I also have ulcerative colitis, though I’ve only unloaded in my pants badly once. I don’t really think several value-added farts count, as they were naught but a bit of icky mucousy slime that only just soaked through the undies. Oopsy. 
I’d have given a TMI warning, but what the hell. If you’re reading this thread, obviously you want TMI.
My uncle is a crane driver; he operates one of those BIG cranes, the ones that are several hundred feet tall and have gigantic concrete counterweights.
One day he’s sitting up top in the cab, when he gets that gotta-go-now urge. So he climbs out, and begins his descent down the ladder. Unfortunately for him, he couldn’t make it down to ground level quickly enough, and ended up doing the business in his pants.
Apparently, his underpants and their contents ended up in the nearby river, and he went commando for the rest of the day. Poor guy… snigger.
My wife shit my pants once, but I don’t want to talk about it.
Fagjunk Theology: Not just for sodomite propagandists anymore.
About 6 months ago, I went for one of my early morning jogs. When I was nearly home, I started getting these really bad shit pains, like I gotta go. So then I stopped running and started walking in an attempt to stop the “jostling” effect. I nearly made it home too, before I let go with a small pinched loaf.
So, I make it home, and shower and change my clothes. WTF do I do with my underwear? Since I’m a tightass, I decide to save them. Since I don’t want my wife to laugh at me, I decide to hide them until I can wash them myself. So I throw my soiled underwear behind the trashcan on the side of the house.
All goes according to plan, when at the dinner table, my wife asks me “if I’ve had a little accident”. I give her my best WTF look, and say “no”. And then she asks me “are you sure, because I found these shitty underwear behind the trashcan”.
Needless to say I was embarrassed as hell.
I haven’t crapped my pants, but I HAVE shit on a wall!
Several years ago during summer break in Junior High I went to a company picnic thing with my family. I didn’t have fun there but I DID get a bad case of food poisoning. For an entire week I was constantly having to go to the bathroom to have the diarrhea and/or puke. One morning I thought I had to go shit so I run to the bathroom tearing my pants and underwear off on the way and jump on the toilet. It ended up being just a fart. Just as I was getting ready to get off the toilet, I felt the urge to puke. So I jump up real quick and start puking in the toilet. At the same time however, the shits came back. As I was puking, shit began exploding out of my ass which had been pointed to a wall three feet away. I hit that damn wall with the power of a fire hose. It made the sound of a garden hose stream hitting windows.
My mom said next time, puke on the floor if I have to.
That was about eight years ago.
Oh Broys, that was priceless!
:eek:
I remember a few years ago reading a letter in an advice column (not Dear Abby, or the like, but more of a subculture newspaper) where this guy told the story of going out with a girl, hitting it off REALLY well, eating Thai food together, and then going back to her place for a night of wild sex. The next morning, when the girl was in the shower, the guy is laying there in the bed reflecting on the past night’s events when he feels like he has to fart. Well, appartently the Thai food didn’t agree with him because he ended up shitting all over this poor girl’s bed.
Instead of trying to clean up the mess, or waiting to explain to her what had happened, he quickly got dressed and left without a word. The last sentence of his letter was something along the lines of “Do you think there’s any way I can call her back and explain?”
In a word, no.
Another person with Crohn’s disease here.
Best term I’ve heard to describe what happens to me far too often? Gas with shrapnel.
The interesting thing is I’m actually kinda used to occasionally not making to the bathroom in time, so I don’t get terribly upset about it anymore.
:eek:
My buddie has so much trouble with this problem that he started a club. Club Poopy Pants (CPP)
In fact you can buy some boxers with the logo
under “Ultimate gear”
http://www.ultimatesportsman.net/When%20Nature%20Calls.html
I remember a local radio dj (Chicago) having food poisoning like Broys, but he
just jumped in the tub! Wife still complained!
Yet another Chron’s patient here.
(looks around, waves)
Hi folks, didn’t realize we had so many IBD people here!
I thought I had to fart once but instead a little Hersey’s kiss came out.:dubious: