Yes, but they still have international adoption. They will be stopping it soon, but not enough people adopt boys. Actually, getting a girl is quite rare. We were really fortunate.
It’s almost only boys, actually. Getting a girl is somewhat rare. We were told we had a 5% chance of getting a girl nowadays.
That was something I always thought was odd, given the emphasis on sons in many Asian cultures. When we first adopted, we said we didn’t care what sex the child was. They said that meant we would almost certainly get a son, and sure enough, we did. The we specifically requested a daughter* the second time, and the waiting period was not significantly longer.
My sister traveled to South Korea to pick up my niece. She enjoyed it, because it was just before the Seoul Olympics, and everyone in town was practicing being hospitable to the tourists. She said every time she made eye contact with someone, they would give her a map of the Seoul subway system.
Have a safe journey, and God bless you all in your new family.
Regards,
Shodan
*She turned eighteen a week ago. How did that happen?
Yes, I think it is amazing that so many people assume it will be a girl, when boys are by far the more common from Korea.
Of course, the fact that we got a girl doesn’t help but perpetuate the myth. It really is almost all boys nowadays.
I think people there don’t adopt boys, but it is supposed to be changing. I bet by 2011 or 2012, they will shut down the program.
I hope this is not an offensive question, but why were those children up for adoption, in general?
Gah. I wasn’t aware of this restriction. Do you know if it’s common? Does anyone know if it’s common in the US and other countries besides Korea?
My husband and I have always planned to adopt, but too many life events have delayed action, and now I’m in treatment for cancer – which I have something like a 90% chance of surviving without recurrence. If I’m declared in full remission after this treatment, five years later my husband will be 48 and bumping up against (or be well past, depending on the country, IIRC) the age ceilings for adoption. 
Bloodlines in Korea are less important for girls - a girl has a better chance of being adopted domestically and/or being integrated into the family of a relative of the birthmother. Patralineal decent issues.
Ouch. I guess I understand now.
Re the “cultural exposure” thing – the best advice I’ve heard: Try to remember that it’s not just your kid who has “heritage”. You do too, and if your kid doesn’t see you celebrating it or learning about it or whatever, it’s too easy to assume “I only have the extra culture thing because I was adopted.” And of course you and your kid will have a shared culture in the US, and that’s worth celebrating in the same way.
To me the issue is that I don’t know it isn’t. I’d like to say my concern is entirely altruistic in that I don’t want my future kids to suffer the same illness but while it is true I very much don’t want that, I also don’t want to have to feel the guilt of having knowingly took that chance and found out it was, in fact, genetic. Especially given that there are so many children in the world who need loving homes.
And on that note, congratulations, Mahaloth!!
Probably because of China’s flood of unwanted baby girls.
Forgive me, but why don’t you get tested so that your illness can be diagnosed?
Also, it is unlikely, if it is genetic, that no members of your family (if you cast the net wide) wouldn’t have it.
Maybe a few enquiries would help?
You don’t want to find out in twenty years time that it was a virus and you could have had your own child the whole time.
I’ve been treated by various doctors/tested since I first got sick (I’ve been sick about 7 years now), and my diagnosis is essentially chronic fatigue syndrome (which is pretty much just a medical way of saying “we don’t know what’s wrong with you”). I am being treated for lyme disease, but that might turn out to not be my main medical issue. I’m currently in the process of second-opinioning just in case something else was missed.
I wouldn’t feel comfortable assuming it isn’t genetic on the basis that my family members aren’t sick. I don’t have many extended family members to ask, really (lots of estrangement in my family, from two or three generations ago, which would make it a lot of effort to track down relatives). It’s a good idea, though, and I really have nothing to lose by trying, so I should do that. Thanks for the idea!
I also am concerned about passing an illness to a fetus in utero, which could potentially include all kinds of diseases, not just genetic. And I’m not too hung up on the biological origins of my future children. I know I’d love adopted kids just as much, and it isn’t very important to me to actually be pregnant with my own biological children. I’d really like to experience it, but it’s the having kids part that really matters to me, I don’t care as much how about I get them.
In the interests of fighting ignorance, an adopted child is your own child. The phrasing “your own child”, “real mother”, etc. is frowned upon. As someone with an adopted sister, I do not consider an adopted relative to be any less than a biological one. You don’t raise a child for years, then stop loving them because they’re not biological.
My parents are from two different cultures (although both from Spain), we lived in dad’s homeland and my mother avoided teaching us about her culture at all. We grew up understanding her native language but not speaking it; I’m the only one who speaks it and I “got going” thanks to a government program while I was in college in Mom’s homeland, not thanks to her or her family.
My brothers and me have often wished we hadn’t been denied access to half of our heritage; it sometimes seems as if all we got from that side were the negative quirks (for example, Mom and her family don’t so much fall as jump into that culture’s stereotipe of using their wallet as their most important and vital organ, they charge relatives for visiting).
You would just need to talk to different agencies and see what their guidelines are. I had thyroid cancer which is highly curable and I even had a letter from my oncologist stating that since I had surgery and radiation treatment, he believed that I had the same life expectancy as any other 29 year old (at the time) female.
I know some countries have health restrictions as well-a lot have weight restrictions and China won’t adopt to anyone with a physical disability, which knocks us out because my husband is in a wheelchair.
Congrats, safe travels, and may your daughter bring as much joy into your lives as the Firebug (adopted from Russia in March) has brought into ours!
You’re not really fighting ignorance, it’s just your opinion.
Though I do agree with you in principal.
BUMP
RESURRECT!
Ahem, I am doing a massively later update.
Mrs. Mahaloth and I are traveling to Korea this Saturday to pick up babyMahaloth #2.
It’s a boy! We’ve known forever about him, but have been waiting to go for awhile. We’re super thrilled!
The little girl is now 3, almost 3 1/2. She’s super pumped about getting a little brother. She has a bunch of toys to show him.
This is it for us. Any future children will be biological, but we think two is as far as we’ll go either way.
Yes!!!
Congrats!
How exciting!