Hey, Death, when you said this:
I couldn’t help but think that a weed whacker would be, well, poetic justice, apropos, le mot juste, whatever, in the case of certain to-be-deceaseds. Maybe you’d reconsider your adherence to the scythe? I admit, with the black robe it has that timeless elegance, but some candidates for harvesting don’t deserve a first class reaping.
As opposed to? I mean, if you’ve just died and are bargaining with the Dread Reaper to not rend your soul and condemn you to the Eternal Pit, you’re not in the best bargaining position to say “I don’t feel lke chess today.”
lol
Yo, D. I called Ernie and he said that there was like a kryptonite thing for death (oops, DEATH) and he thought it was like pine-sol or something. I think he’s fulla crap but I don’t know. Whadda ya say? With all due respect, that is. Yessiree, all due respect, no offence, love that outfit by the way…doesn’t make your butt look too fat.
So…should I stock up on pine-sol?
What I heard, bird, was it’s those little cardboard pine tree automobile deodorizers that do the trick. If you build a wall around yourself with them, Death can’t sniff you out and you’ll be safe. I believe the floor and ceiling have to be made of the same stuff, though, and you can’t have a window, so you need to run in an oxygen hose.
Dear Eddy,
I know you are a good boy and will understand that bird looks up to you like the big brother he never had (well he’s got one but he’s a guest of the state for a while yet). Bird just hangs on your every word and he always tells me and Uncle Earl everything you say and always says he wants to grow up and be just like his buddy Eddy. He’s real impressionable so you gotta be careful what you say to him cause god knows he believes everything you say. I’m telling you this cause he’s not here right now. He went and borrowed $100.00 from Uncle Earl and Jo Beth and asked me could he use the pickup cause he just had to get to Wal*Mart right away. You wouldn’t have any idea what that’s all about would ya?
Regards,
**Birds'** Mommarockband.
Death Needs No Subcontractors.
Not that I would mind the help. I just hate paperwork.
Feh. Pine-sol plus pine fresheners equals pine box.
Tell you what. Just because we’re all friends here, and this is a board dedicated to fighting ignorance, I’ll let you in on the secret.
The key to defeating death?
Cheeseburgers.
Cheeseburgers and cigarettes.
Enjoy.
This message was brought to you by Death, the Proven Solution for Existence.
I’ve never smoked a cheeseburger before but I’m willing to try.
But I just gotta ask: Cite?
Try the smoked-bacon cheeseburger, with extra mayo.
Remember The Three C’s For Healthy Living: Cigarettes, Cheeseburgers, and Cell Phones While Driving.
This message is brought to you by Death, reminding you that Life is really overrated.
Asking Death for a cite moves you five spots up the list.
We want people to feel that they’re involved and that they have a chance to make a difference.
It’s a lot like politics.
COuld I substitue A First person shooter for Diablo? I mean I would LOVE to see the set up you’d have for unreal. Even a Mech Warrior rig thats set up to look like a real cockpit. C’mon Death Let me get a good play before I go 
What’s the real story with Schroedinger’s Cat?
Is your real name Wesley, which you don’t use because it doesn’t inspire dread?
Do you enjoy your cameo appearances in The Sims?
And it’s more devastating to beat them at something they’re good at?
Am I allowed to flirt with you?
Are there any other behaviors that move someone up the list, and should therefore be avoided?
Waiting until you get to the front of the line before deciding what to order? Asking your waitress out before deciding how much to tip? Poor, punctuation?!?
That sounds like a good idea. I like to think of myself as the type of Death that is forward-looking, involved in the 21st century.
But just don’t ask for “Grand Theft Auto.” I don’t want to get sued for causing injuries.
This message is brought to you by Death – The Other Dead Meat.
There’s more than one way to skin him.
Now where did you come up with “Wesley”? Actually that isn’t such a bad name for ye olde Charon: “Wes Death – Agent of Doom.” Has a nice ring.
I’m like Michael Caine: I always enjoy working.
Death – Sooner or later, you’re gonna switch.
I love it when people flirt with Death. Just remember, Death likes really skinny chicks. Not those full-figured ones like Kate Moss. I want a woman with some bones on her meat.
Death: Billions served and not one customer complaint.
Ah, Death – have you mislaid your sting?
Do you find that these days you don’t bring
All those terrible chills
To those jaded with thrills?
Has your scythe lost its powerful swing?
Just asking, mind you – not accusing you of being passe or anything, nossirree, no way… :eek: