Wait, what?!?!
That and the coffee mug, yeah.
Oooh, ooh. I think I am the closest thing to a rocket scientist participating in this thread, so I’ll take this one. (I tell people I’m a rocket scientist, because unless you actually are a rocket scientist, it is hard to explain why I am not. And when I attempt to do so, eyes rollback, followed quickly by unconsciousness.)
No, you don’t need wings to stabilize a rocket, but taking advantage of the atmosphere is indeed the easiest way. True axial symmetry is unachievable, and would be unstable, so they put those little fins on rockets. However, there is that guy who invented his own jet pack. He is neither axially symmetric, nor winged.
In some ways, a chair would be easier than a jet pack, because you could distribute weights. I think the biggest problem would be that upside down would be just as stable, if unfortunate and probably brief. Especially since you need to get some sort of sideways thrust to go anywhere, which would be prone to flip you. I suppose you could just spin though, for the purposes of taking out zombies. Hmmm, I bet your brother and a few of my friends could build a flying, spinning death chair. I’ve even got a gunsmith for a brother-in-law…
Now you see why all my friends are athletes. No one brings up anything technical in their parties, without actually wanting an answer.
And welcome back umkay! I’ll admit I was/am worried.
Lines like this are why I’m totally crushing on you. Fortunately, I was done drinking my tea by the time I got to this one.
I’ll go one at a time so I don’t miss any. 
Every time one quits. Seriously though, it goes in seasons. There have been years where I’ve had a really stable group of carers whom I adore. Other times, I’ll get several incompetent people in a row, or three of my helpers will quit back to back (due to health issues or a career change or a move–or at least that’s what they tell me). Right now, my current caregivers have been with me, let’s see, between 8 months and 5 years. [Sidenote: Have you ever thought about how annoying it might be to count in your head, when you can’t mark off dates/numbers with your fingers? Because it is].
I’ve had a couple people burn out. But I don’t think it was about me, per se. The job isn’t for everyone, and if you can’t handle this assignment, which is pretty cush, relatively-speaking, then you probably should think about a career change.
As far as I know, I’ve never had someone leave me for another quad for that reason. Ladies have left to take care of an ailing relative, which makes sense. Or they’ve moved out of the area, which also makes sense.
I’ve actually had people move for me. 
My favorite attendant in college actually moved with me when I went back home after graduation. And she’s still with me.
I use a nursing agency. I’ve been using them for a decade, so they know exactly what I need and want. They do all the initial screening and only send me candidates that they have vetted and who seem like a great match.
They have to be at least a CNA, preferably an RN. But, as I mentioned before, I can overlook not being an RN if they can cook or type or are super funny and cool.
The agency does a full background screen on them, and a drug check. I don’t like to admit it, but the fact is that I’m physically vulnerable, even with my family close by. So obviously I’m careful about whom I allow into my home.
Ha! I do call references, and most quads can use the phone, if not type themselves, so that’s not usually an issue. Also, some of my helpers are coming from a hospital or nursing home setting, so there’s no issue there either.
Depends on how desperate I am. If my mom has been pinch-hitting for a couple weeks and we’re seriously getting on each other’s nerves, I just need someone medically competent. But if I have a month to find someone, I really take my time. I’m a firm believer that if you skimp on the interview portion, you can expect to do it again. And again. And again. So I’d rather just take my time and do it right the first time, you know? That means waiting for someone with a stellar track record, who knows what’s she’s doing, who has preferably taken care of a high quad before, who loves indie rock, who has cool hair, and who is not annoying in any way (you know, because I’m sure I’m never annoying). 
Hey–don’t dis the 3am shift! My ladies always love that shift because a) I’m asleep, b) the chores are done (cooking, cleaning, supply prep), and c) they can watch TV or play on my computer or whatever. And if I really trust the girl (like I do with my two oldest attendants), I don’t care if she takes a nap, as long as she keeps the monitor by her ear.
And yes, I hire for specific shifts and I look for different qualities for day and night shift workers. During the day, I mostly need skilled nurses to do all the cathing and BPs and coughing and range of motion stuff. Not to mention (like recently), she needs to know exactly what to do if I start to experience AD or some other emergency (like choking or something).
At night, I’m a little more laid-back. Since these are the carers who help me write personal emails, or play on the Dope, I like a girl who knows her grammar and can take dictation fast. These are also most frequently the folks I take out with friends in the evenings, if need be, so it helps if they are cool and hip. I also need somebody who likes to cook and is good at it. And because I can’t do any housekeeping, I have a helper do it all at night. Some RNs think that’s below them (and heck–they’re probably right!), so I tend to get the less medically qualified people for this shift. (Ha! Sure scared the sh*t outta my sweet little 22 year old aide Saturday night! But she handled it like a boss).
I always do a test-run, and I always have a back-up at hand. After all, this isn’t a receptionist position; it’s my life we’re talking about here. Either a current attendant (likely) or my mom (last resort) will watch the process to make sure everything is going down the right way. I’m an adult and I’m perfectly capable of directing my own care with my current employees, but I always need another pair of eyes and hands when I’m training someone because my situation makes it impossible for me to catch everything and make sure the trainee is doing it correctly.
I don’t intentionally ask for anything super weird–after all, the normal things they’ll need to do for me on a daily basis are weird enough. Though it can be a very strange dynamic to sit and do a third interview with someone, and then have them get you undressed and dressed again as a normal part of the hiring process. :o Which is usually what I will do when I’m pretty sure I have the right girl. A few have gotten really flustered by this, which is generally when I pull the plug on the interview. I mean, what the heck did she think she was going to be doing here??
I’ve had a couple get lazy after they get comfortable, and that’s usually when I tell them it’s not working out. But the far more common thing is for my long-term caregivers to be excellent at what they do, and we develop an affection for each other, and that’s the dream scenario.
No, thank Maude. I’m a pretty assertive person, so I can’t really see that happening. Also, keep in mind that I’ve had full-time employees since I was 14 years old, so I’ve had lots and lots of practice.
The agency would know, and would drop them from their roster, most likely. I don’t know who else I would call. Certainly not the cops. Unfortunately, there’s not really much oversight in this field. I’m lucky that I have a voice and a choice, but many wouldn’t. 
I’ve had someone get flustered, but never make a critical mistake or anything. If something big happened, I can’t really imagine trusting them again, so it’d probably be time for a change. I can’t afford to let someone make a major medical mistake multiple times.
Nah. I give annual raises, but there’s an ongoing dialogue with them so I never really need a review or anything. If they’re getting a raise, there’s no problem. And if they’re not, then they’re probably getting fired.
Hahaha! After awhile, yeah, sometimes these things come up. It’s not like these people are automatons. I’ll ask for their opinions on outfits or shopping or restaurants or whatever. And sometimes they’ll offer their opinions on those things without being asked. As long as they’re clear that it’s just a suggestion, I don’t care. But again, these women aren’t paid friends. The relationship works best when it’s breezy and amiable and professional and respectful and occasionally silly and fun. In many ways, how the best relationships with bosses anywhere function. I often look at how my brother runs his (very successful) business and try to replicate the ways he interacts with his employees.
I totally chat with them at intervals throughout the day. But it’s not a constant thing, like it would be with a houseguest or something. It’s kind of like the massage therapist dynamic (or so I’ve been told), where the therapist takes her cues from the client. She’ll happily chat if the client drives the conversation, but she’ll also take care not to interrupt the client’s massage with incessant chatter if they don’t feel like talking.
And an important thing to note: If I’m on the computer, she needs to be quiet, since my voice software will just as easily dictate what she’s saying as what I’m saying.
I like to know a little about my carers’ lives; it seems natural since they know almost everything about mine. But I do try to have some boundaries. No hard and fast rules, but just reasonable boundaries. I don’t want her to feel like she walks on eggshells or she can’t be herself; OTOH, I don’t want her to feel so friend-y with me that she feels comfortable calling in sick because she’s on her period or she broke up with her boyfriend, you know?
It sounds like you can totally relate to the tightrope I walk every day!
I don’t know if I always accomplish it, but that’s certainly what I’m going for: professional non-killjoy.
Huh, OK. So what DOES happen when someone calls in sick? Does it default to your mom? Or is one of your carers always on call as a backup? Or something else entirely?
Hope you’re feeling better and the source of the AD gets found.
This has been such an amazing and educational thread. You’ve been answering questions candidly and with a twinkle of humor for 27 days!
If you’re not tired of the whole thing:
When you first wake up, do you ever briefly “forget” that you’re paralyzed?
Do you ever interview candidate carers who don’t understand that they’ll be working for you, rather than your parents? That is, they try to address answers to your mom (if she’s in the room), or otherwise act like you’re a child rather than a prospective boss?
Do you ever take public transit? (I once worked with a woman who used a wheelchair, and was absolutely livid with subway systems that don’t maintain their elevators properly. Washington, DC came in for a lot of abuse - all of it, sadly, deserved.)
I cringed at that line, since I said a similarly insensitive comment earlier in this thread. :0/ I get what she was saying: “Don’t assume I’m an invalid just because I’m in a wheelchair.” But it could have been said with a little more tact.
The bright side is that this bit of myth-busting just goes to show that dsabled people can be clueless jerks too.
This is a good question. Here’s the answer: Just as AB folks’ leg musculature differs from person to person based on genetics, level of fitness, diet, and lifestyle, so do manual chair-users’ arm musculature. Make sense?
And someone already mentioned, but Angela, as a quad, is so thin because she can’t access most of the muscles in her upper body and arms (though a little bit of this is probably her naturally tiny bone structure, too).
Wow - thanks for the superdetailed answer.
I’m glad to “see” you again, and I hope that you continue to feel better, and that you/doctors figure out what was causing the AD - that sounds really scary to not know what it’s from.
You mentioned earlier that you have a gadget that stimulates your leg muscles for you so they don’t waste totally away. Would it be possible to use that gadget enough to actually build your leg muscles up to “normal” size again, or is that not possible?
I totally understand why it wouldn’t be something you’d WANT to do (the extra weight alone would be a pain, not to mention all the time it would take up to do it) but is that extent of muscle stimulation even something that the device can achieve?
Keep feeling better!
You’re talking about Team Hoyt. And I don’t know if they built it, but Dick is a B.A. who put a harness on and pulled Rick along in a boat behind him as he swam the water leg. So boss.
My brothers have been bugging me to do this for years.
They’ve also suggested pulling me in some kind of death-trap sled while they ski down a mountain, strapping me to a surfboard and towing me through the murky SoCal waves, and working some kind of tandem bike situation where my body is supported in a seat on the bike, and my partner does all the work. They’re full of ideas, some of which are interesting to contemplate (the latter), and others which would send shivers down my spine if that were possible (the former).
Anyway, I haven’t taken them up on any of them because it’s not so much the experience of being in the crush of a triathlon or riding the surf or whatever that’s so attractive to me; it’s the ability to do it myself, with my own body, that I long for. Like, I’m sure it would be fun to be pushed by a really fast runner, but what I really want is to be that sweaty, breathless, heart-pounding runner. KWIM?
Haha! Well, even though I find the combination of rocket scientist/triathlete ridiculously sexy, tell Mrs. Slow that I wouldn’t dream of cutting in on the good thing you two have going on. After all, this is a woman who bore you twins.
Haha, I wish!
I’ve totally heard of John Callahan! I was sorry to hear about his passing, too. Mother-effing pressure sores, yo… :mad:
Gosh, this is why I’m loving this thread so much. Most of what you’re writing, I’m nodding and going "Mm-hmm, yeah, makes sense, okay … " and then you get to something like that and all I can think is: “Woah.” Because, no, that thought never crossed my mind until you brought it up.
- purplehorseshoe, who can’t be trusted with any math that can’t be done on fingers and toes
Yes, I know exactly what you mean. That’s why I do them.
You might find this hard to believe, but no one has said that to me before. (Maybe my good looks leave them too flustered? :D) Thank you.
Mrs Slow is also a twin, btw, so you’d better be careful. I clearly have a thing for them. As does one of my twins’ boyfriends: he dumped a twin to date mine. I was sure to warn him to watch himself around me missus!
Naturally.
Such a classic techie answer! “Theoretically, the rocket wheelchair is a possibility, and could be constructed rather easily, though it would probably flip upside down at intervals.” You just forgot to add, “…dumping the poor paralyzed girl in it on the ground.” But, hey, what’s the worst that could happen? I break my neck?
Malarky - rocket designers are whizzes at securing payload. A good five point harness and you’re not going anywhere!
That’s why we invented seatbelts my dear. Although in your case I think a five point harness would not be overkill.
…again.
True story related to me by the pilot in question: a gentleman crashed his very small airplane (more or less a hang glider with a motor) into a Florida swamp. Mind you, he wasn’t intending to do that, but Stuff Happens. Anyhow, being a paraplegic, and stuck in a swamp, in Florida, you know, where they have giant flesh-eating lizards and things, he decided the best thing to do was to get himself out of there, get to a road, and wave down a passing motorist for help, just like someone able-bodied.
So he proceeds to drag himself a mile or so through the swamp, gets to a road, flags down a car, an ambulance is called, and he is taken to the ER. When he gets there, there is Much Concern both from his filthy state and because he can’t seem to feel his feet or legs, leading to the docs to have hushed little conferences in the hallway outside and then gingerly approach him with the Bad News about possible nerve damage -
Oh, that says the wheelchair pilot. I broke my back.
INSTANT UPROAR, calls for backboards, x-rays, all the ER/trauma unit chaos you can imagine -
No, you idiots, I broke my back ten years ago in another accident. I’m just scraped up a bit and need to be checked out, I don’t think I got hurt this time…
(He did have a gash that needed stitches, but really, for crashing an airplane into an alligator infested swamp he [del]walked[/del] crawled away largely unscathed.