Are you searching for compliments or what?

The BBQ Pit
1

Ahhh…So I’m sitting down at the computer, ready to read some good rants. I have prepped myself for the hateful words and the inevitable arguments. I click on the subject of a thread, eagerly awaiting the joy I get from reading about other people’s problems. The thread finally opens, and the first sentence I read is, “This is my first rant…”

What do you wish to achieve by telling me this? Shall I send you a congratulations card? Should I correct your spelling and grammar and give you pointers on how to write a better rant? If I don’t agree with what you said, should I change my opinion just because this is your first Pit thread and you don’t want too mean of a response?

When writing a rant, chances are you’re going to be treated the same way as any other Doper would be, no matter how many Pit threads you have written (Unless you’re jarbaby, where people often hijack in her threads to compliment her way with words).

Don’t tell me that this is your first rant. I can assure you I don’t care. Go ahead and write about whatever the hell pissed you off. That’s the part we’re all anxious to get to.

2

This is your first pit rant, isn’t it.

3

Damnit, FUB, here I was all ready to add an ‘Amen!’ to a rant about stupid idiots who fish for compliments like their supper depends on it, and I find this pointless blither blather about "So this is my first rant-"ers.

I absolutely HATE it when people fish for compliments. It is my ill-luck in life that one of my close friends always has her line in the water. What makes it worse, when I refuse to take the bait (which I always do) she insults me. Standard dialogue:

Friend: Gosh, I feel so fat in this outfit, even though I’ve lost all this weight.

Me: [eyes glaze over, pointedly look elsewhere, ignore her, silence]

Friend: Well, I guess I’m just used to looking in the mirror and seeing someone who looks as fat as you…

Her brilliance lies in the fact that it isn’t said outright maliciously, but conversationally, just like she’s commenting on my shoes or my hairstyle. She doesn’t seem to remember a few years ago, when the scales were tipped (mightily, I might add) in the other direction, and I had the good sense and tact NOT to mention it.

But anyway, I digress. People who fish for compliments are annoying and should be made highly illegal. I always have to repress the urge to walk away in the middle of the conversation whenever someone starts fishing, but now that I think about it, I may start repressing that urge.

Anyway, FireUnderpantsBoob. I’m sorry to hijack your thread - it is probably bad Pit etiquette, but this is my first response to a Pit thread, so I may not have done it right.

4

It’s just a nice sentiment. Plus, it prompts people to provide a scoring for the rant and good advice for future rants.

For example, I give your OP a 6.5. It lacked any sort of real finesse, humor, and punch that a good rant needs. It lacked heart, really. However, you did manage to remain relatively concise, and an adequately developed sense of sarcasm. Plus, I really liked how you opened, with the whole “I wanna see some hatefulness FLY off my screen!” routine.

However, points were deducted for your lack of “goat-felcher” or “mung-bait” references. :smiley:

5

I gotta agree with FireUnderpantsBoobs here, and it’s not just because I find her name strangely exciting.

“This is my first Pit rant.” So fucking what? It doesn’t mean that this is the first time you’ve gotten pissed off, does it? You surely know how to articulate your distress, don’t you? Or are you so unsure of yourself that you don’t know if your anger will measure up in some way? If you gotta rant, then fucking RANT! Don’t apologise in advance for a sucky OP. Pointing out your rant’s failings in advance does not help your case. Plenty of other posters will gleefully do that for you. It just takes all the steam out of what might be a good fire-breathing shit-storm.

6

I think it’s just a way of saying, “Please excuse any major blunders on my part.”

7

Hmm, and I always thought that
“This is my first rant…”

was SDMB code-speak for

“When I look at badly modified pictures of Regis Philben fucking Estelle Getty up the ass and performing a reach-around plugjob with an eggplant, I like to masturbate with cooled Ramen noodle broth.”

In fact, I still do think that. No matter what anyone says.

8

6.5 hell–more like 0.5. It coulda gone in MPSIMS.

But I’ll forgive the OP if it’s his or her first rant.

9

Does my rant suck so much because it lacks cuss words? Because I didn’t call anyone horrible names? Just because this is the Pit doesn’t mean I have to write “fuck” every other word (although it is fun to read!). Also, this isn’t something that pisses me off to the point where all I can do is swear; I just felt something needed to be said.

Anyway, the main reason I replied…

Kamandi, may I have this for my new sig? :slight_smile:

10

Actually, it sucks because it’s a silly thing to rant about. But that doesn’t stop anyone else, so there’s no reason it should stop you.

I take it from your response to Kamandi that you are in fact a her, so I apologize for the “his or her” in my previous post. (I personally would have thought FireUnderpantsBoobs was some guy listing his personal turn-ons…though I wouldn’t have tried to guess what order they were in.)

11

Oh, so that’s why no one’s ever scored my rants!

[fishing for compliments] At least I can be proud of the fact that Lynn once had to change my thread title. She was scared of it![/fishing]

12

I never saw “This is my first rant” as a fishing expedition for compliments, more of a “I am a neophyte and I don’t expect this to measure up to the experienced ranters, cut me some slack and I promise to try to learn from my mistakes and improve in the future.”

Of course I could be goat felching wrong.

13

Imagine a big, tough-ass biker sitting in a bar. He’s covered in tattoos - arms, legs, back, chest, belly, neck, etc. You ask him about his tattoos. He points to the little heart on his left arm with “Mom” written on it.

He says: “This was my first tattoo.”

Hint hint.

It takes skill to write a good rant. If you think a good Pit post is just a string of “shit-fuck-asshole-felch-testicle-goat-Serlin”, then you’re an idiot.

14

I’d just like to hijack this rant and compliment your way with words :smiley:

Actually. Underpants is on my top ten “funniest words of all time” list…right under weasels. I love to say underpants…underpants…underpants underpants.

in fact…Underpants Weasel, while too similar to Underpants Gnome to work, would in fact be a good band name.

jarbaby

15

Okay, now I’m confused. I always thought it meant what Revedge outlines above. But now it means I’m fishing for compliments. I need a solution soon, people, 'cos I’m bound to have a Pit thread before I hit 500…

[sub]Is this the part where I duck & run?[/sub]

16

Madam, I would be honored.
As for the OP, I still don’t see the necessity for the “…my first Pit thread…” disclaimer. Nobody says “this is my second Pit thread - how’m I doing so far?” I don’t often drop into GD, do people say “this is my first GD thread”? Why announce in the Pit that you’re fresh meat? That’s kind of like rubbing yourself with steak tartar and jumping into a piranha tank.

[sub]mmmm, rubbing myself with steak tartar…

17

This is my 753th observation in the Pit, notice I didn’t say rant. Bad words are not necessary, I’ve used less than probably 5 untypeable bad words on the board. I still have a problem telling who is male and who is female. The only one I’m sure about is clog boy and Diane. I stopped rating the threads when most of them started falling below a 5.

18

Then take note of my sig.

19

If someone tells me that this is his/her first rant, then I’m going to expect it to be bad, and my opinions will be thus formed. As bad as it may sound, I will then recognize the poster for not writing very well in later threads. Most of this is probably my fault. I do, however, remember a good piece of advice my English teacher gave me: “Never start out with a negative statement about yourself, because the reader immediately loses interest.” If you say, “this is my first rant,” then you’re telling the reader to expect that the rest of the post is badly written. I give the person the benefit of the doubt - I assume that he/she is an experienced Doper and I expect quality, which is usually what I get. However, if I’m told that what I’m about to read might not be very well written, I’m probably not going to read any further.

20

Yes! :smiley: