Arrgh! I *hate* the bus but I WILL win this bet!!!

In an effort to not put wear and tear on the car we plan on trading in, on the days Mr. Tech can’t pick me up I’ve been taking the bus home a few times a week. I’ve got such a major rant:

  1. Where the fark is the JuanitaTech bus? Doesn’t the MTA know what time I leave work? Why isn’t a bus (one of those new ones, not the creaky old ones) waiting for me when I go outside?
  2. When I get on the bus and it’s crowded, why doesn’t anyone give up his or her seat for me? People should be fighting in the aisles to offer me a seat, dammit!
  3. Why is everyone touching me? Don’t touch me. Do NOT touch me. Hey, you’re touching me! Don’t do that!!! Respect my personal bubble; it extends three feet around me at all times.
  4. Don’t talk to me. Don’t you know who I am? Why would I talk to you? You’re on the bus for cripe’s sake.
  5. Turn down your farking music. I can hear it over my music and I’m wearing headphones. Your music sucks anyway.
  6. Don’t you see you can’t fit in that seat? Why would you attempt to >squeeze< into a seat into which you clearly cannot fit? When this happens, and you’re sitting next to me, you’re touching me. You’re oozing onto me and that is SO not cool!
  7. Take a shower. No, really, you won’t melt. You stink. You reek. I can smell you and you don’t smell very nice.
  8. Stop dousing yourself in perfume. You’re making me sneeze. I don’t like to sneeze. Furthermore, your perfume stinks. Perfume should not be purchased by the gallon at Wal*Mart, you know.
  9. Why does the bus make stops in between picking me up and dropping me off? When bus driver does this it causes me to be on the bus way longer than is necessary. I don’t care about those other people. There’s another bus behind this one. They can get on that one.
  10. Why doesn’t the bus stop directly at my house? Well, OK, it doesn’t have to turn into my court, but it certainly can let me off at the beginning of my court, right?

On the days Mr. Tech couldn’t pick me up from work, I initially took a cab home. When hubby found out about this, he laughed at me. Laughed!! He called me spoiled and had the nerve to suggest I wouldn’t last a minute on the bus. I told him I have no problem taking the bus home I just prefer the comfort (ha!) of a cab. He bet me I couldn’t take the bus for a month. Assclown.
[sub]To prevent whooshing, please ignore numbers 1, 2, 4, 9 and 10.[sub]

That sounds like my daily subway commute, about 60 minutes or so each way. I do so love days (like today) where I can work from home.

And I’m not ignoring 1, 2, 4, 9 & 10, as they are some of the most important items, especially 1 and 4 (and I’ll include subway preachers who shout in my ear when I’m trying to study. When I’m emperor, not only will killing such people be justifiable, but it will be rewarded).

I didn’t realize that OCTA had diversified to serve Baltimore. 1, 2, 9, and 10; as D_Odds points out ARE the areas where the line fails in its mission (I don’t include #4, because that’s a failing of the other riders).

How are you finding their performance as far as punctuality is concerned? Here, the bus line seems to have entered into an unholy agreement with the street maintenance schedulers to sunchronize their areas and hours of operation so as to cause me the most inconvenience.

D_Odds, you’ll make a fine, fine emperor.

kaylasdad, I believe the only parts of the published ‘schedule’ the MTA buses adhere to are AM and PM.

Wow! You think your bus drivers could teach that skill to the Queens bus drivers. I believe the schedule currently says any time we damn well please.

What is the wager?

No wager, really, but he’ll be all cocky so it’s in my best interest to win this bet.

You should know I’ll be taking the bus home this evening since something came up and I had to work late® this evening.

No, no, no. Costco. :smiley: