Some of the things that will get you moved up the list:[ul]
[li]Asking me why I look “warmed over.”[/li][li]Making jokes about “the sphincter of Death.”[/li][li]Hi, Opal. (And about damned time, too.)[/li][/ul]
This message brought to you by Death, an official sponsor of the 1972 Olympics.
Hmmm … you should consider changing your user name to Death Andy Stroyerofworlds … I mean, I just don’t consider you (as Death) to be either (in reference to your user name). Of course, that’s me 
Why not club him in the head?
Hey Death,
I’ve heard of people being close to you, and others even being at your door, but I can’t seem to find your house. Can you give me directions?
There once was a lady named Eddy
And also was named TeddyFreddy.
She made comments blithe
To the Man With the Scythe
Who said to her “Better get ready.”
This message brought to you by Death, the condition to die for.
I ran that one by a focus group. They thought we said Deaf Andy and they ALL STARTED SHOUTING AT ME.
Death: When alcohol just won’t do.
No, but I can send a car for you.
Or you could stand in traffic and catch a bus.
Shed pounds fast. Shed your entire body. Try Death, the Destroyer of Worlds.*
Another question. Why do you often come in 3’s? Should EddyTeddyFreddy be frightened?
If cats have nine lives, and I have a three-cat name, does that mean I get 27 shots at life before you can reap me?
And by the by…I was thinking of purchasing a convertable, but heard that they were a “death trap”. Is that so?
So, just what is the difference between a dead and live doornail? If any?
I’ve seen someone described as being a “live wire” but never a “dead wire”. Does this sort of discrimination bother you?
What is the orgin of the term “dead-ringer”?
What is the orgin of the term “dead-ringer”?
Does the proliferation of 1920s style death-rays increase your work load?
Where are the Snowdens of yesteryear?
Death,tDoW what would you recommend that fashion conscious people should be wearing this coming autumn (fall)?
Is it true that some people die and go to hell before their bodies become inanimate (as was told in Dante’s Inferno)? Do you know the Valkyries, and could you get me a date with one of them?
Death:
How do I get mayonaise stains out of a golden retriever (don’t ask for details).
Sign me:
Flabbergasted in Nantucket
A dead doornail doesn’t scream when you pound it into the wall.
I’d write a longer answer, but I’m on deadline.