I want a pony.
Late to the game, eh Cervaise? There’s a pony dispenser in the hall. We got tired of having to special order ponies every time someone requested them. It helps to show up to the meetings once in a while, then you wouldn’t be in the dark about these things.
The pony dispenser takes Canadian bullion coins, too. Including the million-dollar one. (That’ll get you the Complete Pony Accessory Set, including barns, staff, and land.)
Just make sure you turn the crank ALL THE WAY. It gets stuck if you don’t and then the pony is trapped in the chute and it whinnies and cries and that gets really annoying.
Yeah and don’t rock the machine back and forth. Boy don’t you learn that the hard way.
Poor Steve.
And don’t reach too far into the machine, either. One-handed Bob learned that one too late–those things bite when stressed!
That reminds me, Steve said I could have his office. You know, the big corner one. In his memory I’m having a jacuzzi put in the private bathroom…I’ll expense it as a bereavement gift.
Sorry for the lack of clarity. I meant a pony keg.
Oh, sweet Og, now we’re going to be distracted from serious larceny to beating a dead horse to work up a proper froth.
I think we should “donate” a “portion” of our “proceeds” to “charity”.
You know, we gotta “do the right thing”, and it really is “about people”.
I think we should do more charity work. I want you to hire an illustrator so I can finish my children’s book Satan Is Your Friend. Then we can give free copies to innercity kids.
I insist that my Mormons use 20 sterilely-extracted Kleenex per hand to turn on the water taps. I also insist upon a nice hardwood shelf where I can store bottles of my urine. Thank you.
Are there any seats open on the board of directors?
We’re corrupt–you can always buy a seat on the board of directors.
I propose we get rid of our current counsel; Dewey, Cheatham & Howe and hire Milton, Chadwick, & Waters, I hear they do good work.
We should put it out for open competitive bidding, by which I mean sizeable graft, of course. I understand Wolfram & Hart wants to be considered.
I’m going to “borrow” the company Learjet for a while, if that’s all right.
I need a million dollars and a bowl of chocolate pudding.
Ah, but you miss the point.
You’re trying to make money off of me, whilst I am trying to make money off of you. Any price offered for a board seat would probably be more than the expected revenue from the seat.
While we’re at it, I don’t care to drive or fly, so may I have use of a company limo to handle all needed transportation over short distances, a company rail car for longer trips on land, and a company yacht for trips over bodies of water?
Well, I have a concept for our entering the lucrative beachfront property market—in Afghanistan.
The trick being, of course, that we’ll need to engage in some…creative enviromental engineering first. Kind of hush-hush, you understand. No need to tip off MI6—er, the competition before we have our assets in place.
Opal! I want to be in the corporation! I have demands!
Every month, I demand that several dopers be sent to my house to have dinner, drink wine, and play super Nintendo until dawn! Of course, the company can pay for the dinner and wine every month, but c’mon! everyone loves Nintendo! (well, those of you that don’t - shush…)
Also, a truck would be nice (it can be a junker, as long as the engine runs…)
Brendon Small