After justly getting called on the carpet by Gazelle for not letting people know when I changed my name midstream… (and inadvertently ticking off Jazzmine by neglecting to put a smiley where I probably should have), I figure I should make amends.
First things first… Jazzmine, I didn’t really mean the “evil bitch” bit. Sincere apologies. I often do drop the smileys in long, continously silly posts, because otherwise, I feels like I’m like that fat, bald uncle with a bad combover and the houndstooth sportscoat who always says “Ya get it? It’s funny, because…” whenever he tells a joke. Because of this, sometimes my humor gets lost… or more accurately, not found, so I’d like to present you with your very own retroactive emoticon to apply wherever you’d like to apply it: 
Don’t be afraid of it… tt’s non-toxic, and more interestingly, it’s actually lemon-scented too. Don’t be fooled by the scent though, they taste horrible.
Now, for the rest of you.
Hi.
I’m the poster formerly known as Vanilla Toast. I requested to have my username changed to Zenham for reasons which I will now attempt to illume.
My original impetus for coming on board was to find Scylla’s Nighttime Adventures with the Naughty Blimp, which a friend of mine had shared with me. I’m sure to be the four-thousandth Doper (or higher) to say thank you, again and again, Scylla. That post still brings tears to our eyes.
So when I signed up here two scant months ago (344 posts ago, sweet holy bottle-washing brush of a well-fed infant Jesus, I’m addicted), I tried to pop on with the same name I’ve use in other non-work fora, namely “Toast”. Unfortunately, someone had already squatted on the name Toast which, believe me, I earned fair and square many years back while playing multiplayer Quake. I was the guy repeatedly voted as Most Likely To Die By Walking Into An Open Pit Of Lava. I got better at the first-person shooters, but the name stuck, kind of like the magma did.
In any case, I’m not bitter that someone signed up with “Toast” two years ago and hasn’t even bothered to post once. C’est la vie. I am however disturbed about finding out, after a little detective work, that this person’s one standing legacy seems to be an undying devotion to the never-ending pursuit of modifying, photographing, displaying, and enshrining his Mitsubishi Eclipse.
This is a young man who, one day in the far distant future, will sit straight up on his deathbed, clutch his chest, exclaim “Damn, if I would only have gotten those aftermarket Euro chrome taillights when they were still available… then I would have been the all-funktastic king of bombastic, I tell you”, and collapse in a contorted heap as his heart gives up the fight in despair.
This is an individual who would fail to suprise me, were he to spend an entire day chemically testing the octane of the fuel from each of the seventy-two premium fuel pumps within six miles of his house to determine which one is really the highest, in the hopes of squeezing out yet one more tenth of a horsepower.
Scarier still, he’s not alone, either.
I don’t feel bitter. I do feel positively soiled, however.
In any case, at the moment of my Doper birth, I chose to add Vanilla to the front of Toast for the simple reason that I was at that moment enjoying one of my favorite foods: Dannon’s Light N’ Fit Vanilla Yogurt. I’m all about the low sugar/fat-free/aspartame-sweetened stuff due to having mild diabetes, but… really now, that was silly.
Never create usernames when snacking.
Recently, I decided to ask the kind and ever-renomifying TubaDiva to humor me, and change my username to a one I’ve used for a long while in work-related (geek-related) fora, namely Zenham. This name came about because at one time I was programming an IRC channelbot which, among a thousand other useless features, would randomly select items from a list of anagrams fr any string you cared to give it, and while testing in-channel I plugged in my first initial and last name, and… voila. It stuck. It’s also unique enough to get interesting guesses as to its meaning. Besides, who really knows if a pig has a Buddha nature?
The name Zenham’s not intended to step on the toes of Zenster, hope he forgives me. He’s the master of barbeque I want to be when I grow up. More, I mean. When I grow up more.
I just hope I can give even a fraction back of what I get from this board (especially MPSIMS). I’m in the Pit a good bit too, but only to rant. If you see me posting in the Pit, it’ll almost always just be some pet peeve, and nothing really close to my heart, so bear with me. I can get a bit cranky at times, especially since I also have narcolepsy, and am on a steady diet of stimulants which make me edgy when they go into decline.
I live in the southeastern US, about 60 miles east of Atlanta. North Georgia’s very nice, actually… and it’s low on the yutz count that south Georgia is doubly gifted with. When some yahoo from Georgia does something crass which hits the mainstream media, you can be almost guaranteed that he wasn’t from North Georgia. I’m still in the process of relocating back to Athens following a two-year stint down in Hilton Head Island, South Carolina.
Due to the past year of a poor economy, I’m an overqualified and underemployed Unix programmer/geek by trade (with a background in large systems architecture, HCI (human-computer interaction), usability and functional interface design). I’m pretty sure I’m not the only tech person around here with the underutilization problem. Don’t get me wrong; I’m very glad to be employed, period. It would have been nice to not have to drop about half of the salary I’d earned for years by doing what I did and knowing what I know, in order to be back at a university in the role of a system administrator/application support specialist again. It’s just that six months without paychecks (due to a dishonest employer not having money to pay the staff, and a lack of other opportunities in the immediate area surounding Hilton Head) got to be truly painful, and more than just for monetary reasons. I wholly prefer earning my own keep, and failing to do so truly grinds me down.
I’m quite musically-inclined, playing several instruments (when combined, I have enough talent for perhaps one), writing music on occasion. In early days, I was a disc jockey for a few years, working at both an NPR station and a pop station for the last year of my broadcast career. I surround myself with music, both recorded and live.
I recently made a regretful purchase: $60 worth of bulk “thinking putty” (silly putty, with irridescent colors and the like). It’s fun, sure… but two pounds of it is no more fun than, say, three ounces. Fortunately, I’m putting it to good use by giving chunks of it to friends. Speaking of which…
I’m blessed to be a part of a large circle of friends in real life who have stuck together in quantity over the years (over a decade has passed since the circle started). These are people whose charms and graces I will never fully deserve, but whose company I will always dive into with the utmost enthusism, and the most contagious displays of glee. I’d give up the rest of it all in a heartbeat if it came down to it for friends and family; good people are a gift that regives itself, continuously. Moving back to Athens to be in the thick of my friends and family once again is far and away the best thing I’ve done for myself in years.
I’m a carnivore/omnivore/fooodivore, I rarely drink more than one beer a week, thanks to the diabetes (sis boom bah), but I’m not judgemental about it. I cut back from smoking a pack a day to at most a couple of cigarettes a day, and then only when I’m really stressing about something. I am a proud American, who is sometimes shamed by what his elected officals consider to be upstanding and honorable behavior. This tends to lead to more smoking, and I’m guessing that if trends continue, possibly to dancing.
I believe the two worst things you can to yourself do are compromising yourself for advancement, and not acknowledging the things surrounding you which bring you the most happiness. This isn’t meant to be all fuzzy-bunny in nature; I mean, if the one thing that really makes you happy is painting murals of graphic sausage factory scenes, then by Og, I wish you the best in pursuing your joy, and may you faithfully render the rendering.
And yes, I really do like vanilla yogurt. A lot.
What else does anyone want to know? Feel free to ask whatever you’d like.
Cheers-
The poster formerly known as Vanilla Toast
And scads o’ Big skanky Friday love back atcha! I can actually get good use out of precisely that kind of vibe today.
