Umkay-Even consider getting Dragon software?
Still swooning over here, Jimmy. 
Hi etv78, I think she already said in a previous post that she uses Dragon. Yeah, I’m pretty sure of it, saying something about having to program it for zombie words.
And in the spirit of the Straight Dope, my contrary opinion is that this thread and the OP are really.. oh, who am I kidding? This thread and umkay are awesome, and I’ve read all ten pages of it!
So my question original question was this: umkay, you said earlier that one of the things a friend could suggest that you’d do together is getting coffee. How would the logistics of this work? Say I call you up and say, ‘Yo! umkay! You busy? Let’s get some coffee.’ So we meet up, not as a date or anything, but just two buds. Would I be helping you to drink the coffee? Would a carer come along? If the former, does the fact that it’s a hot beverage introduce any additional challenges?
Anyway, then you said you don’t like coffee, and avoid caffeine in general, so what would you get if we went out for coffee?
Anyway, thanks for a great thread. Much ignorance fought.
Searched the thread, using “dragon”, our two posts were the only 2 I found. I believe she dictates to a PCA.
She didn’t specify Dragon, but she did say she uses voice-recognition software sometimes, in addition to dictating to her carer at other times.
voltaire-that’s what I get for using a brand name. 
So you don’t have spasticity? When you say that your arms and legs are spindly and skinny, that would suggest flaccidity and/or a lack of spasms. Why is this? My paralysis is flaccid because it is ischemic; due to loss of blood (and oxygen). Does yours have anything to do with the complete severing of your cord?
Do you ever think about what severe spasticity would be like? :eek: I can’t imagine. But the silver lining of dealing with it is it maintains a degree of muscle mass to the paralyzed limbs. One of the myriad reasons “blessed but cursed” is my little mantra.
In other words, umkay just how hot are you?
Okay, couldn’t resist that one. Seriously, I am curious about the temp monitoring question.
And, for the record, I am married - very happily so - and not hitting on you!
Perhaps of relevant interest is the new TV reality show “Push Girls.” I’m sure it will be Hollywood-ized, but it does seem to break some new ground, rather like this thread.
Cherchez l’homme* 
Well, for starters, parents should not be in the room. :smack: Of course, I appreciate that pediatric SCIs like mine present a dilemma regarding when exactly to bring this stuff up, and how to do that in an appropriate way. But, seriously, no other 16 year old I know had to watch a soft-core with their mom…
Second, it should be emphasized that nobody truly knows what your body is capable of. Too many doctors speak in absolutes; but I’ve met dads in chairs who were told they’d never father children (hello, Justin Street!), and I was told that I’d never experience an orgasm (ha!). The body is a mysterious thing and the sexual impulse is a hard one to hold down. Doctors should respect this and encourage the injured person to explore all they want/can to find their own personal boundaries.
That being said, as much time as possible should be spent on options for sexual activity. SCIs are more complicated for men, sexually, and I’ve never dated a dude in a chair, so I don’t know all the specifics there. But, for both genders, there’s plenty of (NSFW) adaptive equipment that can make sex fun and exciting and more accessible for both partners.
Ah, yes. I’m aware that my profession often gets (and gives itself) a black eye. There are bad eggs in every field, and for some reason a higher percentage find themselves attracted to recruiting. Maybe it seems easy? To do it well, it’s most certainly not easy. That’s why a lot of people fall flat on their faces (and embarrass the industry) when they attempt it.
Anyway, my track record of very satisfied clients and candidates speaks for itself. I know I provide an extremely valuable service to them…if I didn’t, they’d stop calling and referring me.
You’re too kind. Thank you.
F*ck hands. If I could just have one shoulder, one elbow, and one wrist back, I’d be over the moon. I could feed myself, apply my own makeup, scratch my own freaking nose…
I’m sure you’re great! But Ambi wasn’t the only one who didn’t know what that was - I Googled it before you told him to. I wasn’t aware people even recruited anymore! (:
Ha! No worries. I thought it was funny.
I can tell if I’m cold or hot…eventually. Unfortunately, by the time I notice a chill or flush on my neck and face, it’s bad news. So yeah, my attendants tell where I’m at temp-wise by touching the skin on my arms or legs a few times a day, but a better indicator is the weather.
In a normal indoor temperature (mid-70s), I’ll probably be a little chilly–most quads run cool–but it’s not life-threatening. They’ll just throw a blanket or a sweater on me.
The real problems come when I’m in temperatures significantly above or below that normal indoor range. I’ll get my temp checked via thermometer a couple times a day if I’m in a really hot or really cold place (Hawaii, Tahoe).
If I’m overheating outside, I need to get to the shade (if I’m not already in it). I bought one of those funny “cooling towels” years ago, so someone will get that wet and put in on my neck. And I’ll drink some icy water. If that doesn’t work, I just have to leave the beach and get somewhere with A/C.
In cold climates, I have to wear heavier clothes than what an AB might. If my temp drops too far, I have a sweater or a blanket put on me. I also will drink a warm beverage, like tea or hot cocoa. Again, if my temp doesn’t rise fast, I need to get somewhere with heat.
Oh, and I also have little hot and cold packs (you know the kind that activate when you scrunch 'em?) that I carry just in case.
Yes, I can get a fever, and I sometimes do when I’m sick. But it’s not more frequent than for able-bodied folks.
That’s weird! I didn’t name Dragon software in this thread? I love the stuff and have been using it for years. I could’ve sworn I had mentioned it…
Oh, that’s the problem! I found it–it was in my devotee thread. Anyway, here’s my post there, verbatim:
You had me worried for a second there. I almost called my attendant to help me into my flame suit. 
You are really paying attention, aren’t you? You’re right–I don’t drink coffee, but “getting coffee” has become shorthand for “let’s go to a coffee shop,” which is something I do enjoy. I don’t get coffee, but can I confess something here? I freaking love those little Horizon Vanilla Milk things at Starbucks! I also really like the Tazo iced green tea. They’re both cold and come with a straw, so it’s no biggie for someone to help me with them. (Yes, hot beverages are trickier, but I’m just careful and use a straw. In fact, I use a straw to drink everything. Even beer and wine. I’d prefer not to, but it’s better than having someone–who may be drunk themselves–try to pour it into my mouth, which usually ends up with me in my own personal wet tshirt contest). :smack:
Would I bring along a caregiver? Depends on several factors. But, if you’re a really good friend, probably not. With a good pal, it’ll probably go like this: You’ll call me and say hey, let’s get coffee (you know what I mean). I’ll be like, sounds great! You’ll drive to my house, load me up in my van, and drive that to the coffee shop. Once there, I’ll order my own drink and you’ll grab my wallet and pay for mine with my money. We’ll find a table, and you’ll ditch one of the chairs (I bring my own, har har). You’ll take a drink of your drink, then offer me one, chat, drink, offer, chat, etc.
If I don’t know you that well yet, say we just met, I’ll probably at the very least have my helper drive me to the coffee shop; I hate to inconvenience people. I also always try to gauge what’s the least uncomfortable thing for you: Having a third person sit with us and help me drink/eat, or having you help me with those things. If the latter is weirder, then I’ll just have my caregiver join us (they’re all really nice ladies). But if that’s actually the weirder option, I’ll have her wait for us somewhere discrete (maybe she reads a magazine in the van with the AC on; maybe she comes into the shop, but sits at a table across the room and has a drink of her own).
It goes without saying that, if we’re meeting for business, I will most definitely bring a carer with me. She will drive me to the prearranged meeting place and do anything that needs doing for me while we meet. Obviously.
That would make one hell of a Monty Python sketch.
I llke your mantra.
Ah, yes, the curse/blessing of spasticity: better muscle tone, worse quality of life (for some). For better or for worse, like many other completes, I don’t have much spasticity at all. My arms and legs are pretty atrophied as a result, gah. But I knew a low quad who had such bad spasms that she occasionally flew right out of her chair. No, thank you! :eek: I know some people with more function than me can actually use their spasms to their benefit, triggering a spasm at the right moment to grasp an object or even stand up. But since my injury is so high, spasticity would only be a detriment.
Of course, that isn’t to say that I never have spasms. In the car, sometimes my arm will fall off my arm rest; when that happens, my arm will spasm as a result, bending at the elbow and flying up towards my chest, sometimes landing in my lap. And my leg will sometimes kick out if my parents’ dogs jump up and put their paws on my lap (they don’t do that much anymore, as you can imagine). These small spasms I don’t mind, because they’re so infrequent and don’t cause any major problems for me. If anything, it’s kind of fun to see my body move again on its own once in awhile.
Side-note: I’ve never known someone with paralysis due to ischemia before. Do you mind my asking how that works and/or how it happened? Of course, feel free to ignore this question. After all, it wasn’t you who started this thread, inviting the whole world to ask questions about your life.