My first inclination was to give it to Mr. Fantastic based on his scientific knowledge, but I think before he had a chance to come up with a gadget to take out the other two, he’d be really confused and knocked unconscious by Plastic Man, who’d assume about 1000 different forms in the first 5 minutes.
Elongated Man, being a skilled detective, would be the one to figure out who it was that forced them all to fight in the first place, and Fantastic would come up with a solution they could use to defeat their mutual enemy/crossover writer.
Without resorting to really weird DK2-esque gauges of his power (“He could kill us all!”), Plastic Man still wins, just because he’s more likely to go nuts and be more than Mr. Fantastic or Ralph could deal with on their own (unless Reed comes equipped with the Ultimate Nulifier or something).
And in recent JLA, Plastic Man has been shown to be practically immortal.
I vote for Mr. Fantastic. Check out a really old issue of The Fantastic Four – I think it is around 43 or 44, Fenris would know – where the Frightful Four have brainwashed the Thing and have Mr. Fantastic at their mercy. See how he gets out of that. He may not be as pliable as Plas, but no comic human can outthink Reed Richards .
In response to Max Carnage’s question of a good news/discussion site, might I promote my own “Monitor Duty” at http://www.monitorduty.com ? We’re sort of a Paul Harvey Comic Book News and Comment. We patrol the different company sites and news sites, then we link-to and discuss the items of interest. You can also subscribe and get a summary of the days’ news posts mailed to you once a day.
We used to run a DC comic book fanzine called Fanzing (which hopefully many of you have heard of), and the archives for Fanzing are still accessible from the MD main page, or from http://www.fanzing.com/archives/
Now…as for the question of a three way battle royale between Plastic Man, Elongated Man and Mr. Fantastic…I wrote up just such a story as a lark back in April of 2000 for our 80 Web Page Giant issue: http://www.fanzing.com/mag/fanzing26/feature19.shtml
Ralph Dibny and Reed Richards are much more comparable than is Plastic Man, who tends to be in a class of his own. Both Ralph and Reed are stretchers, not shapeshifters; they’re both geniuses; they’re both rich; they’re both married to women named Susan!
As for “What’s Elongated Man up to?” Scott Beatty told me that it’s issue #41 of Gotham Knights that will feature Ralph and Sue Dibny. (I can’t wait.)
To read more about Elongated Man, the Library of Fanzing recommends the World’s Only Elongated Man Web Site, Dibny Dirt: http://www.fanzing.com/dibnydirt/
(It’s a very old site from back before I took over Fanzing. It’s badly in need of updating, if I only had the time, but it did get a recent redesign. Check it out, if you will!)
After Marvels came out there was another mini-series along the same lines, but it seemed to be an Elseworlds set in the Marvel Universe. It still had the one-eyed photographer guy as the centerpiece, but it was very dark and bleak, and it seems that they changed artists in the middle of the series.
It was called Ruins, by Warren Ellis. (The artist(s) escape me at the moment.) The premise was that Murphy’s law had run amok in the Marvel Universe, such that everything that could have gone wrong did. For example:
-Ben Grimm decided NOT to fly Reed Richards’ shuttle because the shielding was too weak. Reed got Victor von Doom instead, who wasn’t as talented as Ben in piloting. The cosmic radiation mutated and killed them.
-Instead of Hulking out, Bruce Banner became a mass of cancer and is now kept underground by the U.S. military.
-Peter Parker became infected with an irradiated virus (which Phil Sheldon also had).
-Charles Xavier had a disastrous reign as the President of the U.S., his presidency burdened by a Vietnam-type was in Genosha.
-Wolverine had bones, not claws, come out of his hands.
-The Silver Surfer tore open his own lungs outside Earth’s orbit in an effort to breathe again. This caused Galactus to starve to death after unsuccessfully trying to eat Mars.
There were other fun nuggets: Jean Grey was a hooker, Matt Murdock died of radiation burns, Donald Blake never found his hammer, but went crazy from knowing that he was supposed to be a norse God; Mystique’s brain imploded from being unable to control her shape-changing; the Kingpin ran a penitentiary for mutants (this was a particularly disturbing scene, topped off with Quicksilver having been shown to have had his limbs amputated), and so on. The whole two issues were intended to make the reader sick, and Ellis did a fine job of it. Quoth the author from his own website:
Oh yeah, and the second issue was notoriously late. It probably has something to do with the fact that it changed arists midway through part 2.
I might be pressing my luck with this one, but maybe someone remembers. A while back I read an issue of Superman in which he completely lost his powers when dressed as Clark Kent. The stupid part was that he could function normally when in his super-duds, but if he was even wearing the tiniest bit of Clark-clothing he became powerless. I remember him fighting a robot or something and trying desperately to get his socks off so he could gain his powers back. For some reason this stuck in my mind because it was so absurd. The problem is, I never got to read the next issue. I never found out who… or what… was behind this. Can anybody please tell me what happens? If it helps, I remember in the same issue he smuggled his super-suit into a hospital by folding it up really tiny and swallowing it.
Yup. GREAT story, one of Superman’s best. Written by one of the best Superman writers, Elliott S! Maggin. You’re remembering the first issue of the arc.
It was in Superman 296-299.
The premise, as Fabio stated: Superman’s had a crappy couple of weeks and things get worse when Superman finds that he can’t do super-stuff in his Clark Kent clothes. It’s so serious that he’s not even invulnerable in his civies. IIRC, he scalds himself.
He decides that the strain of leading a double life was causing him to psychosomatically lose his powers, so he needed to make a choice: Clark Kent or Superman. Which will he be?
The second issue of the arc, Clark resolves not to become Superman unless someone immediately around him will die otherwise. He’s tempted several times, but the police, fire departments, etc do their jobs and somehow, things muddle by.
Superman also (since he doesn’t have his powers) is able to beat the sh*t out of Steve Lomard (who deserved it) and then gets hot smoochies with Lois. Overall, things go pretty well.
The next issue has him resolve to only be Superman for a week. “Clark” goes on vacation and he’s Superman 24/7. Although he does some good work, EVERY time he tries to relax, someone finds some crisis or other. He gets no personal or down time. But damn he did a lot of good without having to be Clark. Supes decides to wait a few days and make his final decision as to whether he’s man or super-man.
The final issue
It turns out that it wasn’t psychological at all. There’d been an ongoing back story (for like 3 years) that Clark’s next door neighbor was an alien who was UP TO NO GOOD. To prepare for an invasion they decided to f*ck with Superman’s mind. All Clark’s clothes were treated with something that blocked out “yellow solar radiation”. Superman figures it out and stops the invasion. He also realizes he needs both identities to be happy. Things return to normal.
I remember reading the stories as they came out and was blown away by how good they were.
How does Doctor Strange make his money? I can’t imagine he’d have much in the way of expenses, but he’s got to pay power bills, the rent on his brownstone, food, water, clothing, that sorta thing.
(If it turns out that he just ‘magics’ stuff up, I’m going to feel like an idiot.)
Actually, in the Essential Dr. Strange, there’s one story where the Doc makes a big deal about not having any money. I believe he goes on TV or something to do so, but the memory’s fuzzy.
I do remember, however, that literally one or two issues later, Wong complains about how they’re out of money again, and Strange says something to the effect of “Bah, money matters not to me!” and whips up a huge pile of gold and jewels out of nowhere. Guess he must have finally gotten around to reading that chapter of “Handy Everyday Magic Tips.”
I sort of dropped the X-titles before they explained - so can anyone fill me in on the Penance - Monet - twins - Emplate connection? Other than that they’re related? And that Emplate was feeding on Penance - I got that.
It’s also been nearly forever since I bought any Elfquest. Does anyone admit to doing that? Have they published anything recently?
At least slacking off of comics helped me one way. By the time I found out about the Sandman, our library had all the graphic novels.
M/Monet, something happend to her that caused her to turn into Penance, perhaps to do with Emplate, while the twins turned into Monet, while Monet was Penance.
Something like that.
I don’t know how long you’ve been gone, but Warp went to nearly total TPB format a few years back, though they do put out a yearly Summer Special. I think the latest TPB is called “In All But Blood” and it’s a collection of (mostly) new stories about Skywise and Cutter and their bond. Warp Graphics is now in bed with DC, and I’m hoping against hope that they get Warner Bros. backing for the infinitely delayed movie! More info on that at www.elfquest.com. I’m still in mourning for Kahvi, myself. I loved that bitch…
Erm…yes, anyway. I have a question for any Marvelites out there who remember Amanda Sefton aka Daytripper aka Magik II aka Nightcrawler’s foster-sister/lover/hip-ornament. What the hell ever happened to her? I stopped reading Excalibur after Ellis left, so I’ve got no knowledge of anything after Excalibur #110. Last I heard she was calling herself Magik and tripping about in Limbo and…well, it just sounded very bad and I was wondering after her final fate is all.
Thanks, Fenris. I can’t believe they stretched that story out over four issues. Somehow the ending isn’t quite what I’d imagined. I was thinking maybe he’d started using the wrong detergent or something. You comic people really are amazing. Is your superpower the ability to remember any issue, no matter how obscure?
And what’s up with Clark Kent’s glasses? Couldn’t that Kryptonian super brain come up with a mustache or wig or any real disguise?
Which issue of Supes “reveals” that the glasses have some sort of super-hypnotic quality (so Clark really doesn’t look like a 220lb. muscleman to anyone who sees him with the glasses on)?
Ok…opinions on why Liefield lasted as long as he did?
Sorry but the guy just irks me to such a degree that in my local comic shop the name is synonimous with ‘no talent hack’
The guy that did Dragonbert (in Savage Dragon) roasted him beautifully in conjunction with Erik Larsens weird way of holding his pencil when drawing (in case you did not see it…Liefield was pictured drawing with a pencil stuck out of his ass)
Also…who do you guys consider the ones who have actually damaged the industry and why?
