-
In your state, do funeral directors have a preferential lien on the estate, and if so, how often do you have to rely on it?
-
Which communities tend to have paid mourners?
-
How do you deal with the regulars who pop in for the free lunch at receptions?
-
Do you go through red lights during a procession that does not have a police escort?
In my observation, most funeral processions do not have police escorts. Instead, they have guys on motorcycles that look like police bikes, and the riders are dressed like cops.
Because of physical changes that occur after death it is inherently difficult - albeit not impossible - to put shoes on the decdent. Additionally, because typically during either a viewing or a funeral the lower portion from waist down is not visible. Again if wearing shoes is requested by a family we will our bedt to accommodate.
My mortuary has never put a lien on an estate - it may however be SOP for other funeral homes. Though it borders on a legal issue I think that anyone who feels that they are owed money are free to put a lien, though I ammnot certain thus is actually the case in California.
Some Korean and Chinese traditional funerals hire professional mourners. This is a cultural preference and not all Korean or Chinese funerals have the professional mourners.
Because nowadays people do not respect funeral processions and because of the inherent danger faced when having a large convoy, most families do not choose to have a traditional processional unless the cemetery is within a short distance of the church. When a processional is required we prefer to work with a unit either comprised of off duty motorcycle police officers or on some circumstances on duty police. Traffic laws are obeyed, but with a long processional the officers may hold traffic to allow for the procession to proceed through a red light.
These services also exist as you mentioned but there are motorcade services that employ police officers for this purpose, albeit for a substantially higher fee. Even though they are more expensive, however, since I am of the opinion that they command more respect I typically would suggest these outfits to my families.
BTW: It is far safer to have everyone drive safely to the burial on their own and omitt a processional.
Sorry missed your question about reception crashers. We really have not had an issue with regular crashers, but for large public reception events we recommend hiring security officers - we have a list of LAPD Detectives that will provide plainclothes security details for these events.
We had a few. Usually one of the doormen would be able to gently and politely steer an interloper away, but once inside the doors, we usually did nothing, for it would not be worth the risk of disturbing the family.
I agree that unless it is necessary it is far better not to disturb the family if the crasher is low key. Best not to call too much attention to the issue. Additionally there is the additional challenge of determining whether or not the person is a legitimate attendee in the case of a publically announced service. The only real time we intervene is when a family member requests that the person be removed.
Sounds like you are part of the industry too so this means we are automatically brothers!
You do realize, don’t you, that was the entire plot arch of Six Feet Under, right? :dubious:
So I take it that show was fairly accurate?
Not any more – paid my way through my first degree working at a funeral home. Excellent job, excellent employers.
Apparently they lifted this recurring plot element from the industry news of the day. Makes sense since it was and still is a big point of issue in the industry and makes for a compelling story arc - you know, little guy vs. the big bad corporation. I learned later that the producers consulted a number of directors in the Los Angeles when putting that show together.
Still brothers as far as I am concerned. As a director, even a former one, you have been privy to a set of experiences with your fellow man that is unique to those who have had the honor of serving the bereaved.
Have you ever done a mormon funeral? Do you allow a family member to dress the deceased in the temple garments for burial, or do you expect the mormon family to turn over the clothing for the funeral home to do it? That might be considered sacreligious to mormons, who I would think would insist on dressing their family member personally (so the clothing is put on correctly). If the funeral home does it, how do they know (for example) which way the sash goes?
We have handled services for members if the Mormon community in the past. We can certainly allow a family to dress their loved one on their own or alternatively we can take care of dressing their loved one in the traditional white garments if they prefer. We have consulted with Mormon ministers in the past to make sure that the actions we take are appropriate within the confines of their religious customs.
Admittedly we have not handled that many arrangements for Mormon services, but we welcome the opportunity to serve anyone who honors us with that privilege. It is always our pledge to do whatever we can for anyone who seeks out our help in their time of need.
How did you get interested in this line of work?
Graves are something he just fell into?
I shoot video, concerts mainly, but over the past few years I’ve shot memorial services for my brother-in-law who died after a long illness, a friend’s best friend who committed suicide and another friend of a friend who died after a short illness. In the case of my brother-in-law, I webcast the service for the benefit of the relatives who were not able to attend, including one niece who was stationed with the Army in Germany. I created DVDs of the memorials for the family members and photo montages for two of the funerals. In every case, the funeral directors were welcoming and accommodating, and I endeavored to be as discreet and respectful as possible - dark suit, right at the very back of the room.
Is this a service your home offers? Is it common? And could I make a living at this?
Did I just kill another thread?
A couple of questions, both related to your statement that your company is a family owned business:
(1) I understand that this is becoming rare as chain operations are becoming widespread. Is this true, and how is it affecting your business and the industry as a whole.
(2) While I am sure it is not the case with your business, is there much of the other kind of “Family” influence in the industry?
I’ve always wanted to be carried at shoulder height. Given my length, I’ll probably need eight pallbearers.
After the death of a relative, I was impressed by the staff at this funeral home and their efforts to make a difficult time in my family’s life easier to bear. Inveitably it was this experience that led me to try this out. Even though I make less now, it has been the most rewarding postion I have ever had.