After another horrid ride with inconsiderate people and two little old ladies waiting for a bus and you just know they ain’t gonna know how to ride it. I thought I’d go for some rules
Step to the back. I know there is a racial stigma attached but I don’t care. Move yourself there. Don’t oh go around me.
If a seat become vacant SOMEONE sit in it. Too often a seat is empty as everyone is waiting for someone else to sit. Thus your wasting space.
Have your change ready. I am sick of people yacking about how late this bus is and then when it comes ONLY THEN, do they start to get their money or farecards out.
If your big and fat and sitting down move next to the window. I hate the big people (and I mean big ones not mildly fat)) who sit on the aisle seat and then they effectively take up two seats. As if they were sitting by window on a two seat chair they would be taking up 3/4 of it but the next person could sit and have hit feet hang over and wrap them under away from the aisle.
If you need to carry that much crap stay home. I hate the folk with a purse, a backpack, a briefcase AND one of those plastic lunch boxes. Jeez my folks left for America with less.
Don’t argue with the bus driver. 99% of the time he knows where he’s driving. He don’t need tips from you.
Keep your preaching to yourself. I don’t need to hear how GOD saved you, nor do I want to buy your kids Girlscout Cookies.
And finally
IF THERE are 50 EMPTY SEATS on the bus DON’T SIT NEXT TO ME. If it’s crowed fine but I don’t want no one up against me if the bus is empty
When you are standing at the corner waiting for the bus, and you see that the bus has stopped just a few cars back from the intersection, walk the twenty-five god-damned feet and get on the bus while every one is stopped for the red light. Do not let the light turn green and then have the bus inch forward and stop again for your stupid ass.
Screaming children suck. Might I suggest a ball gag?
…Or you can buy a car. Unless of course, you’re too poor and on food stamps or something…
(Note: Though this is meant as an attempt to be somewhat funny, a reminder of the “you’re so poor” jokes of my elementary school days. I hate having to put a disclaimer on this, because it makes it less funny. If, however, you are reading this disclaimer and thinking, “Well, that’s good then! If he wasn’t kidding, I would have to flame him for being insensitive to the poor in this country,” then it is people like YOU who make me ruin perfectly good jokes with fucking disclaimers! Lick my bag, PC fucker!)
I HAVE BEEN SMOKE-FREE FOR:
Five days, 18 hours, 51 minutes and 38 seconds.
231 cigarettes not smoked, saving $28.93.
Life saved: 19 hours, 15 minutes.
I can’t believe you would be so inconsiderate to the plights of the poor, Satan.
And to the OP, let me add:
Turn down your goddamn walkman. If I’m sitting five seats away from you and I can name the artist and song, you’re playing it too loud. Not everyone wants to hear it.
If I’m in the window seat, and you’re sitting next to me, and you see that I have to get off, for the love of God stand up to let me out. I hate having to walk by you with my ass in your face as much as you hate having my ass in your face, so why don’t you just get up for two fucking seconds, eh?
The empty seats in the back aren’t reserved for Rosa fucking Parks. You don’t have to stand. You can sit there too, even though you’re white. If not, I’m going to stumble past you and sit there myself.
If you are pushing a baby carriage or carrying a suitcase or something large, sit in the back. Don’t make everyone else push their way past your crap, even if it’s a kid.
That’s all I can think of right now. I’m sure I’ll come up with more after my bus ride tomorrow.
Those seats near the front are “reserved” for the elderly and otherwise impaired. It’s fine to sit there when there are plenty of seats available, it’s fine to sit there when all the older and/or impaired people are also seated, but dammit, if grandma with a cane hobbles on the bus, get your lazy ass up and give her the seat. (So many times I saw able-bodied, young people stay seated, particularly in those front seats, while grandma swayed and struggled to stay standing.) I always gave my seat up in such circimstances, and some would say I was raised by wolves.
This is a bit off-topic, but I remember once being on a Greyhound bus, going from Denver to L.A. I had some woman sit next to me who HAD to carry this big, HUGE frigging basket on her lap. An empty, wicker basket. She just wouldn’t let it out of her sight. And it was in my way - I was in the window seat, cramped up against her and her damned frigging wicker basket. I tried to tell her to move it, to stash it with the other luggage on the bus. But she just smiled, apparently not understanding English.
But I got back at her…oh yes siree. All the way from Denver to LA I drank lots and lots of water. (I’m big on water anyway.) Had to go to the bathroom like every frigging hour. So every hour I had her get up with her frigging basket to let me get to the bathroom. I could tell it was really annoying to her after a while. Poor dear.
Please stop crowding the doors. No one is going to get on any faster if you shove them up the bus steps (or into the train) Also its nice to let people off first things move a little smoother that way. (I’ve gotten shoved around so much on the trains and buses and I’m 17 and I hate it imagine all the older people)
If your only going one stop on the trains or buses why do you shove your way to a seat then shove your way off the bus/train? Someone else probably needs the seat more and its not like your going to be on that long! Its even more anoying at rush hour when the trains are so packed your lucky if you can get a seat. A half dozen people dislike getting off so your lazy butt can sit for two seconds one way.
Move to the back please! Its not a bad thing and more people can get on that way. I’ve stood freezing in the winter when half-full busses drove by because the drivers were tricked as to how many people were on cuz everyone stayed near the front… there was room at the back for people.
Ugh if I think of anymore I’ll be back… I have no vehicle so I have to rely on the hell that is public transit.
Never run from anything immortal, it attracts their attention.
In regards to buses, I don’t want to belabor a point. But there are two damn doors. The one in the back is not for decoration. Why these people have to walk the length of the bus and exit out the front while I’m trying to get on, is beyond me.
Second, If you’re stop is next, stand up and get near the door. This point applies to subways too. This would be helpful so that when your stop comes, you don’t jump up like you’ve got Satan in your pants and force your way to the door, screaming “Getting Off.” I know you’re getting off. You kneed me in the groin as you were preparing.
Finally, on inter-state bus trips, no exotic foods. The aroma of jerk chicken for 5 freaking hours, or a full meal of mashed potatoes and gravy does not need to be consumed right next to my seat. That’s why the bus stops and lets people off.
Okay, I’m done. Thanks.
TIME ELAPSED SINCE I QUIT SMOKING:
One week, 22 hours, 2 minutes and 21 seconds.
316 cigarettes not smoked, saving $39.59.
Life saved: 1 day, 2 hours, 20 minutes.
I think you’re probably referring to that Outkast song. It’s called “Rosa Parks” oddly enough. Fairly controversial last year, since Ms. Parks and her lawyers didn’t appreciate the reference.
Well, here in Pittsburgh (motto: mass transit? what mass transit?), we have a bizzare rule wherein, on outbound buses, you pay as you exit the bus (not as you board). So everyone must exit through the front doors. Since everyone must also board through the front doors, you can imagine what buses are like at rush hour.
#5: Perfectly said! I agree completely. Either that or put on the whole freaking show. Get naked and sweaty. None of this half-assed back-of-the-porn-movie groping. It’s all or nuthin’ folks.
However on #6, <begin rant>
If, by brief you mean: If you must witness about ANYTHING (from how Jesus cleared up your acne to how tin-foil hats protect you from government “rays” to why you should/should not support any given candidate/issue)think “The person next to me looks like a surly S.O.B. and will probably rip me a new one if I say one fucking word…I’d better keep my mouth shut” and say nothing, then I agree. If, however, by ‘brief’ you mean saying “No, really, let me tell you about God’s Plan For Your Life. You’ll thank me afterwards”, then I disagree. Strongly. Trust me. I make it a point to ignore unsolicited advice from strangers. In one instance the person was so persistant that I ignored them to by dumping my soda in their lap.</end rant>
Fenris (who’s just had a public transportation flashback and is very glad he now owns a car)
On your first point, it won’t work on the MBTA in Massachusetts. The driver will point to the busstop. If you are lucky, you make it back to the stop before (s)he roars on through.
Second point is right on. It should be used on airplanes too!
Bus drivers in Montreal are forbidden for safety reasons to admit passengers other than at a bus stop. There are signs to this effect posted at many bus stops.
This one just drives me crazy, and it’s not even that bad. While waiting for the bus, why walk out into the middle of the street and stare angrily down the block? Do you actually think that makes the bus come faster? Stand on the curb with the rest of us, and stop making like your life’s so damn important you can’t be bothered to wait for a bus.
In addition to the Walkman comment. Please do not bring on a boombox so big it takes up it’s own seat, and then “share” some lovely profanity filled racket with the rest of the bus. sheesh!
In SF we have homeless people dragging 2 or 3 garbage bagsfull of aluminum cans to take to the recycling area. Hey, why not do that midday instead of rushhour so all the people in their nice clothes don’t have to climb over your sticky, stinking garbage bags blocking the aisle? I mean, you’re HOMELESS for cryin’ out loud…it’s not like your day was so busy that’s the only time you could do it!
