Just wondering - seems like a lot of my mommy friends complain that their mothers don’t take an interest in the grandkids. My MIL doesn’t really make any effort, but that’s perfectly fine as she is truly certifiably crazy and plenty evil, so I don’t want her around. The rest of our families are great most of the time.
How do you feel about your parents as grandparents?
Or, if you’re a grandparent, are you close to your grandkids? Do your children expect too much?
My parents are exactly the opposite. They are great grandparents to my sister’s kids - very involved, always volunteering to babysit and take the kids to the park, etc. But they are way too involved - my mom is constantly criticizing my sister on her parenting style. So much so, in fact, that my sister and her husband (and the grandkids, of course) moved out of the country to get away from it. They’re planning to move back next year, but not to the same state as my parents.
My parents are great. But they are nice happy sane people in general, very relaxed, so that we actually wanted to move here to be close to them. They live nearby. We don’t really see as much of them as we’d like, because they both work full-time, so it’s really only once a week or so. I take my daughters to the library ‘to see grandma,’ since she works there. (Oddly, so do I sometimes, and it’s weird having your mother as a co-worker. What do you call her in front of other people in a professional setting? They all know she’s your mom.)
Anyway they hardly ever babysit, they’re too busy. I’m a little envious of my friends whose mothers are always volunteering to take the kids, because that’s rare for me.
My in-laws are pretty good; they adore our kids and don’t tell us what to do. They’re somewhat annoying in many other ways, and give our kids (and us) too much junk we don’t want, and we actually can’t visit them in their home because it’s too messy, but they’re fine overall and I’m grateful to have them when I hear others’ horror stories.
Two of our grandchildren belong to our daughter, who died. We do what we can for them, but there isn’t the same contact that there was when she was alive.
Two are our oldest son’s children and they live 800 miles away in Houston, TX. We have good relations but they are closer to his wife’s parents.
We resently became the guardians of our youngest daughter’s two children (boy -5, girl = 1). At our age it really isn’t easy, but rewarding at the same time.
So I’d say that it is a more complicated question than “yes, we are good grandparents.”
That should be “recently” and if it was one of those slips it is because she has not been the most stellar mom.
We live near all four of our parents. Each is different.
My mom is mostly interested in her grandsons (my brothers kids) so my two girls are not offered the same amount of attention as the boys. I should be offended by this, but my mom can be difficult, so I see it as a blessing to a certain extent. But she also takes them out on shopping sprees and to Japanese restaurants and both girls just love her.
My dad is an excellent grandfather. He makes a point of taking at least one of the grandkids out for dinner and a trip to the bookstore every week. So once a month, my kids get to spend some quality time with him. I plan to pattern my grandfatherly behavior after my dad.
Her mom is a bit self-centered. Even when my wife was growing up, she didn’t take a very active role in their day-to-day lives, and she hasn’t changed a whole lot. Occasionally though, she’ll act differently and spend the whole day with one or both of them, cooking or shopping or whatever.
Her dad is pretty good. He comes by on weekend mornings with donuts or some other treat for the girls, and he tries to spend time with them, but it’s not always possible.