Parents! Do you worry that Satan might sneak into your children’s bedrooms at night and steal their souls? Are your kids afraid of Beelzebub under the bed? Scared that the anti-Christ’s behind that closet door?
Well, fear no more! Now your precious offspring can be girded for righteous battle against the Powers of Darkness! Yes! For just $39.95 plus shipping, now you can protect them with Armor of God PJs[sup]TM[/sup]!
It’s not fair… the kids nowadays get all the good stuff!
Really-those things are cool-I want a pair!
Just goes to show: there’s marketing for EVERY demographic!
Damn. Look at the sizes. After about age 8, you’re on your own to battle Beelzebub.
I saw these linked on Boing Boing, and was really excited. And then I realized they were not about Armor of God, the 1987 Jackie Chan vehicle cum Indiana Jones ripoff, but some crappy Bible thing.
Talk about a letdown.
Sew yourself a set. It looks easy. I know I could do it, and I don’t own a machine.
Ooh, I could go to Jo Anns and make Armor Of Satan adult-size pajamas. Let’s see hats of damnation (with plush horns), pillow of apostasy, shirt of lies, special cut outs of lust.
Armor Of Satan pajamas, there’ll be a hot time in the old town tonight!
The Armor of God products are OK in their way but I have never been entirely satisfied with God’s customer service.
If you can satisfy me that Satan’s customer service department is more efficient than its celestial equivalent then you can have my business.
Not surprising when you realize the service manager is the Angel Moroni.
I used to sleep in my Jockey shorts when I was a kid. Still do. So far so good, no horse jockeys have attacked me yet!
I was hoping for something more flannel, with an all over field of images from the Sistine Chapel. Now, that I would wear.
These look like bad Halloween costumes (devil’s holiday, curse me for even mentioning it). In fact, they are bad Halloween costumes–what’s with the head-dress?
I’ll go back to scubs, thankyouverymuch. Not a cross in sight, and no monsters so far.
(and what is with validating the whole boogie man in the dark scenario? Way to make odd kids, woman maker of armor of god…)
Sent this link to a buddy. He came back with, “It would be fun shagging in those PJs and you know it! Preferably somewhere really dirty too…”
I replied, “Okay, you’re right, it would be fun. For the sacrilege factor if nothing else. May god shield your eyes from the mighty blast of my jizz.”
I am so going to hell.
Personally my recommendation for scared children would be a spray bottle filled with water and a drop of perfume (or peppermint oil or whatever) with a computer printed label that says “Satan Spray” or “Monster Spray” to keep next to the bed as a weapon against the forces of evil. That would give them the same sense of protection without the possibility of suffocating them like that head-dress thing.
Reading the bit that says “As they dress in the mornings, they should replace them with the spiritual armor of God to protect them in their daily activities”, it looks like this is the phenomenon I described here.
I was wondering what to get those nice Flanders’ children for Christmas, this year…
Hmmm…I wonder what the Sacred Underwear people of the mormon faith would feel about that. You’d better talk to a patent lawyer! 