That’s about the best way I can phrase this. How does everyone learn to do all the things that are required in order to become a functioning adult in today’s world? Like finding good health insurance, securing a place to live, etc?
Most people learn from those who already did it. And by making mistakes and learning from them.
Unfortunately my parents (well meaning as they are) handled all that for me and I never learned. Might have something to do with me having aspergers and them seeing me as vulnerable.
Sleep with someone other than your wife?
Verbing weirds life.
You are interacting with the answer right here. No offense, but every answer to routine “adulting” is free 24/7. For example, when I wanted to buy my first house (pre-internet), I talked to people who had successfully purchased real estate (older friends and family) but, ultimately, I went to the library and checked out 2-3 books on how to buy a house.
You don’t have to do that. There are thousands of sites on the internet that help you to do that very thing.
Your question should have been “How did people used to do adulting before the internet?”
The truth is adults don’t even really know how to adult. We just get better at faking it.
Although you can learn some of that stuff before you are actually an adult , there’s plenty that you can’t learn until you are an adult. No 16 year old is looking for health insurance and damn few are looking for an apartment. And the truth is, you might not need to learn all of it. Take health insurance, for example. I am 54 years old and I have never needed to figure out how to find good health insurance. Because literally every job I have had since college provided insurance. At some jobs, I had to choose a plan from among a selection - but I couldn’t really choose “wrongly” as they were all good and provided roughly the same benefits.
QFT.
We learn because we don’t have a choice. It’s the same reason most of us know anything about computers: at some point, things broke, and we had to troubleshoot.
I legally emancipated at 17, and it became immediately evident that I needed to insure my vehicle and find health insurance, among other things. It really comes down to going into wherever building and saying, ‘‘Hi, I need XYZ and I don’t know what I’m doing. Help.’’
That’s what they’re there for.
Now age 34, still routinely admitting to people I don’t know what I’m doing so that they will help me figure out whatever thing. The internet absolutely makes a difference. For example, you can now figure out all the documentation needed to renew a driver’s license or register a car without having to set foot in an office. In many cases you can do the whole thing online.
I think he asked how to become an adult, not how to become a cadaver? :eek:
I found good health insurance by discovering that I already had it by virtue of the country I live in. I found a place to live by buying a house. Figured I needed to live somewhere, so I bought a place to live in. Turns out, this stuff is not complicated. What are you really asking, and how old are you?
Google?
Since there is no singe factual answer possible, let’s adjourn to IMHO from General Questions.
samclem, moderator.
You make the same mistakes the rest of us made, and gradually learn from them.
How soon are you likely to find yourself living independently and having to rely on supporting yourself without assistance from parents or other resources?
If your circumstances are about to change, it’s best to prioritize - first things first, etc…
Well, I’m glad you asked. I’m 46 and I want to know.
Pay the bills. Seriously. You are an adult when you pay the bills. The only difference I’ve ever seen between children and adults is that adults pay the bills.
To pay the bills you have to get a job. Very adult of you. And pay the bills instead of spending money foolishly. More adult of you. And then buy the things you need. Adult. Then you buy non-essentials. And keep the job by going to work, doing the work, and not getting arrested. Adult.
That’s it. No matter when else you do, you’re an adult.
Googs it.
Plus move slowly. I think that’s a good key. Don’t do too much too fast. Obviously pay your bills, but don’t think you have to immediaely buy a house, a car, a premium insurance plan, an investment portfolio and a living will right off the bat.
Find a decent place to live and just chill there a while. Meanwhile, get insurance through work and base it on how often you get sick. Then just slowly upgrade things if need be.
And, of course, when in doubt, Googs it.
That’s how I was raised, and I acknowledge that my experience was quite a bit different from most, but when I was seventeen, working full time, going to school, paying the bills, I was not an adult. I thought I was, but I wasn’t, which is only obvious in retrospect. I was doing adult things but I was still very much a child, and the impact of that experience has endured for decades; a part of me got ‘‘stuck’’ there, and I think I might forever feel like I’m a child doing adult things.
I would say paying the bills is a pretty damned important part of being an adult, but there’s more to it than that. There’s an emotional maturity that only happens with time, if it happens at all.