Artistocrats Poll: Personally Rank The 6 Funniest (& 6 Least Funny) Comics/Deliveries

Now that Rick’s The Aristocrats (No spoilers) thread has fallen to the back pages of the Cafe Society forum (and the film is in wide release), how about a poll where you; who has either recently returned from the theater - or bought an illegal copy from the Chinese guy down the block; post the 6 funniest and 6 least funny comics in the film.

Speaking of the previous thread, we already have several most humorous nominations:[ul][li]bienville: Carrie Fisher & Sarah Silverman segment[]Marley23: Sarah Silverman[]VarlosZ: Sarah Silverman[]hajario: Sarah Silverman[]Valerieblaise: Andy Richter & Doug Stanhope[]Johnny Angel: Kevin Pollack (doing Christopher Walken)[]sciurophobic: Carrie Fisher[]Twickster: Eric Meade’s card trick.[/ul]Whether they’d like to come here and finish off their lists is up to them. OK - On To The Poll…[/li]
The 6 (IMHO) Funniest Appearances - Without comments to avoid spoilers
[ol][li]Gilbert Gottfried[
]Andy Dick[]Sarah Silverman[]Martin Mull[]Rita Ruddner[]Trey Parker/Matt Stone of South Park[/ol](Honorable mention goes to Bob Saget, Pat Cooper, Robin Williams & Doug Stanhope’s blond infant)[/li]
The 6 (IMHO) Least Funny Appearances[ol][]Tim Conway - I don’t recall even grinning[]Steven Wright - My theory is his level of humor is tied directly to his amount of hair[]Emo Phillips - Thank God he only ate up 40 seconds of celluloid[]Billy Connolly - Sometimes banter and enthusiasm is contagious - other time’s it’s annoying.[]Mario Cantone - Please stay on Broadway & off the big screen - or go back to hosting kid’s cartoon shows[]David Brenner - And I usually find his schtick entertaining[/ol]The gaucho Extra Credit Question: Who would you have liked to have seen in the film? So far we have: David Cross, Wanda Sykes, Margaret Cho Ed Sullivan & Bob Newhart. I’d nominate Robert Wuhl & John Valby be added to the list.

Funniest:

  1. Billy the Mime - I now respect a mime. What is this world coming to?
  2. Sarah Silverman - Not merely a great idea, but perfectly acted. The “coming to the brink of a realization then suddenly veering away to another topic” look on her face… wow.
  3. Trey Parker & Matt Stone - “Neither do I.”
  4. That guy with the ventriloquist dummy - Holy fuck, that was funny. Offensive as hell, but funny.
  5. Drew Carey - the snap is, in fact, perfect.
  6. Bob Saget - of course.

Special props to the card trick guy who wasn’t funny, but was fucking amazing.
Least Funny:

  1. Eddie Izzard - Dude, what were you on?
  2. Jon Stewart - Smug does not necessarily equal funny.
  3. George Carlin - It’s hard to seperate the disgusting from the funny in this joke, but Carlin was just way too far on the disgusting side for me. YMMV.
  4. Howie Mandell - Meh. Okay, actually not sure- maybe he was good, but his bald head and goatee were too mesmerizing for me to listen to what he was saying.
  5. Mario Cantone - But that’s just bias against him- how do you shriek so much and yet be so damned boring? God himself could hand him the perfect seventeen minutes, and I still couldn’t bear to watch him. Besides, he’d insist on sticking Carol Channing and Liza Minelli references into it so he could preen.
  6. The Smothers Brothers - just as little too… dull. I think that was more a problem with the placement, though; they’d have been much, much funnier near the end of the movie rather than near the beginning, where they were.

Who would I like to have seen in there? One of the Blue Collar tour comedians- Jeff Foxworthy or Bill Engvals. Given Jeff’s reputation for working clean, one wonders what his version would be like…

Hm, I honestly don’t remember the movie well enough to do full lists (but it’s still playing here in L.A., and I’ll probably see it again!), but my four favorite bits were:

  1. Gilbert Gottfried’s (the first part, not his actual telling at the roast).
  2. Sarah Silverman’s, for the reason JC noted.
  3. Bob Saget’s.
  4. The Trey Parker-Matt Stone telling.

And I would have liked to have seen Chris Rock tell the joke. Come to think of it, given his good-boy image, I’d like to have seen Jerry Seinfeld tell it as well.

Funny:

  1. Gottfried (who I normally find not-that-funny… but… wow)
  2. South Park
  3. Saget
  4. Silverman
  5. the card trick guy
  6. Carey

Not Funny:

  1. Andy Dick
  2. Emo Phillips
  3. that guy who was throwing himself around the room
  4. Cantone
    5,6, etc - there were a bunch more that were just sort of boring and I glazed over a little. My ridiculous moments of laughing with this movie definitely came in spurts.

For clarification, I didn’t say the card trick guy was the funniest – I was just surprised no one had mentioned him.

Can’t rank in order of funniness, so in a six-way tie for first:

Sarah Silverman; Drew Carey (did the snap at a coworker today – apparently he hasn’t seen the movie yet); card trick guy; South Park; Kevin Pollack doing Christopher Walken; the mime.

Honorable mention among those who didn’t actually tell the joke: Phyllis Diller.

Least funny, also as a tie:

Jon Stewart, Andy Dick, Emo Phillips, Eddie Izzard, Howie Mandel.

Honorable mention among those who didn’t actually tell the joke: Tim Conway.

Sarah Silverman should win an Oscar for her performance.

Bob Sagett… Bob Sagett… What can you say about someone who is so completely in their element when telling that joke?

Funniest. . .

  1. The Mime. Killed me.

  2. The Ventriloquist.

  3. Silverman. I think she’s the funniest thing I’ve seen in years(*).

  4. Both of the guys with their babies at the end. Richter & someone.

The card trick was good.

(*) Not from aristocrats: I’m still telling that joke where she talks about her 6 year old niece coming home from school, “We learned about Hitler. He killed 60 million Jews.”

“well, 6 million. He wasn’t that bad.”

Also, 6 year old niece: “She’s so cute. The other day she came up to me and said, ‘Aunt Sarah, I figured out I’m a lesbian. Don’t worry. I don’t hate men or anything. I just love eating pussy.’”

Sarah Silverman was outstanding, for the reasons stated earlier. Was the guy she said raped her, the (real) talent agent shown in that really cluttered office?

Kevin Pollack’s Christopher Walken impersonation was incredibly good - my biggest disappointment with the movie was how short that sequence was. I wanted more, more! Gilbert Gottfried at the conference-room table, and NOT at the Hefner roast, rocked. Robin Williams was good (and I liked his rabbi-with-a-parrot joke, too), and Drew Carey, too.

Comics I would’ve liked to have seen: Steve Martin, John Cleese, Eddie Murphy, Jerry Seinfeld, and Buddy Hackett (why not record his voice over the phone, at least?). Too bad they didn’t tape Sam Kinison telling the joke before he died - he would’ve been GREAT. That joke would’ve been made for him.

Funny:

  1. South Park - Honestly, I didn’t hear a lot of this telling, I was laughing so hard.
  2. George Carlin - why’s George getting dissed? His matter of fact delivery was fantastic for the joke.
  3. The lady who turned the joke around (“the cock sucking motherfuckers”). She captured one of the keys to comedy - surprise.
  4. Silverman. I intend to add her to my Laminated List.
  5. Saget. One word - “Cockeyed!”
  6. Gottfried - Just the balls he had.

Not funny:

  1. Howie Mandel - Liking him less and less all the time.
  2. The ventriloquist - if you’re going to do a ventriloquist bit, practice first, ya schmuck.
  3. Eddie Izard - he took the purple dinosaurs.
  4. Emo - Yes, it is true. Minnesotans are very nice, but not funny.
  5. Brenner - I am humiliated that he is a Philly native like myself (though that fact has humiliated me for a long, long time).
  6. Cantone. Simply lame

While he wasn’t my favorite, I gotta stick up a bit for Steven Wright. His delivery sucked, and his version didn’t sizzle, but the “I gotta go see them” addition was really good.

Sua

I thought the ventriloquist was great. Not because he did a particularly good job of not moving his mouth while talking, but just his body language, the voice, and the puppetry, REALLY sold the idea that he and the puppet were two separate characters.

I guess you could refer to Homer Simpson’s favorite talk show host; Joe Franklin, as a talent agent of sorts. He used to be on locally in NYC, and would have diverse guests like Frank Sinatra, Woody Allen & Captain Lou Albano on the same couch. Back then, there were no talk shows based in NYC, so when anyone who was on the East Coast wanted to plug something, they’d get booked on Joes’ Show. Speaking of plugs, I thought he mentioned his old WOR program in his interview.

(Link)

So… was Joe Franklin the guy they showed in his really, really crowded office?

I thought Sara Silverman was great, right up until she said it out loud. The whole funny was that she wasn’t getting it, and was not letting herself get it (which is again funny: it’s too disturbing to think that he’s sexually assaulting her, but sex acts with her own family isn’t disturbing : that’s a show!).

Evidently, I’m a minority, though.

I’ll have to get back to you on the funniest, but unquestionably the least funny was Howie Mandell. For a film where someone was laughing in my theater the entire duration, his segment was quiet as a tomb. Dreadful.

I do think it was better without that little last line, actually. It was still good with, mind you, but would have been better without.