OK, the curiosity is killing me on this one. If you could indulge, dear BlackKnight, by checking page 105?
ETA: Heh, this thread is the only result I get from googling “Lemon for Felons”
My son, a young man of 14 years, is consumed by the sin of onanism.
I fear that this constant abuse may weaken his brain!
Not to mention, his eyesight is degrading.
Is there any remedy for this?
Yuong people are prone to sexual hysteria, these days-I suspect it is because of the new bathing costumes, favored by young women(of dubious morals)!:eek:
Might you suggest a good port for an evenings repast? My slack about batman has no inclination to be helpful even after a sound thrashing.
That depends upon the tastes of your guests. Just make sure you take your job seriously. A cook is very important, “for with her rests not only the comfort, but the health of those she serves, and we would warn all cooks not to make light of their responsibilities, but to study diligently the tastes and wishes of all those for whom they have to prepare food.”
When breaking bread, the first thing you need is, well, bread. So let’s address that daily staple first thing:
Wow - I don’t know how I’d even spend that kind of windfall. I’d probably travel Europe. But let’s focus on the food. Hopefully a loaf worth $100 is also worth your parents’ appreciation.
The Cyclopedia offers an enormous number of scrumptious recipes, as well as general information about how to prepare certain types of foods. For example, it lists directions for frying, for roasting, for broiling, for boiling, baking, and soup-related meat preparation. There are separate rules for pickling beef, hams, and tongues. These in particular set the taste-buds swooning:
Just make sure you don’t overdo your meat intake. The Household Guide is very clear on this:
So maybe it’s a better idea to focus on vegetables and the like. And what better vegetable than the humble potato?
Now, I myself know nothing about cooking, not being of the fairer persuasion. But perhaps one of the following would make a decent side dish:
I know, I know, it’s not boiled beef heart and pickled tongue, but your guests should be able to choke it down well enough. And with the money you save by avoiding meats and using the thrifty potato, you can afford to wow them with one of the following desserts:
You have a lot to choose from. The list of pies, cakes, tarts, doughnuts, jellies, puddings, and ice creams is rather long compared to the non-dessert recipes. I don’t think I’ve ever typed this before, but these woodcuts are making me salivate. I was just thinking how this focus on sweets tells us something about how human nature doesn’t change very quickly, when I did a double-take at this:
That’s right - a 110 year old recipe for tutti frutti ice cream. I shouldn’t be surprised, really. I mean, once ice cream has been invented, why not throw a bunch of fruit in it? And what else should you call such a thing than the Italian phrase for “all fruits”? (Thank you Wikipedia.)
Still, if I stumble upon a recipe for Cherry Garcia, I’m burning the book and checking into rehab.
(Continued when time permits.)
One more quick post for today.
Like you, I was hoping that “lemons for felons” was a quaint, olde timey waste of taxpayer money. Perhaps the turn-of-the-century equivalent of a “Bridge to Nowhere”. Happily I imagined the citrus fruits being distributed to prisoners by government officials, neither having any real idea as to the point of it all, but none of them willing to rock the boat or admit ignorance by asking.
No such luck.
(Ok, I also have to admit to a small typo. That should have been “lemon for felon”, singular. My, uh, typewriter jammed.)
I hereby give you the relevant portions of page 105:
COVER YOUR EYES, CHILDREN!
What? Oh. Wait, I guess I overreacted:
Hmm. That’s not quite what I was expecting. After a brief personal story by one of the authors about “stepping on one of those little brass staples used in a piece of cardboard to fasten the prices on goods” (seriously), I turn the page to find more information about felons:
There are certainly felons I would like to cure by having them lanced open to the bone, but I’m pressed for time so here’s what I can find on Wikipedia about “felon”:
If you visit the link you’ll see that this short article is part of a very enormous category of articles about skin diseases. I don’t know if Wikipedia has a similarly vast number of articles about hair and laxatives, but it’s nice to see that modern encyclopedias haven’t completely lost touch with their roots.
Twelve egg whites??? The beef hearts, well, I have to do SOMEthing with them after the slaughter, but twelve egg whites??? The day I can use twelve egg whites for a cake is the day I become a Rockefeller bride. My stars.
Oh man, I would adore to get my hands on this book! (Can you do any scans?)
I started collecting old etiquette books after laying my hands on the 1952 Amy Vanderbilt edition, which has a chapter titled “Gracious Living Without Servants.”
Yeah, I was hoping for some way to deal with escaped Newcastle convicts accosting my children with talk of great expectations, then sending them off to London with false expectations. But as you say, no such luck.
Learn something every day around here. Although their finger-in-the-lemon advice does seem to make some sense, citric acid and all. I wouldn’t be surprised if it actually worked.
Well, “lemon for felon” still results in only one google hit, but on the other hand,
“Lemons for Felons” makes for a much better band name.
That’s pretty standard for angel food cake. I’ve done it lots of times. The egg whites, that is, not the beef heart.
I am quite interested in “Happy, how to manage to be” on page 329. Could you please expound?
Anxiously awaiting your reply,
Surly Chick
I’m disturbed that this item appears to be paired with the “housekeeping” introduction.
I’m also disturbed by turpentine and eggs being discussed in the same section, p. 112.
I’m struggling with a few vexatious conundra at the moment that with which you may perhaps be able to assist:
-In considering my next computer purchase, I must decide whether to focus on hard drive space to accommodate my extensive collection of video files, or instead plan on most media moving to a streaming format, allowing me to invest my nickels elsewhere. Please advise.
-In the lab, I’m considering performing a genome-wide association study to find underlying genetic causes of an observed phenotype. Can you recommend good open-source software for such a task?
-And finally, I found a dead woodchuck in the yard. To what profitable uses can I put it?
I’m betting the answer to “How to bring on the Menses” is hidden in the “Leucorrhoea” article.
I would also like to know how to manage to be happy. . .
Nice when you can go to the store and buy a dozen eggs for $3.79. Problematic when your laying flock only produces one or two dozen a week and you rely on the egg money for spending cash, or you need the eggs to feed your family of farmers, or it’s winter and the hens aren’t laying, or you’re too poor to afford a full flock of layers.
But for wealthy people c.1900, I’m sure it’s great!
I don’t think it’s as dear as you make out. The price of a dozen eggs in the US c.1900 was .23, a little over half (62%) the average "building trades'" hourly wage of .37
In comparison, the national minimum wage right now is $7.25. 62% of $7.25 is about $4.50. While that’s high for eggs, you can certainly find cage free organics for that around here. (And, of course, the eggs being sold in 1900 probably were cage free and organic, although they weren’t marketing angels at the time!)
Plus people spent a much higher percentage of their income on food back in those days. While it probably wasn’t an everyday indulgence, angel food cake appears to be in the reach of the masses for special occasions.
Please consult Page 373 and tell me how to break a string. I have a string. I wish to have two strings.
It seems odd to have a chapter on that subject: then, as now, you’d have a choice of using a pair of scissors or a sharp knife.
Ahh, but that would be cutting not breaking…
Surly, who is still waiting to find out how to manage to be happy.
Women, having power? Ye gods, what indolence!
… and why never to mix them. This is why I’m not allowed to cook anymore.
… I’m perplexed that I’ve been reading the paper wrong all these years! Pray tell, what is the correct method? (It seems to be only one page devoted on the subject, so it shouldn’t be much to divulge.)
Stop spying on him in his room?