Followup question - all the apocalytic, bliblical tone to your vernacular (fire breathing fists, minds exploding, etc. etc. etc.) leads me to an obvious question. . .
Have you accepted Jesus Christ into your life as your personal savior?
You don’t have to come out and say it - just snort a line, twitch, blink uncontrollably, and scratch at nonexistent bugs on your arm once for no, and fifteen thousand fucking times for yes.
I like it, but I don’t think the world is ready for it. The world is full of people who live like sheep. I won’t let them try to take my wool and feed on it. I’m not a sheep, I’m a wolf from the Big Bang. I’m beyond them. The new breed. A new species. I don’t think people can process that, so they fear it. The world just isn’t ready.
Crown Prince of Irony, I will destroy you. I’m a volcano in a jet fighter and you’re a urinal cake. I could piss on you and destroy you. My piss is made of lava. I’ve been pissing fire ever since I started sleeping with the Goddesses.
Charlie, why don’t your pathetic co-stars who have been leeching off the fruits of your talent come out and support you?
My youngest daughter may want to get into acting some day. Do you have any tips for her? How can she become one of the winners?
Mah brother!
You answered it right there; they’re pathetic. They don’t have my bravery, my Adonis DNA or my battle warlock power. They’re afraid of the media sheep. They’re afraid they’ll be eaten by sheep.
In this business you have to do everything with passion. With violence. Act with a violent passion. Play violently. Work violently. Love violently. Your daughter should do barely legal bondage porn.
So does your music transend the deity, or are you and the deity in and of yourselves transendant and, therefore, ultimately pious?
If you borrowed my brain for five seconds, you’d be like, ‘Dude! Can’t handle it, unplug this bastard!’ It fires in a way that’s maybe not from, uh…this terrestrial realm.
How does one become a Vatican Assassin Warlock? Are the benefits any good? What about vacation time?
I have a friend looking for an outgoing partner like yourself. She’s young, hot and obviously not very bright. Any advice?
I love you Charlie.
It’s pretty easy, actually, but it costs $10 USD. 
Hey Chaz! Here’s an easy one for you. How would you bring peace to the Middle East?
What is with the math in 2 1/2 men? I always thought that you were worth more than the total on your own. Are you underacting to make the title work?
Did you get on a dentist blacklist?
Is it in your contract that all your TV characters are named Charlie so you don’t forget who you are?
How do you handle your success?
Is it true you were going to apply on Dateline until you discovered that the show didn’t involve dates and lines?
I’m not afraid to die. Where can I buy this drug called “Charlie Sheen”?
'Fess up. As the Vatican Assassin you must be the Star Whacker that Randy Quaid is so afraid of. Who have you killed? What did Randy do to make your hit list?
Are you comfortable with being a God?