I come from a long line of depressives (SP?) on my mom’s side. My mom is bipolar, but hasn’t been on meds until the last, oh, 10 years or so. I didn’t hang around other kids much so I thought she was normal. It was only later I realized what was wrong. She is on meds now and living a very stable life. It’s good for her - she’s almost “normal” - which I’m very happy about.
I don’t have bipoloar, but I do have ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), which came with a mood disorder that includes mood swings (mostly into depressive moods). This past week, I’ve been really depressed (but not severely). I do experience mood swings, usually from ok to depressed, or depressed to ok, or ok to being hyper and impulsive. I don’t think I ever jumped from being depressive to being hyper and impulsive, but it gets annoying when you think you are going to be fine to find out that the next day, you are depressed again.
I have a friend with the worst kind of bi-polar. I was lucky to never see her in her swings, but she said that when she got off her medicine, she goes into these manic moods where she is ready to kill herself and others. Luckily, she knows now that as soon as she feels this way, she takes herself to the hosipital. Must be horrible to have to live that way, and I didn’t fully read your post yet, but I will.
Today, I’ve been having feelings of depression all day (for no apparant reason) and at times have a feeling to cry, and just generally upset. I seem to get more upset when I write stuff like this, so writing about or thinking about it unleashes some feelings or something. I just haven’t been too happy this past week, and been really tired (today isn’t that bad but still). I’ve been off my medication for ADHD and a mood stabilizer for quite some time now. I guess I should try to go see a doctor and see a counselor for this, but I don’t really feel like it. Right now, I just want to be at home or with a group of people that I can talk to. That seems to keep me from getting depressed and upset. You know when I get upset when I start being less impulsive.
Good luck to you and I hope that you can all feel better.
You know a lot of disorders are comorbid - meaning they coexist with other disorders…maybe you have a mild form of bipolar too.
Hated it…yes. The Thorazine is the biggest killer of anything I have ever been put on - it is the drug they use to bring on the ‘zombie’ state.
Bloody awful.
kputt
Hang in there OK, if it gets on top of you, seek medical help - but I guess you know that one.
Thinking of you all
My son was on Zyprexa which is very similar and was very zombie like. He also hated it. gained a bunch of weight and fell asleep every night at 800PM. We both fought to find something else to help and finally did. He is on something better now that doesn’t zone him out or make him gain weight. He is back to being a normal kid again. I don’t blame you for hating it. I just wondered if you liked the mixed with caffeine buzz.
It seems like I’ve lost all motivation. I still drudge into work though. I usually show my upset in anger and moodiness and not crying.
BTW, even sven I’m 22 also.
Was this reply for me?
Yes it was, sorry…leave it to the half san bi-=polar person to forget to add the quote:rolleyes:
Ah, the caffeine helped take some of the edge off it, but in a weird way. The best way to describe it would be to say that my mind was a little bit more aware (thanks to the stimulant) but the body was totally wrecked…semi-vegetative. I think too that the caffeine did enhance the pseudo-parkinsonism and the restlessness though. if I never have to go back on it then i am a happy man.
Oh, I see. I don’t blame you a bit. You know I wonder why they prescribe things that have side efffects that are that debilitating. It’s like taking away one evil and trading for another…like curing leukemia by giving you liver cancer…doesn’t pass the logic test does it? But who am I? Just another consumer…
Because everyone reacts differently to medication. IN some people, it helps them without those side effects, while in others, it doesn’t help (or help) but with debilitating side effects. You are mixing chemicals with chemicals and everyone’s body and brain chemistry is different.
I see we have really leapt a long way off the original topic here.
But yes, we all react differently to different meds/treaments. What works for one may be hell for another. I guess though - we try as well as we can.
Certainly I understand the temptation to go without meds. I have done it - and currently am again - under medical supervision, just to see how we go. So far, four months and OKish
True. But not too many people aren’t zonked out on lithium and zyprexa yet docs continue to prescribe those not as a last resort med when others are unresponsive, but as a first defense to try and get people stabilized. Then it turns people of of meds all together and they stop taking them. Funny how that happens…it’s frustrating to keep trying this and that and a lto of people don’t have the persistence to keep trying. Actually it was my son who encouraged me.
I’m not really depressed anymore, well, actually, I can’t even tell anymore. I’m just tired. Depressive feelings come and go for me.
I’m not really depressed anymore, well, actually, I can’t even tell anymore. I’m just tired. Depressive feelings come and go for me, but not in a once in awhile basis. Last night, I only got about 6 hours of sleep, so that explains the tiredness. However, Tuesday night into Wednesday, I had 9 hours of sleep, although with 2 or 3 interruptions) and it seemed like I only had 4 hours of sleep. It’s amazing that somehow I gained all this energy towards the end of the day, especially when I left work. I tend to get more energy in the evenings.
Sometimes I have lots of energy on no sleep or very little sleep at all. There are times I can go for weeks getting only marginal sleep day after day and feel completely alert and rested. this would be cool for a while but the longer I went the fater I went and eventually I would need help slowing down. That is where the booze would start to come in.
Everyone is different. There are very mild forms of mania that never get to that point. (Bipolar II) That is why it is a hard disease to treat.
My husband was recently diagnosed with secondary bipolar. He had slipped into it so gradually (I’ve known him since we were teens) that it never occurred to me that anything other than his normal personality was at work. Again, this wasn’t the severe stuff; I just got used to coming home from work one day and having him feel depressed and then the next day he’d be very pumped about some project that we HAD to work on right then. I just slowly got used to the roller coaster, I guess, as did he. He’d been diagnosed (misdiagnosed, IMO) with depression, but several rounds of meds hadn’t helped him. After the SBP diagnosis, a psychiatrist prescribed a different round of meds (sorry, can’t remember what they are right now).
I was skeptical at first, but wow, what a change. Now that he’s been on the meds a while, I can see that they’ve helped. He’s the same man now that he was when I met him (matured a bit, of course :)). No, he doesn’t have those “highs” so much, but he smiles more, he’s happier, way easier to get along with, and he hurts much less.
I don’t really know what the point of my post is, except to say that I hope you can somehow get help, even sven, because it can be better.
And kputt, I’m not a doctor, but you sound just like my husband–even the energy in the evening thing. (He also has ADD.) His depression meds never did much for him, as far as I could tell, but the ones targeted toward BP certainly do. Please talk to a psychiatrist about the possibility of having secondary bipolar disorder. There are online tests you can take that may give an indication; that’s where my husband started. If I can find the link I’ll let you know.
I’m not bipolar but i have major depression along with obsessive compulsive, anxiety, eating disorder, and so on… I know many people who are bipolar. I can say some stuff about the depression though. It is beyond horrible and scary. You couldn’t even imagine it if you have never truely gone through it. People break up with their girl friends or whatever and cry for a few days and get over it. But my depression drags me so deep where i hardly move i can’t sleep unless i take my sleep pills and i cut, beat, or burn myself because physical pain feels so much better then all the bottled up emotions inside. Sometimes it comes to suicide, i have attempted more times then i could count and have ended up at the hospital either screaming the i want to die or saying i am sorry let me live over and over. It’s the hardest thing i have had to deal with mostly because it is very hard to control the behavior and the sadness and you see your family standing over you very disapointed and what can you tell them? I sliced my wrist because life was to unbearable but you guys are great! They want to know why their love isn’t enough, and it sucks to be a disapointment. Now the psych ward was full of people just like me so we all pretty much traded secrets about tools we use to cut, differnt methods of suicide ect. a normal person would be disgusted by our conversation on how much bleach to swallow or how did we get that scar…I am on 7!!! pills a fucking day, it’s insane. i’ve got 900 mg of Lithium a day (which makes me shake and feel constantly sick to my stomach) 350 mg of Effexor (also makes me shake) 100mg of Trazadone (to sleep more if it isn’t working) Just got off an antipsychotic Ribadol or something? that made me unable to keep my eyes open.
In the end of all this i am stuck with the struggle not to cut which is even worse then quitting smoking cold turkey. I can not give myself my own medication. My room is searched everytime i go to the psych ward. I can’t stay in the bathroom/shower for long periods of time or my parents come baging in to make sure i am not doing something bad. I attend a group therapy and a one oin one therapy every week. I basically have no freedom. Depression isn’t only just feeling horrible all the time, it destroys little things throughout your life, things easily taken for granted.
sara
Thanks skeptic_ev. I had other people tell me that, but I’m being skeptical of it. I never went into a manic mode (perhaps I do), but I think’s more of a hyper/impulse mood.
I show symptons of OCD, and I have a lot of anxiety. YOu should have seen me yesterday when the blackout occured.