I was thinking about it and now I think that maybe “Bob’s” hip-hop idea isn’t bad. It lends itself to a lot of the elements of Chickism. It would give us a chance to showcase Chick’s inept attempts to use urban slang as well as his symbol/profanity and characters taking the Lord’s name in vain. We could have an unscrupulous “demonic” record producer who seduces some kid (or maybe a group) and gives them evil rap lyrics to perform. The songs (because this is a Chick tract) could actually cause kids to become gangsters and drug dealers and murderers in order to be “dope.”
The rap group would, of course, ignore initial admonitions to abandon their Satanic lifestyle and follow but eventually something horrible would happen. I imagine to stay in keeping with true Bob form, somebody would have to end up in a burn ward (or maybe in ICU after a drug OD? A burn ward would be funnier). At this point, of course, Bob shows up out of nowhere to deliver his standard harrangue at the hospital bed. The question is, do we play it straight all the way and have the guy fall over and convert, or do we have an ironic payoff where the guy has his bodyguards beat the crap out of Bob, or Bob in some other way gets his comeuppance?
Of course, the absurdity of SpongeBob could provide plenty of laughs too, but we have to find angle for why Bob would object to it.
The rap thing is something Chick would actually do, so it lends itself to a dryer level of satire, SpongeBob would be pretty much farce. I guess it depends on which tone we want.
Diogenes, I do like the idea of the “urban outreach” tract (especially if you could fit Pam Grier into it – I really like her–but I think that you identify a potential problem when you say that it’s like something that Chick would actually do. It would be hard to come up with something satirical that would be wilder than what an actual Chick strip would be like.
As to the angle on SpongeBob…in the only episode I remember seeing, there was a moral message, but (of course) no mention of Jesus. Those Satanic cartoon fish were saying we could be good without God! Surely something could be done with that?
Either way, I’m sure you could come up with something hilarious, based on the evidence in this thread.
the pokemon tract would be funny, even though people hate the show. after all, it would be funny to see bob get killed by a pineaple with a sombrero, godzilla’s mother-in-law, audrey’s kid, a sixfoot tall scorpion, 3 trashcans that are made out of metal, bricks, and ice, a giant mudskipper,godzilla’s second cousin 47 times removed, a blob of silly putty, a psychic guy with a foot for one hand, and a sumo wrestler.
(They actually have things like that in the new pokemon game that will be coming out. I’m not kidding.)
How about showing, Robert Altman style, vignettes of people, all dedicated to “bad” things and lifestyles. One by one, each has something bad happen. Bob visits each, each has an epiphany, and each is “saved” and immediately becomes a delightful, full person again.
ROFLOL Hilarious, eh?
Oh, wait – that’s exactly what the Chick cartoons do now. [sub][sup]Never mind.[/sup][/sub]
[Bob]Death cookies taste like demons and death! In Hell you will burn all the calories you want![/Bob]
Yeah, I was pretty much just thinking of folling the Angels tract and changing everything to hip hop instead of rock, but maybe it is just too damn believable to work as parody.
I guess for a sci-fi angle we could do a story about Star Trek geeks who get drawn further and further into the Trekkie “lifestyle” despite Bob’s admonitions. Some of the stuff at Chick.com seems to show that Chick has a problem with UFO/ET type stuff. I suppose he would also see the Star Trek world as atheistic and the Aliens as demons (Come on, look at Spock, he’s gotta be Satan)
Alternatively, I can also see where he would hate the Star Wars movies too. God is replaced by the Force, and Luke Skywalker is a “false Messiah.” (Yoda is, of course, “Satan’s demon.”)
Any ideas for a plot for either a Star Trek or star Wars tract?
Of course, Chick probably can’t tell them apart anyway. He would probaly have Vulcans and the Force in the same series.
I still think pokemon could be very funny, but I’m handicapped by not knowing very much about it, sounds like you do though. Let’s keep it in the hopper for now.
I like the idea of a Star Trek/Star Wars/SF Con parody! Filk alone has got all sorts of lovely Satanic aspects, including a certain variation on Banned From Argo, and I would be happy to provide first hand testimony on how I went from a sweet, innocent, Christian Sunday School teacher to hanging out naked in a Wiccan SF writer’s hot tub, along with about a half dozen other naked people. The sad thing is, if you drop the sweet, innocent part, it’d be pretty much true! Hmmm. . . . what really goes on in the Con Suite, what those costumes really represent – we’ve got material here. Then there’s the musical I participated in at the Pittsburgh science fiction convention a couple of years ago – The Sound of Music meets Jules Verne’s 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. That’s got to be evidence demonic activity, doesn’t it? That or serious insanity!
I like the idea of a convention. We could work aspects of other sci-fi characters/series/concepts into it, and we could show how the “innocent” looking stuff is really just a front for “satanic indoctrination” (ala the D&D tract). We could even borrow cj’s example and have our “inocent” protagonist approached by a "major SF/Fantasy writer (ala JK Rowlings, maybe) who invites our hero to a party whicch turns out to be a blood-sacrificing, “Wiccan” ritual. Of course it would have to be a Chick universe fantasy of what Wiccans are like, real Wiccans would be way to ordinary and unexciting for our tract.
I was wondering what you thought of the Indiana Jones movies, the first and the third, that is. (I’ve heard rumors of a second one, but from what I’ve heard, that must be demonic influence, right?) I mean, in the first movie, Indiana Jones rescues the Ark of the Covenant from the evil Nazis and turns it over to the good old U.S. of A. so that must be ok, right? But, in the third movie, doesn’t all that holy grail stuff sound a little, well Catholic? Also, do you think Indiana Jones would go to heaven? How about Marion?
I have not seen the film you speak of, but I know that it was directed by Steven Spielberg. Spielberg is a JEW sent by satan to deceive the youth. His movies glorify demonic space aliens and push a pro-Jewish agenda. Schindler’s List tries to portray Judaism as a legitimate religion. Any movie about the Holy Grail is a Catholic manipulation designed to lead you into error! All of Hollywood is led by a a cabal of satanists and greedy Jews who seek to corrupt America through filth and pornography!
I would highly recommend you watch the Left Behind videos instead. They are very accurate depictions of the coming Rapture. Kirk Cameron was robbed by Satan of an Oscar nomination!
Sorry for being away again this weekend.
A Panel script would be the way to go For example:
Panel 1
In a typical house a boy and girl are fighting over the controls of their video game which looks like an Atari 2600 joystick circa 1985.
In the back ground is a whimsical drawing of a cat trying to pounce on a mouse to show a subtle parallel to the action. Joey: Give it to me it’s my turn you *%@&! Jenny: No it’s my turn you *%@&! I bought the Hip Hop Pokemon game So I get to play it!!!
and so on…
A freind and I created a tract against Bingo called The Devils game! or Under the Soul 666. We cut and pasted panels together removed the Dialogue and inserted our own. Bob is out to save A girl who is playing Bingo.
As Aunt Emily explains: “Unable to use fruit the evil one found a harmless appearing game and through black arts created an adictive hoar game unsing the most evil abbreviation” Below the image is one of those expository boxes.
B (Butt the most evil part of the body) I (Incest) N (New Age) G (Gays) and worst of all O (Open Mindedness).
We never finished but it was pretty funny HAW HAW HAW.
So where can we post the new Thread? Under BBQ Pit?
