Ask Michael Ellis³

In the grand tradition of “Ask Michael Ellis”, and , “Ask Michael Ellis (Parte Dos)” I present Ask Michael Ellis³!

Go ahead. Ask me something.

What should I do about this thing that’s been happening to this guy in that place? It’s really buggin’ me 'ya know.

Are you interested in buying my toenail clippings?

Where in the world is ‘Location: Location’?

I would deal with it.


Santa Cruz.

How many soda cans should stack up next to my computer tower before I finally go recycle them?

Current count: 11

  1. Unless insects are being attracted to them, in which case, recycle immediately.

What is the nature of Michael Ellis?

Michael Ellis is a left-handed, semi-synthetic, alkaloid polymer chain.

Although normally associated with Carboniferous sub-stratas, Michael Ellis has been found in Tertiary basalts in Greenland and the Faroes Islands.

Where is my left sock?

On your right foot.

Your right sock however, is vacationing in Quadravoort Straat in the 6th Alternate Universe of Blarkon VII.

If it takes half a chicken half a day to lay half an egg, then how long would it take a monkey with a wooden leg to kick all the seeds out of a dill pickle?

Why do you think Michael Ellis is important enough to merit three “Ask Michael Ellis” threads?

Is Michael Ellis more important than Cecil?

Is it a coincidence that Sille Leahcim is almost the same as Sholem Alechim? If so, why? If not, why not go with the more exotic form? It might even work as Salaam Elohim or however the Islamics do it.

On a more personal note, do favor euthanasia of odd-numbered children? Why or why not?

Ah, the cursed one! How’s that curse I cursed you with, Cursed-y?

Are you aware that your name is an anagram of Achilles Mile?

And if so, what special signifigance does Achilles’ Mile have?

What was that?

7 hours, 12 minutes, 14 seconds.

Lemon curry?

Your guess is as good as mine.



Iä! Iä! Tilt! Tilt! YOG-SOTHOTH!


A swallow carrying a coconut.

What’s your favorite CD?


Ice Cream?

Are you the Michael Ellis that was my department manager at that mortgage company in 1984/5?

If so, I want to apologize for treating you and Springer badly. I’ve since found out I’m gay, too.


Coltrane Jazz from Atlantic.

Doctor Who: The Ambassadors of Death