Tools. Most men I know-- my dad, step dad, uncles, etc.-- know exactly where their tools are at all times. Before you can get the second syllable of “hammer” out, they’ll have one in your hand. If someone within a 20 mile radius just *thinks *the word “screwdriver,” they’ll ask “flat head or Phillips?” Upon demand, they can give a complete inventory, alphabetic, of their entire tool box.
Me? It just took me 20 minutes to *not *find a flat head screwdriver. Tore my house up. I now figure they’re in the garage, but it’s too cold to go look. So I used a butter knife.
I have failed to be a man today. How have you failed to be an adult?
Just sent my T4 to my wife (The T4 is the Canadian income tax summary sheet, necessary for your annual tax return).
Before I met her, I’d never actually filed my taxes. Probably forfeited a few hundred dollars in refunds. She filed the previous 10 years of returns, received a series of cheques totalling about $7,000, and I spent the money on home renos in anticipation of her moving in.
All worked out in the end, but I am a total child when it comes to tax returns.
Excuse me, you’re being too hard on yourself. YOU completed THE JOB. Even better, you adapted successfully to complete the task. Celebrate your man-ness!
I can’t balance a checkbook. Thankfully, online banking came along and made checkbook balancing unnecessary.
I don’t know how the whole cellphone plans, contracts, roving, data, etc., etc. thing works. My husband takes care of it and it’s all just gibberish to me.
I can ‘adult’ pretty well if I choose to. But often I choose not to, letting the Mrs. do it.
Except for sewing/mending clothes. Just can’t do it.
My pants crotch tore once, and I threw in some mattress sutures with 4.0 chromic gut, which held the pants together for the day. But the damn pants just never healed up properly!
The Mrs. thinks it’s weird that I can sew up people quite nicely but am hopeless with repairing clothing.
Responsible eating choices. I just had lunch from a place called Astro Doughnuts and Fried Chicken. I should not be allowed to make my own food choices.
Yeah, my wife handles all the cell phone plans. It’s sometimes embarrassing when people ask me what service I’m using and I just mumble.
I actually just looked at my phone and it’s T mobile. So now I know.
Same thing with the insurance, and the mortgage and the bills. She just handles all of it. I just have to go to work to make the money and she figures out how to spend it.
I am able to cook dinner, clean out the gutters, help the kids with homework, fix the toilet, and find a screwdriver, so I’ve got that going for me.
I am directionally dyslexic, to the point my husband calls those U-turns you make when you realize you’ve missed your turn or you’re going the wrong way (ivylass)turns.
I have lost my car in the parking lot more than once. Someone can tell me to turn left and I will turn right.
It’s an orientation thing, I believe. If I make a point to stick in my mind where I parked the car I’m okay, but usually I’m trying to remember what I need to pick up.
He’s also better at packing than I am. You should see when we go to BJ’s and I load up the cart…invariably he sighs and has me hold stuff while he rearranges things.
Otherwise, don’t sweat it. I was a cellphone salesman in my University days, and you nearly need a law degree to get the terms of the contract correct. A lot of times the phone company themselves get it wrong (at least in Canada).
Half of my job was to answer hypotheticals. “What happens when I’m in a different area code from my home, but calling locally within that area code? Is it roaming? Long distance? Both?”
“I have my work phone forwarded to my cell, but my work phone is in the next area code over. What happens when I receive these forwards?”
This is me. I used to be heavily involved in the family budget but I ran into so many disagreements with my wife that I found it much easier to just let her deal with it.
I have almost no idea what I am doing when I wash clothes. I put the clothes in the machine, turn it on, and take it out when the cycle is finished. I have no idea what the different settings mean or what types of clothes need which setting. On the other hand, I have completely disassembled and reassembled my washing machine to perform repairs… So… Yeah.
I don’t adult when it comes to yard work. Yes, chose to own instead of rent. Yes, I insisted on at least an acre of land because I need my elbow room. Yes, I have a 4WD lawn tractor, several trimmers (gas and electric), tillers (small and large), hedge clippers (manual, electric and gas), etc.
It is precisely because of all of the above that I know, if I ignore it long enough, all yard work will spontaneously resolve. One day. Hopefully soon.
