We’d have more luck playing pickup sticks with our butt-cheeks than we will getting a flight out of here before daybreak
Larry Bird doesn’t do as much ball handling in one night as you do in an hour.
They’re filled with helium so they’re very light.
You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I’m an easy target. Yeah, I talk too much. I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you, but I don’t like to hurt people’s feelings. You can say what you like about me – I’m not changing. Me…I like me. My wife likes me. My customers like me. 'Cause with me, I’m the real article. What you see is what you get.
I’ve never seen a guy get picked up by his testicles before.
Ah, he’s drunk. Thank you! Thank you!
This is one of my favorite movie speeches of all time.
In play: See that Bears game last week? Yeah, Hell of a game. Hell of a game.
“This is your Walter Cronkite Moon Ring”
You’re going the wrong way!!!
He seems to have a devil for a chauffer (while squeezing between two semi’s, anyway).
“Uh no, I don’t. I have…two dollars… and a Casio”
The way he runs that watch over his forearm like a Price is Right model cracks me up every time