You see us all the time in every major cities. Those youngish, preppy looking guys in their twenties and thirties in suits or Brooks Brothers/Ralph Lauren shirts walking down the street or driving BMWs, Saabs, Volvos, SUVs or even (if their very lucky) Porches on their way to work. Sometimes you see us in bars after work hanging with our coworkers.
Maybe you don’t live in an urban area and the only thing you know about us is what you see on TV (which usually portrays us as arrogant corporate Nazis). Maybe you’re in college and are interested in the types of jobs we have.
In any case, I’m here to answer any questions you may have. Note, however, I only represent myself, and not every white, twentysomething, corporate professional guy.
Just a little about me:
Age: Late twenties
Education: MBA, BS Engineering
Work History: Current job - Management consultant for a major international professional services firm
Previous work - Several years consulting for a number of Internet consulting firms.
If your are asking about my home:
Rent - I still move around a lot so I don’t want to own a house.
If you are asking about my car:
Own - A lot of my friends buy new cars every two years. Mostly things like Maximas or SUVs. As much as I would love to own a Beemer and could probably afford used one, there are other things I’d rather spend $30 k on. So I continue to drive the same hand-me-down Ford Taurus my dad gave me as a graduation gift. His company gives him a new car every two years so he has the option of buying the old one dirt cheap. They used to be Tauruses but I think he now gets Chevy Luminas or something similar.
We have ‘virtual offices’. That means we are usually at a client site, but there are a few conference rooms we can use when we’re at the home office. ‘Corner offices’ are usually reserved for the big-wigs (VPs, partners, directors, etc)
Secretaries are increasingly rare. Some executives have ‘administrative assistants’ who help them organize stuff. And of course the receptionists handle a lot of the phone duties. But no one types up our letters for us anymore.
My Taurus has 160,000 miles on it. The molding under the bumper is held on with twine, a coat hanger, and glue. I see no special reason to use any kind of foam on the tires.
Although I have a buddy who was very proad of all the fog lights he could fit on his Jeep.
Yes. Sometimes my job can get boring if I’m between clients or if I’m waiting for something that holding up my work. I’ll make paperclip sculptures or patterns out of push-pins. One time I even made this elaborate struture out of a coat hanger, some rubber bands, and some paperclips because my jacket kept falling off its hook (this is what I do with my engineering degree).
No, not really.
I don’t gamble that much. I usually break even when I do, or I only loose as much as I planned to spend. And I never hit the ATM while I’m gambling.
So, how accurate is Dilbert in portraying corporate life? (Really. I don’t know because I’ve avoided working inside of corporations for decades.)
Is it like the movie ‘Working Girl’ with Melanie Griffith? Lots of back stabbing and searching constantly for ways to make more money for the corporation. What do you do at a desk all day? (I avoided working behind a desk like it was poison.)
Which is probably why I don’t drive anything but 5 year old used cars.
Some. I participate in my Firms (yes, in our company sometimes refers to itself as the Firm in legal documents) 401k. I have been in grad school part time for the past several years, so a lot of my money went to tuition.
Sometimes I invest in stocks. Mostly blue chips or Internet companies I think will actually work. I lost a couple thousand in Lucent and I had some stock options from a previous company that I never exercised. Overall, since I didn’t invest in too many dot-coms, I didn’t lose that much.
I actually worked as an civil engineer for a little while, but didn’t like it that much. I also worked as a computer programmer in a company while I was in school. It was almost a real job.
I guess my Firm owns me. If I quit within the next couple years, I have to repay my signing bonus. Usually the company leases me out to our clients.
It’s pretty accurate at some companies. In my last job, I used to hang up a Dilbert comic whenever someone did something in the comic strip. My wall was pretty crowded.
Sort of. Working Girl was about an investment bank, but consulting firms like the Big-5, McKinsey, or BCG are also very competitive. They usually have an up or out policy where you are ‘councelled out’ if they don’t plan to promote you any further. I wouldn’t worry though, the company name on your resume opens a lot of doors in the corporate world.
At my last job…this (surfing the web). I used to program a lot. Mostly web and client server stuff. I also meet with clients a lot, which gets me away from the desk. Unfortunately it gets me into a lot of meetings where we have to explain how we can fit a gallon of work in a shot-glass of time. Sometimes, I’m putting together ‘deliverables’ or ‘white papers’ which is really just MBA-speak for reports and analyses on stuff we’re working on.
A lot of it is pretty dry stuff. But since I have to work, I like the idea that I get to work with a lot of interesting companies. I also like being able to switch clients every few months when the project ends.
Do you use marketing catchphrases, as opposed to technical jargon, in your day-to-day interactions with co-workers and clients? Would you refer to your Taurus as an “end-to-end multi-client personal mobility solution?” Is your lunch a “focused mid-day sustenance solution?” D you regularly use words like “synergy?”
I only have limited experience with the private sector, but the one thing that stood out in my mind, as compared to the public sector, was the discussion around the coffee maker. In government, it’s home remodeling, weekend plans, cars, family, travel, sports, and the stock market. In the private sector, it was sports, the stock market, the stock market, the stock market, and the stock market – and this wasn’t even a financial services firm. Is everyone working in a corporate environment have this sick fascination with the markets?
I worked for a company where people actually spoke like that. They would use terms like:
MBA speak - English**
best practices - things that are good
growth areas - things that are bad
bio break - trip to the bathroom
whiteboard - the white boards that you can write on using Expo brand erasable markers
pres - presentation
capture - write down
facilitate - talk to a group
