Yeah I have a question. You said back early on that hell was all firey and stuff, then later on you said fire is cool. I think I’m confused, as can happen with us infidels, but wouldn’t that make hell cool too?
Also, while I’m not gay, I have had pre-marital sex, I listen to rock and roll, I like Chinese, but I didn’t vote for Clinton. What kinds of odds do you think I have of making it into Heaven?
Bob, as I understand it, Ted Bundy is in Heaven because he accepted Jesus before he was fried, but the women he killed who hadn’t accepted Jesus are in Hell, even if they would have accepted Jesus some day if Ted hadn’t killed them.
Are you in touch with Ted in Heaven? Does he feel bad about this?
Just curious.
Um, if all Rock & Roll music is Satanic, how can Jesus (AMERICAN JESUS!) front a U2 cover band? Isn’t that pretty hypocritical? And didn’t Jesus have a SERIOUS problem with hypocrisy?
Since no Rock & Roll music is allowed in heaven, do U3 play gigs in hell? I’m really trying to understand. God gave me an inquiring mind and it seems like those of us blessed with curiosity & a little intelligence are the people most liekly to be decieved by Satan while the less intelligent people easily accept the Bible.
Do dogs go to heaven? My dog is pretty obedient and doesn’t pee in the house, but can he accept Jesus as his savior? He is a pit bull, and some people call them “devil dogs”. If I hold a pen to his paw and help him check the box at the bottom of a tract on his deathbed, will that get him into heaven? He can’t sin (being an animal and all), so is checking the box even necessary for him?
[Diogenes voice]Kingpengvin,
Sorry I took so long to respond, I missed your post a couple of pages back. I admit that I stole the idea for this thread from you. I asked you in theat thread if I could use the idea, but you didn’t respond on the thread for a couple of days, and you didn’t have an e-mail address posted on the board, so I just went ahead. I hope you’re not too pissed, I should have mentioned you in my OP, will credit you again right now.
to everybody:
I stole this idea from kingpenvin. I totally ripped it off without his expressed permission (although I tried a little bit).
Sorry again, king, I should have given you more time to respond.[/Diogenes voice]
Hi Bob, it’s me again. I’m afraid Bible study with the guy I met in the elevator didn’t work out. Would you believe he’s Catholic?! So, anyway, Jesus said I should ask you what you’re doing this Saturday night. Oh, and He said I should say something about peanut butter.
Confused, but Single
The coronors say that I annoy them to death! I believe the coronors are agents of Satan!
Congratulations on your salvation! I have season tickets to watch the sinners burn in the lake of fire! Perhaps you’d like to join me sometime.
I do whatever God and His Son Jesus Christ command me to do! If the Bible says my donkey must be blue, then blue it shall be!
Tangelo!
The Appelachian snake-handling Southern Penecostal Baptists for Jesus (Alabama parish).
Ralph Nader!
That wasn’t me that was Noah, but I happened to know he used a lot of WD40!
You may eat anything except death cookies!
All dogs go to Heaven, all cats go to Hell!
Yes [shudder] disgusting!
Only if you don’t mind being a top! Satan will only be a bottom!
So, Bob, why do you like to visit burn victims so much? And how do you get them to respond so favorably to you! One would think that a person lying in a hospital bed in agony from third degree burns wouldn’t be very receptive to hearing the gospel!
Hell is both fiery and cool! All things are possible with Jesus Christ!
Rock and roll is a powerful demonic force controlled by Satan! The Chinese worship the Devilgod Buddha! Buddha had no son! Buddha did not die for your sins! The only chance you have is to accept the love of Jesus Christ who died on the cross for you! Now that you have read this post you have NO EXCUSE!
Ted and I often enjoy watching his whores burn in the lake of fire! Ted feels great that he accepted the Jesus Christ as his Saviour! He feels terrible that his whores chose to reject God’s love!
Only Jesus Christ, who is Lord, may front a U2 cover band without sin! U3 often plays incognito at little bars and clubs in Seattle! He wants to prove He can get a record deal purely on His talent! He doesn’t want people to say it was because of His dad. I’ve told Him that cover bands don’t get signed but He never listens!
I have already answered your dog question above!
I am glad you saw through Satan’s deception with the Catholic! Would you be interested in some lake of fire watching, with dinner afterwards, of course?
Dear Bob,
1.Is there a restaurant that has a view of the lake of fire?
2. What kind of food do they serve?
3. What is Jesus’s favorite kind of cusine?
4. If Rock and Roll is controlled is controlled by Satan, U2 is a rock band, and Jesus is in a U2 cover band, is Jesus controlled by Satan?
But God is omniscient! He would forsee the choice that they made before it even happened.
HA!!!
So what? He’s God, he can do whatever he wants, and there is NOTHING you can do to stop him! Repent or burn in hell!
HAW HAW HAW!
Sorry for answering for you Bob. 
Yeah. In the chickverse. you go to hell if you inquire.
Go here for a pokemon spoof (with the Bible!)
Okay. So the Chick god is evil.
:eek:
He means So Hell’s GOOD?
He means So Hell’s GOOD?
:wally :dubious:
He means So Hell’s GOOD?
:wally :dubious:
[quote]
bong
The Devil puts these riddles in your head to confuse me. But you will not be so clever when you are burning in Hellfire!
HAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!
Ignore post 1 and 2.
Of course Hell is good. Hell is the greatest thing there is! Jesus Christ created Hell to punish Satan and his demons. There is nothing more beautiful than sinners burning in eternal flames. Burn, you sinners! BURN! BURN! BURN!
Haw, haw, haw!
fire, fire…haw, haw…fire…
If it’s so good, why aren’t YOU burning there?