Ask the Celebrity Bartender

Well, my aunt Margaret was in his freshman class at Addison Trail (seen the yearbook picture!) and she says he moved to Des Plaines when he was a sophomore. imdb.com lists his high school as Maine West, which is indeed in Des Plaines.

Correction: Maine TOWNSHIP - Park Ridge. Down the road a piece from Des Plaines.

Thank you for the compliment. I keep thinking my answers are often so uninteresting and incomplete this must be a total bore. But then, the questions are starting to mushroom, so maybe this does have some actual entertainment value. I thought of writing a book about my experiences (some of which I haven’t touched on), but the real dirt isn’t there, which seems to be what the mass public wants to read. And I’m glad I’m not the one with all the dirt. It doesn’t make me feel any better that I got to tell the world about someone being coked up and punching out a photographer. (Well, I guess the photograher would in that instance.)

On to your questions:

  1. Height doesn’t play a big role in Hollywood as we know because guys like Dustin Hoffman, Tom Cruise and Sylvester Stallone are pretty short. Pretty much depends on where you put the camera. But the tall people that stood out to me are Michael Bay (director of action movies) and Larry King’s wife. I’ve waited on Vince Vaughn (who’s 6-4), but he was sitting, so I wasn’t taken by it. As we know, Chevy Chase is tall, as is Will Ferrell, but zippo on serving them, too.

Bay stands out because of the way he approached us. It was at the MTV movie awards one year and we were told to pass out champagne to the audience before the event. But the audience was like 5,000 people and there were like 20 of us. I was actually outside, pouring for the champagne passers, but Bay came out totally pulled the name card. “Hi, I’m Michael Bay, I directed ‘The Rock’ (or maybe he said “Pearl Harbor”). Can I get a bottle of champagne to take back for me and my wife.” I didn’t put a question mark at the end of his quote because he put it to us more as a statement than a question. When he walked away we sort of snickered because he sounded so cheesy (should have expected it based on his movies), but I guess if he wanted some champagne that was the best way to get it. And of course, he got the champagne but came off as more than a bit arrogant.

Continuing on that event, when one of our servers came back and said, “I just waited on Vince Vaughn,” my chakras started whizzing and I just had to get my butt in there (“Swingers” is a top ten all time fave for me). And still I was nervous, because I was abandoning my post. But another caterer practically shoved me inside, so I went. The memory that stands out – other than Dean Cain begging me for a bottle (which he gave me $20 for) – was an up-close-and-personal with Marilyn Manson He too is tall. But it just seemed weird becuase it was this kind of raucous audience, with a jillion celebs but all dressed like normal people. And he of course looked like Marilyn Manson. Put him in that scenario and he doesn’t look menacing in the slightest. I found nothing very mystical or frightening about him. Just a guy wearing funky makeup.

  1. The most physically impessive… Sylvester Stallone stands out, but I wasn’t waiting on him, saw him at the movie theatre with producer Mike Medavoy. I have to think about that. Two guys I played softball with once or twice, Dan Cortez (obligatory sleeveless arms) and soap star Shamar Moore (I noticed him checking out his bod in the outfield) impressed themselves apparently, but were hardly Arnold Schwartzenegar.

  2. The person who stood out who commanded the most presence is a tie between Denzel Washington and Bill Clinton. The way Washington moved, spoke (“You’re gonna fix me a vodka and tonic.”), carried himself, was a little ghetto, very commanding, almost intimidating. Not meant to be that way, but there’s just such force in the guy. That said – and, Denzel, please forgive me putting this in words for the world to see – but I think there’s a good chance he was coked up (that said, I am not an expert on the matter). It was at a premiere in which he starred (“Remember the Titans” I think) and I had a back bar and he came in the back exit very late, like he was in a hurry; and it appeared he had just arrived. But damn, did he carry presence.

Clinton (previously mentioned) just walks and speaks with power, but he’s also comes off as really personable. And he’s BIG. If I looked at that guy not knowing him, I’d say, “That guy could be President.”

Another that commands presence, but in a different way, even more down-to-earth is Tom Hanks. He’s real, but he glows, too. I didn’t wait on him, I watched him quite a bit at one party (a pre-Oscar party) and in the same room was Mel Gibson, Jack Nicholson, Gwynneth Paltrow, Nicholas Cage, Diana Ross and many others. And he just stood out (his wife, Rita Wilson, was in tow). A couple days later at a pre-Oscar brunch, he made a joke to me as he exited the breakfast tent (“So I guess the ‘Truman Show’ barbecue is this afternoon?”) and I just couldn’t help but gaze at him.

All the time. I always play the “I’m-not-starstruck” game, but almost every time a celebrity came to my bar I’d be doing backflips inside. However, when I see them in public I no longer gawk. I see them and move on. But it takes conditioning. It’s hard to quell that voice inside that says, “Holy crap, I’m talking to so-and-so!” while trying to come off with some poise. You’d think after a while it gets old, but it never did.

IIRC, I started I think at $10 per hour and finished (six years later) at around $14 per hour. Tipping was very seldom, so that was pretty much the “real” wage. Some catering companies pay more, some less.

The one interaction that stands out was with Katie Holmes, although she was not drinking alcohol.

One night previous (Saturday) I snuck into the tent to watch some of the MTV Movie Awards ceremony (we catered the after party, which is always a drunk-fest, but fewer and fewer celebrities each year, mostly just hangers-on) and Holmes was accepting an award for… what, best newcomer, maybe? I don’t now for sure. Then, on Sunday was the Pediatric AIDS benefit and she came up to me for a soda. I congratulated her on her MTV Movie Awards win (what timing!), she was at least a bit, umm, what’s the word, sheepish, about it. But what stood out was that her tongue was SUPER BLUE. She had been eating some blue candy apparently – had it on her hands, too – but it made her look just like an All-American kid. Celebrities of all ages tended to like this charity function because they could really relax and be like kids. Or, as in the case of Holmes, be themselves.

Any celebrities come off like total dicks? Not just having a bad day, but just complete assholes in and of themselves?

Are there a lot of hanger-on types at parties?

Based on similar threads, I’ve been pretty fortunate to not have any bad tastes left in my mouth. The only guy who struck me as a real dick was Ryan Seacrest (American Idol host & L.A. morning deejay). He stood about five feet away from my bar staring at me with a look that said he wanted to fight me. I don’t doubt for a second the guy has dick moments, but there were something a bit wrong with him at that moment.

The other was Val Kilmer, who was less a dick and more just weird, but I could see where reports about this guy being a self-absorbed asshole are very much valid. First, he sent his SO to my bar, standing about 15 feet behind her. And he was wearing dark sunglasses, sort of like he was being a voyeur. Another time he came ot me and, I can’t put it in words, but there was jut this uncomfortable vibe he gave off. But he was not a dick to me.

I could be way off the mark on this, but at the “Eyes Wide Shut” premiere, Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn were there and I recall Kurt saying to Goldie, “Honey, Val’s here.” He made it sound like he was pointing out a friend (they starred together in “Tombstone”) but I bet dollars to donuts that he was actually warning/alerting her. I worked a lesbian wedding (for their assistant I believe it was) at their home and they are super people. In fact, when they shut the doors to the main room to do the ceremony, I ran to the car to get a camera and we pulled Goldie’s Oscar off the mantle and took pictures with it. A few months later, she went into an agency where one of our caters worked days. He showed her the picture of him with her Oscar and she laughed her ass off.

As far as the eye can see.

In keeping with the kka question, have you encountered many reality TV “stars”?

Also, is there a social seperation between big stars and B-Listers?

Have you witnessed any interaction between two celebs who made you think “I can’t believe Batman is talking to Forrest Gump!” or something like that? Any good celeb mingling stories that come to mind? Do most of them talk to each other or people you don’t recognize?

First oiff, Moonchild, I can’t thank you enough for this thread. It’s fascinating to me; I’ve always wondered how my favorite people are when they’re not “on”.

The folks who finally got me to comment are Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn – I’ve always wanted to meet them, and John Travolta, too, though I can’t for the life of me tell you why. I just thought they’d be interesting to know.

Anyway, I’m rambling, but, thanks again! :smiley:

As you might imagine, Reality TV players have a short shelf life,

Oddly, I have, but the only ones I can recall from behind the bar were Colby from Survivor at a pre-Oscar party (couldn’t tell much from him other than he’s gained wait and drank Bud Light), and from working the finale episode of Survivor Season 2. (Colby, Jerri Manthey, and the nurse – that season.) I should point out that the only reality shows I’ve watched were parts of season 1 & 2 of Survivor and the Survivor All-Star season, so many other show’s players could have come to me and I wouldn’t know. But I doubt it. Reality stars are pretty disposable.

I didn’t get a great bar at that Surivor finale, so I missed out on Jerri (whom I think looks pretty hot when she hasn’t been in the bush for a month) and many of the other big shots. I recall Ambuh behaving a bit snooty even though she did virtually nothing on the show and could even have won with like one or two simple strategic moves. She acted like she was hot shit. Then the vegetarian chick (also appeared on Survivor All-Stars, but her name escapes me) was super-nice, glib, thrilled to be where she was and still recognized that she was just a regular person: no pretense about her. And there was that season’s gay guy, I think Jeff was his name. He was very friendly with the caterers – the majority of whom are gay – and hung out until past the party was over, even stayed around while we were cleaning up. And I can’t blame the guy one bit: he probably knew is 15 minutes were ticking down and wanted to soak it up for all it was worth. I can’t even blame Amber for her behavior. This had to be a bit surreal for them (to say nothing of her subsequent $-million win on the All-Star season).

Now here’s the curious part: I kept bumping into players from Season 1 just out and about in L.A. One Halloween night the quirky Harvard guy Greg walked into the bar at which we were partying with Colleen, the sweet girl who ended up starring in the Rob Schneider movie, “Animal.” They proclaimed they were just friends after the show, but this was almost two years after that season aired. Maybe it’s hard to identify with others when you’ve done that gig. Greg was aloof, same as he was on the show, and Colleen was very down-to-earth, was happy to talk to a group of us and talk about the show and her experiences. She said it was all silly, the attention and when the movie was over she was going home and returning to a normal life. I envy her inner peace. Odd couple, her and Greg. Odder was the way so many girls at the bar ran and squealed and sidled up to Greg. They thought he was God.

And then I bumped into the pre-school teacher that everyone loved in Santa Monica (don’t remember her name, either, but she was the first victim of the first alliance). She was handing out ads or maybe taking polls outside the Discovery Channel store for something for the Weather Channel. Very pleasant, great vibe, appreciated my compliment. I think I bumped into another Survivor from that first season, but just don’t remember whom or where.

Based on my experiences, I can’t honestly say. I’ve never noticed.

Mmm, I have to think about that one some more (Jeez, I should have been doing that the last few days when i wasn’t on the board!) Tom Hanks and Mel Gibson I guess was interesting (pre-Oscar party at ICM agent Ed Limato’s home), but primarily due its star power and little more. Ed Norton’s date at the Pitt/Aniston wedding was Salma Hayek, but I know that’s not exactly what you mean. At the “Eyes Wide Shut” premiere, I remember seeing Francis Ford Copolla lounging with Winona Ryder and an actor I don’t recall and he appeared to be spewing in a very bigshot way about life, about what it’s all about. That one stands out. Maybe they just fell into the circumstances and Coppola was cornered, but it seemed more like he was getting off on playing mentor.

There are some very good celebrity mingling stories, but the best one I know of actually occurred with my wife, whom does Tarot Card reading at these types of parties (and despite her acting aspirations, doesn’t really know most stars). It was a pre-Golden Globes at producer Mike Medavoy’s house and instead of doing her Tarot Card reading (which she’s comfortable with), some makeup company was putting down a chunk of change for advertising and required the psychics to do lip reading. That is: put lipstick on the guest and then read the blotted kleenaxe. So, this one movie star didn’t have a place a sit and eat and asked Madison if it would be okay to sit at her station. “Only if you get a lipstick reading!” The star acquiesed and other stars walked by making comments as she applied the lipstick. Oh, and party organizers were freaking because it wasn’t your usual set of circumstances. But the reading my wife gave rang true with the star and everybody went away happy. Gossip mag reporters interviewed my wife afterwards about the experience.

The star: Morgan Freeman. Very pleasant, low key, played along and got a kick out of it. My wife had no idea who it was. :smack:

Another funny story that comes to mind (that also didn’t involve me) was at the E.T. re-release premiere. For whatever reason, there was a lot of autograph signing going on (which seldom happens at these types of events). At some point, one of our caterers, walked by Steven Spielberg’s table, just in the midst of his regular duties and Spielberg reached out, grabbed the guy’s entry badge and autographed it! I guess he thought he was an autograph seeker or something, but I was crazy jealous! (Moonchild is a big Spielberg fan.) I made a meager offer to trade him the bottle of Dom Perignon I snuck out of the Pitt/Aniston wedding, but his only response was, “I hate ‘Friends,’” and that was that.

Spielberg’s a very likable guy, BTW. Struck me as a guy without much pretense. No star sparkliness or anything, just regular guy (while still being Steven Spielberg, of course). Struck me as the kind of guy would be happily to sit and have lunch with you and just talk movies or dinosaurs or whatever. (I had Dee Stone’s table that night: the Mom from E.T., also super nice, but it seemed like everybody from the cast was thrilled to be there.)

For what it’s worth, I am the last person to serve Brad Pitt as a single man. He ran to my bar just before taking the altar because his mouth was dry. Perrier, no ice, but a lime. He appeared very relaxed, but tied the knot 30 seconds later. I said something stupid like, “Go get 'em!” Well not that lame, but close.

Of course, I won’t be able to make the above claim after the divorce.

Should I just go on when other stuff pops into my head?

Gosh, thanks. I’m glad somebody is enjoying it (but I hasten to say I’m not sure it’s the majority).

I had one of those surreal moments at that lesbian weddng at Kurt and Goldie’s. I was in the kitchen before the event began, don’t remember what I was doing, but Kurt walked in, we made eye contact, and it was a really long eye contact. Not unfriendly, more like a cosmic recognition of each other, like we knew each other from long, long ago (past lives, anyone???). I am a big fan of Russell the actor and to have that moment was really special. And I got to light Goldie’s cigarette that night to boot!

I had that eye contact thing with actor/director Ed Burns once also. What to make of these things???

Keep it up! You’ve got a great thread going, Moonchild. I’m not normally the type to give a rat’s ass about celebrity gossip, but for some reason I can’t quite put my finger on, I find this thread interesting. Maybe it’s the fact that the way you’re describing these people makes them sound… well… like people! Some are arrogant, some down-to-earth, and some are plain weird - just like regular folks.

I guess I can’t really think of any questions, as I don’t have too many favorite celebs. Jon Stewart, maybe. Ever served him?

Yes, please!

I never waited on him, but he emceed at an MTV Movie Awards one year (I believe he emceed; I don’t think he was just a guest, but I could be wrong), along with Lisa Kudrow. What most struck me about it (previously mentioned in this thread) is that the Stewart was smoking cigarette after cigarette during every break. But he seemed pretty regular, maybe embracing his popularity a little bit at the time. Just his attitude and body language gave me that feeling, maybe some slight pretense, but by no means a jerk. And I must say, given that this was before he became such a hit with the “Daily Show,” but after his late night talk show got canned after dismal ratings (which I thought was terrific, kept telling my best friend Todd that this Jon Stewart guy was a scream), this may have been one of those times when Stewart recognized that he was truly fast on his way to climbing up the mountain.

But mostly I just remember the smoking. But then, Kudrow ran out to smoke it seemed during each break, too. Guess it’s a just little stressful to host an awards show, no matter how talented or funny you are.

You know, this thread is revealing a lot of pent-up interest in your experiences with these people. It occurs to me that perhaps a book is in the making. I don’t know what sort of contraints you may be under regarding confidentiality agreements, and I don’t know if a publisher would think it was “sexy” enough in terms of dirt and sensationalism, but it probably wouldn’t hurt to check into it. These days, with all that is available to would-be publishers over the Internet you might even be able to publish it yourself. I’d check into it if I were you. I’d probably buy such a book if it was small, inexpensive and a quick read.

Well, okay.

If I were writing a book instead of a thread entry, I think I would begin the intro with pointing that I never planned to revolve my life around miniscule celebrity interactions – it just sorta happened that way – but it doesn’t take a major leap to say I could have manifested it. I had an obsession with TV and over-the-top fascination with celebritydom as a kid, even though I didn’t think much of it then. I guess that puts me in the same group as just about everyone else who didn’t grow up on the West Side of Los Angeles, where celebrity sightings are somewhat common. When I was around 12 or 13, a woman on our street was on a game show (“The Liar’s Club”), which I thought was just the most awesome accomplishment in the world. For that moment, she was celebrity to me and had me captured. (Actually, I thought she was pretty sexy and when I discovered, umm, myself, she was a prime sexual fantasy, so I guess she always had me captured – and there’s even a double meaning right there, too.)

Just to show how pathetic I was, I also recall sucking up to a guy at the gym who had appeared on a Bud Light commercial – that I never even saw! Yeah, there was something unnatural about this. That was about 20 years ago.

In my early 20’s I joined a fast-pitch softball team in the (San Fernando) Valley and Christopher Atkins was our first baseman. I nearly came out of my skin when I saw him. It was also coincidental: a couple years earlier I was confused for him in a hotel (think “A Night in Heaven”/“Dallas” period). Even though we became friends, I was always just a bit more electrified in his presence. Wow, a real life celebrity on my team!!! I still couldn’t get over it through an entire season. Then, during our team dinner, a woman approached Chris’s girlfriend (maybe it was his wife) and mentioned something about a charity tennis tournament and Grant Goodeve or something and then the woman proceeded to chatter in the ears of Atkins and his SO for what seemed like an hour. The tennis tournament and Goodeve was the lady’s “in” to say, “Hey, we’re the same, now let me become energized by your presence.” I was no different, but at that moment was at least able to recognize it. Not that I behaved much differently when I started getting all the up-close-and-personals. At least not at first.

For the record, Atkins was a very real and very regular guy. Maybe coming from a child actor background, he had been taught not to make notice of one’s celebritydom, but he seemed to handle it effortlessly. Even though he was pretty much on the downside of his career as an actor by this time, he still got approached often. The only time he made reference to his fame was when opposing players would ask him if they went to high school together because they couldn’t figure out from where they recognized him.

About 10 years ago, Atkins was a surprise fill-in on a team I played for and, thankfully, that agitation I had in while in his presence before was finally gone. It was great to see him. It would be great to see him now.

I just discovered celebritydom is not actually a word! Perhaps it will be by the time this thread is finished!

Speaking as someone who comes up with the same sort of words all the time, I’d say that “celebritydom” and “celebrityhood” would both work for me. :wink: