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Having checked Biffer’s email status, I opened the reply window 4 times without finding a way to say it nicely. Conclusion: Mr. Cynical is much smarter than me, regardless of the unnecessary full stop. And better still, Biffer was completely blameless.
WEST PALM BEACH, Fla., Nov. 10 - Leaders of Florida’s Seminole tribe filed suit today in federal court, claiming that the use of Arrows on election ballots was demeaning and intimidating to Native Americans. The suit alleges that nearly 19,000 members of the tribe, who had intended to
vote for George W. Bush, became so distraught at the sight of the arrows that their hands began to shake uncontrollably, causing them to mispunch the ballot. The chief of the tribe noted that many of these people left the
polls in tears, and came to him saying they “knew they had punched more than one hole in the ballot.” The suit calls for the scalp of the local election officials who designed the ballot.
I must say this week’s Onion is one of the finest ever in terms of overall quality. I thought the election aftermath coverage stayed funny and managed to avoid turning into a one trick pony, a trap into which Onion writers occasionally fall.