My wife and I are adopting from Korea. In fact, we just got our referral for our baby the other day and we’ll travel to October to get her.
Just be polite and ask away. 
Congratulations! What’s the baby’s name?
How long did the whole process take?
Are you going to be trying to introducing her to Korean culture as well as to the culture she’ll be living in?
Why not domestic adoption?
Do you mind giving a ballpark of how much this adoption has (or will) cost?
Congrats. Our son is ten and is Korean. We had a six month wait between referral and arrival - we got caught in quota. Eastern? Holt?
Beadalin, if you are still in Minnesota - this is the agency that does Korean adoptions here: http://www.childrenshomeadopt.org/Korea_Adoptions.html
Thank you, Dangerosa.
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Still thinking of a name.
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11 Months, though we have another 4 or so before we go. We’ve discussed it for 6 years.**
- **Very common question. We used to live in Asia and developed a real heart for the kids there. The outlook is stunningly bleak for kids that don’t get adopted there.
I don’t really believe in domestic and foreign anyway. I mean…she is from Earth(we hope). :)**
- Tons. More than it should.
- Holt
Cool–are you going to answer my other question? (Are you going to be trying to introducing her to Korean culture as well as to the culture she’ll be living in?) No snark intended–I’m just very interested to hear the answer.
Ah, I missed it.
**Yes, we’ll teach her about Korean culture. She won’t speak Korean, but we’ll celebrate some Korean holidays as long as she’s interested. **
If I may step in. We had every intention of doing so with my son - and really worked at it when he was little even hauling him across town every Saturday for “Korean school.” But by the time he was four or five he was voicing a “no interest.” He doesn’t really care if he is Korean or not - he’s an American kid. He has a ton of Asian friends (mostly Hmong) and they are American kids.
Other kids do crave learning about their birth culture. Ours doesn’t. We’ve tried to get the family to visit Korea - no interest from him. Korean camp - no way! No interest in his birthmother.
I always wanted me a jet black lil’ baldheaded Sub Sahara African girl with round black eyes, same age as my daughter. I never had the guts to do it. I think it is real nice that you are actually getting your baby. You’re not a talker! You are a doer!
That’s interesting to know–you too, Mahaloth. I always wonder how people address this…and you’re right, it must depend on the kid–they are all different after all.
Just make sure you get a bullet proof birth certificate. And exactly how long has your wife lived in the US?
I’m just trying to prepare for her Presidential Candidacy. No rush, we’ve got a few issues to overcome before she’ll be old enough.
How old will she be when you get her? Hey, do me a favor. Don’t get hooked up on all the reasons you can’t bond with her. You can. I promise you. You are gonna be Daddy. She will bond with you. (Small note: I am Momma. Not Mommy. He is Dada or Daddy. I don’t get to be Mommy yet, but I’m workin’ on it.)
Thank you so much. That is one less girl in this world that will live without hope. It may be a drop in a bucket, but it is a drop in a very nice bucket. Yay! Chicks Rock! (give her kisses for me)
**- 9 months or so.
She is not in an orphanage, by the way. She has a Foster Family. This means she has already bonded with a Mom and Dad(and siblings). While this makes it hard to take her away from them, it also means she has had human connections already, something orphanage children sometimes lack. After some time, she should be able to bond with us.
Korea has a great foster family program.**
Random question, but does anyone know why so many adopted children are from Korea? It is practically a cliche. I know there are quite a few dopers on this board who have adopted children from Korea. I could understand it after the Korean War, when I am sure there were many orphans and the standard of living was poor, but modern-day South Korea is a first world country and the birth rate is very low–reportedly the 4th lowest in the world. Why not China or India? Thailand or Vietnam? As far as I know, there are not many adoptions out of Japan or Taiwan, two Asian countries that have a similar standard-of-living and birth rate as South Korea. Is it just habit by this time? Or are the laws in Korea designed to make it easier for foreigners to adopt Korean children?
I thought the cliche was adopted kids from China.
Well, that too, but it is somewhat more expected from a country like China.
It was promoted greatly after the Korean War, as far as I know - I think a lot of agencies painted it as a kind of “we have a responsibility to these children” thing. Also Koreans hate adopting - we are as a people obsessed with bloodlines and many people can’t get over the fact that they would be bringing up someone else’s child. Along the same lines, orphans are suspected to be of bad blood (as in, their parents were probably among the lower classes). It sounds very outdated but a lot of these beliefs are still alive today, although few would admit to them I imagine. Therefore we have plenty of children available for adoption.
Korea also has one of the least expensive programs. Their system is one of the oldest, and the red tape has been worked out really well so its very predictable in comparison to other programs that seem to shut down and reopen every few months. There are no bribes (unless you count the flow of crockpots and peanut butter adoptive parents bring as gifts.) There is no bait and switch (there are stories of parents going to Russia to pick up “their” child to be told that child they were referred is not available, here have this one.) The Korean system uses a foster care system, not an institutional system - which appeals to adopting parents who general believe having a foster mom is better for the baby than spending the first year in an orphanage. Timelines are often pretty short compared to other programs. The young women of Korea are not prone to drug or alcohol abuse. Their medical care is pretty good.
Asians are also seen as a “good minority” to adopt. Its sort of a racist statement, at the same time, when you are white people who are going to be raising a kid of color, its important to REALLY THINK about the impact of color. In our society, black kids are going to have more challenges (and black kids raised by white parents perhaps even more) than Asian or Hispanic kids. And Asian or Indian kids face the fewest negative stereotypes.
Korea does have a quota system - due to international outrage at Koreans not being willing to take care of these kids themselves the Korean government has imposed quotas - they only let out so many kids a year. They also let Koreans get “first dibs” - so the babies are now a little older than when we adopted. It has helped a little, but not much.
I have a friend who hosted an older child from Russia last with with the hope of getting someone interested in adopting her (she was one of a group). They have one child, but the wife is diabetic, and a second pregnancy wasn’t a good idea. They fell in love with Nastia and adopted her. They had her back home in about 6 months after her summer visit. She was 12 when she was adopted and had spent her last 6 years in an orphanage. Still, she’s a bright, happy, engaged kid, who looks about 3 years younger than her American counterparts.
StG