Foggy
March 17, 2012, 4:08pm
9
I’ve posted my opinion on this before, but you won’t ever truly get over your depression until you are willing to rethink, re-evaluate, and then unconditionally and unmercifully nuke every single belief that you have about yourself. Until that happens you will just be going from therapy to drug to therapy and around again. I am living proof, and have never been as joyful as I am right now-if an idiot like me can pull it off you can too.
I don’t understand this, can you explain it more.
I hate this “it worked for me, so it will work for you” shit. If that were true, we would all be heterosexual, Christian, Republicans living the American dream. I’m not say that whatever you did, wouldn’t be useful to others, but NOTHING works for everybody, not penicillin, not haggis, not even shamrocks shakes.
I posted this last August, nothing has change:[spoiler]
I have had help, it didn’t. Been in & out of therapy since I was 9, the last 15 years (1995-2010) it was continuous with about a dozen or so different medications (I lost count). I guesstimate I have seen some 40 different mental health people in that time (most were just one or two visits), one doctor after 8 years said he couldn’t help me, after two years a hospital run clinic said they couldn’t help me, there have been two Partial Hospitalizations and I applied for ECT (denied). I have been in many different therapy groups and I have done volunteer work (with cats, with people, prefer cats (I would kill to have a cat but that isn’t a good idea)).
No change, no help, so in April 2010, against doctors orders I quit taking all medications and seeing all doctors.
I have contemplated suicide for about 40 years. For much of the past decade or so it’s been a daily thought. I have even made some half-assed weak-assed attempts. My only concern is for my mother and my ex and how it will affect them.
Some people are just broken and nothing can be done for them. I’m one of those people and I want out. With my 50th birthday just a day away it seems like a good time. I like the neatness of living exactly 50 years (or nearly so).
I have tried to deal and failed multiple times. It’s time to act like a man, man up, grow a pair, and just do it.
[/spoiler]
I will be the first to admit that I fucked up royally somewhere along the way, I just don’t know where or how to fix it.