, though.
For the record, Mr. c is a great guy! I’m hoping that the critter takes after him.
