Ask the Devil's Advocate

I am the counter-point to your oh-so-precious point. Ask away…

Why is there evil in the world?

Does my butt look okay in these pants?

Why did the Pope sack you from the canonisation process?

One man’s evil is another man’s job security. I may or may not be talking about Yours Truly.

Those pants? J.Lo’s butt wouldn’t look good in those pants.

You try and play Devil’s Advocate to the frikkin’ pope. Tough crowd to say the least. Besides playing DA in defense of my own station got a little meta.

…of course, he didn’t get all uppity until I asked him ‘what’s with the pointy hat?’ That chain of discourse may (or may not) have lead to my sacking.

(golf clap)


No one ever wants to hear what I have to say. I get it.

I assume the Westboro Baptist folks are on your payroll, who else?


Can God pose a question so abstract that even He couldn’t argue either for or against it?

Oh those freaks? Naw, they’re just my little hobby. I tell those yucks anything, and they turn in into a beautiful obsenity. I’m thinking this year of off-handedly inquiring how god feels about cosplay. Fanatics vs. fanatics… I’m going big this year.

when I pointed out more evil has been done in His name than good, he started to say something, then he just kinda chuckled to himself and wandered off mumbling.

Now most days he spends in his room with the curtains drawn.

Of the 7 deadly sins, what’s your client’s favourite?

I think we all know the answer to this, but spammers, telemarketers, hackers who steal everyone’s passwords - they all work for your boss, right?

Copyright infringement and thunder-stealing is generally considered wrong. What’s your angle on that?

Great minds and all that. :wink:

We’re both fans of Sloth. I mean, really, it was the best part in Se7en.

Actually no. Even Satan himself hates having to empty his junk mail, blacklist his phone number or change his passwords. Most of the reason why he avoids Twitter.

Luckily this job isn’t under copyright protection, and in matters like these, one always claims their idea was original. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. That said, props to you, us lesser DA’s should really try the search engine here more often, but it’s such a drag.

Why is there good, when the greatest events in human history depend on its defeat?

Why not just get rid of it - it is no more than a speed bump in history?

Hey bub, I’m with ya. In fact this question was part of my interview. Truth is, the higher-ups know this, but keep it in play as it prolongs their entertainment while entropy winds up for its final pitch.

Besides, for some ultimate, fundamental dichotomy it came down to Good vs. Evil or Puppies vs. Clowns. I don’t think anyone has the stomach for the latter. Such is the nature of the Omniverse.

So which gets the biggest chuckle?


“Truth”? (talk about 2-faced…)

or, the ever-changing

I mean, I get a nasty chuckle out of all of them, but the “Justice” bit is simply beyond brilliant in its cynicism…