I’d want at least a monkey.
roger, do you still believe that dinosaurs and humans co-existed? You said you’d tell us if you changed your mind.
Did I get it right - Are you an Old Harrovian?
What are you wearing?
Sigh. I have to admit, you facinate me, the combination of wry masculine wit, worldly charm and the devilish inability to stay on topic.
And I have always had a penchance for cricket umpires, the way they can carry off wearing 7 players sweaters and 3 pairs of sunglasses while still remaining steadfastly focused on the game makes a girl want to bowl a googly.
Speaking of cricket, how many ways can a batsman be made out?
Did you know you can download a Dickie Bird screensaver?
Why do bowlers rub the ball on their pants?
Nice of you to drop by, SM. I perceived that you had evolved an adaptive mechanism to do a vanity search each time you log in, and so I cunningly added you to my little story (completely as an afterthought, I can assure you), taking special care to check the precise alignment of your name, a name, which, it goes without saying, I abhor for its smart aleckery and its smug “I’m-an-atheist-and- so-would-you-be-if-you-had-an-ounce-of-intellectual-honesty-and-were-not-suffering-from-cognitive-dissonance”.
As regards your ridiculous question, about which you appear to have quite the bee in your bonnet, I merely point you to the work of someone who is not only 6 foot 10 inches but also possesses an IQ of 185. If it’s good enough for Michael Crichton, mate, it’s good enough for me.
Furthermore, old bean, I watched with growing interest a news item on the telly the other day concerning the latest dinosaur find. Inside the tummy of this thing had been found the remains of two mammals, two *previously unknown * mammals, matey.
Now, according to your logic, this animal never existed - indeed it might have been about this mammal that you had been goading me these past six months. “So, Rog, (snark, snark), do you still believe that dinosaurs and thingies co-existed (smirk, smirk)?” Now, you’d be having to say to me, “Oh, sorry, Roger, yes, you were right. Sometimes I can be too dismissive of other people. Yes, sometmes I can be too dismissive of scientific evidence too.”
So, why don’t you put that in your pipe and smoke it? Sentie.
Wol, I am not a Harrovian. However, I did go to an estimable public school starting with “H”, situated near a county town starting with an “H”, whose alumni include such luminaries as Clement Attlee, John McCarthy (remember him?) and Lord Sainsbury.
You’re not a Wykamist (spelling?) by any chance. I seem to remember a Hampshire connection.
Shirley, I am currently sporting a T-shirt from Giordano (I forget which colour - it was dark when I got up and the wife was still sleeping - she’s Chinese, you know (had I mentioned that?) and sleeping is something they’re born with - genetic - can even sleep standing up on the bus), a saxe-blue shirt with a fine white check pattern from Marks and Spencer (actually I’ve no idea if it’s really saxe-blue, but saxe-blue is one of the terms used to describe jockey’s colours and I’m a fan of the turf), a yellow tie with Oxford and Cambridge blue spots and a faint square tile pattern, a green fleece (with grey-green trim) from Giordano (actually quite pricey, but looks a bit tatty). My tanned and athletic legs are covered by a pair of briefs (again not sure about the colour, but think they’re probably blue - or were once) from M&S, a pair of grey chinos (also from M&S), which have faded into a kind of yellowy tinge on the thigh, and a pair of (I’m just checking) of dark grey socks from - you’ve guessed. My shiny shoes, freshly polished by our Filipina domestic helper last night, are brown brogues, made by Brown, which was established in 1857.
Paper or plastic?
Shirl, I’m not a mind-reader. Paper or plastic what? Cups? Shopping bags? Bin liners? Disposable slippers you get on airplanes? Get with the programme, please.
And so I come finally (and, truth be told, with some trepidation) to my other-wordly friend. She says she finds me fascinating, and yet apparently not sufficiently fascinating to preview her post before sending it out across the ether. I don’t think much of the high school French they teach on the red planet either.
While enjoying a rare idle minute, I jotted down on the back of a job advert the ways a batsman can be out. I got ten: bowled, caught, LBW, run out, stumped, hit wicket, hit the ball twice, obstructing the field, timed out, and retired out. Am I in the Dickie Bird class?
Talking of screensavers, I greatly appreciate your sending me the link to that website. However, it is unlikely that the boy from Barnsley will be supplanting Angelina Jolie just yet. I’m more of a dyke guy than a tyke guy.
The answer to your final question is that it keeps it shiny; you’re probably also aware that they apply some oral lubrication first.
A poser for you: what signal should an umpire in a one day international give if the bowler, having bowled one delivery that passes the batsman at above shoulder height, bowls another?
Touche. Careful or I’ll mistake you for a pendant. 
Since when was this thread about asking *me * questions?
I’m selling my surfboard (little chance to surf on a planet without water). How much should I expect to get for it?
My knowledge of surfboard resale value is on a par with my surfing ability. My only attempt took place many moons ago (our moons, not yours) when I was visiting my Antipodean cousins. I managed to paddle out with the thing okay, but couldn’t master the art of getting back to shore. In fact, even kneeling on the board proved beyond me. I spent most of my time swirling around in the Tasman Sea praying that the velcro strap round my ankle wouldn’t come apart and deliver me up to the rips and the sharks.
Heh heh, I aim to please or, at least, irritate the fuck out of.
Michael Crichton the pseudoscientific crank, you mean? There is a reason that, when you wlak into Waterstones, you find him under science fiction.
And when did I ever say that mammals did not coexist with dinosaurs? Of course simple mammals existed 70 million years ago, heck, even some birds did. Do you still believe that human beings lived with the dinosaurs, or do you think it more likely that we evolved from those simple mammals?
cough…Christ!..cough…cough…that’s some strong shit you’re spacing out on, rog! 
Ah there! We used to play them at cricket (can’t remember who won).
Guilty as charged on the school.
Our old lefty is Hugh Gaitskill (and tony Crossland, and the Jay twins). We also managed Willie Whitelaw, Frances Pym and the bloke who wrote Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
The rest of us languish in well-merited obscurity.
(p.s it’s “Wykhamist” - “Manners makyth man” and all that).
If you’re living in HK do you have to live in a teeny weeny falt?
However small the falt is, there is always room for the servant. Kitchen, corridor, cupboard…
Look, mate, if it’s good enough for Jeff Goldblum, it’s good enough for me.
Yes, the line is offensive. Twenty-five years ago, I thought it was mildly funny. I have no idea why I would use it – especially after you expressed your disgust and I usually don’t tolerate racial remarks well at all myself. I ask your pardon and I hope that you know by now that it was out of character for me.
You have provided me with an intriguing list of music to delve into. I’m familiar with most of Chopin’s work and will pull out the repertoire to see which one that is. I’m afraid that I’m quite predicable when it comes to classical preferences. Naturally, I want my ashes scattered to the winds with Mascagni’s Cavalleria rusticana going full blast from a nearby sound truck.
I am either unfamiliar or somewhat removed from your book choices, which is strange since your choices in cinema are spot on. There was a moment in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest that made an absolute difference in my life. It was when Chief broke free. It was then that I began to set boundaries in my life and participate more in decision-decision making in the treatment of my own mental illness.
Aside from the powerfulness of the movies themselves, the music from both Taxi Driver and The Deer Hunter is haunting. I also like the music from North by Northwest and have that too.
If you had three BIG wishes, what would they be? If you had three small wishes, what would they be? When is your birthday? Do you feel comfortable around celebrity? Do you feel comfortable around ordinary run-of-the-mill people? Have you ever read Thoreau?
I’ve been redecorating my house with a slight Asian touch. How do you like it so far?
Cremation it is for me too.
The film left me stunned. I had had a similar experience with psychiatric care (we’re all nutters here!) when I was hospitalised with a mental breakdown aged 12. A wise schoolmaster gave me The Catcher in the Rye to read as I recovered from that. I’ve never re-read it since, though it sits with its shiny silver cover on my shelf to this day. It met my needs so perfectly then.
- To be free of depression
- To be a sports commentator
- To reform the lego-judicial industry
- To appear in revues
- To meet Angelina Jolie
- To listen to C.S. Lewis
March 9th
No. I would be starstruck and dismissive of the vanity of the whole thing in turn.
I’m a bit of an inverted snob, so I’ve always got on well with working class people, drug addicts, etc. Then I read about George Orwell and his affinity to these people (or attraction to suffering hardship - who knows?) and I feel it’s not much to shout about.
No. I don’t know what he wrote, but since he was presumably French (was it Henri?), I assume it was depressing! I’ve read Foucault’s Madness and Civilization (in translation) and he writes with great insight about mental illness and how we “treat” it.
The Ming vase is a fake, I’m afraid. And I think you should revert to armchairs and sofas because you’re too old for all this sitting on the floor lark. The fish tank fits in well. And you use chopsticks better than me, but then again, most people do.
PS Are you a psychologist as well as a teacher?!
Ooh, Hong Kong, cool! I didn’t read this whole thread, but I like talking about myslef too! So tell me a secret! Tell me something that no one else has asked so far? Could you live with someone who had taste like Mimi Bobeck? Do you somtimes pine away for a brunette goddess such as myself?
Do tell!?
I’ve never heard of Mimi Bobeck, so I’ll take the brunette goddess one. My brunette goddess is Angelina. Although the sum total of films I’ve seen with her in is half (Tomb Raider on cable interrupted by dinner), I’m smitten. And then darn it all if she doesn’t go and say that what Sharon Stone did was stupid and that celebrities should find out about issues before opening their mouths. Beautiful and intelligent.
Did I say mouth? Time to lie down.