Well, I’ve been thinking about gender differences. Also, I asked a friend with five brothers.
To start off with, “Orthodox” covers a large territory. Generally the Orthodox community is classified in two groups: Modern Orthodox and Ultra-Orthodox. (In Israel, I believe, the equivalents are Mizrachi and Chareidi). MO Jews are the ones who are integrated with the modern world. They usually dress like any old American (although with longer sleeves and higher necklines), interact with the outside world, and raise boys and girls more or less equal.
UO Jews usually cloister themselves in all-Jewish communities. They usually have some sort of distinctive dress code. They tend to have very traditional gender roles. Most Hassidim are ultra-Orthodox, but not all ultra-Orthodox Jews are Hassidim.
Not everyone fits neatly into these two catagories, of course. I’m just painting the two extremes. But it’s a useful distinction.
I come from a Modern Orthodox community. As far as I know, girls and boys are pretty much treated the same, here. Maybe male education has more emphasis on Talmud and Torah study. But there’s no one stopping ladies from becoming scholars. I myself go to my rabbi’s summer Talmud class.
Some schools are co-ed. Some schools are single-sex. Some start out co-ed, then segregate the genders at a later grade. I went to a co-ed elementary school, a middle school that was co-ed for secular subjects and seperate for Hebrew subjects, a single-sex high school, and a single-sex college.
What I know about Ultra-Orthodox communities comes mostly from a high school field trip. We went around touring various Jewish communities and institutions, from the MO flagship Yeshiva University to the ultra-ultra-ultra-Orthodox Satmar Hassidim, and a lot of people in between. So what I’m telling you here is what I gathered from a bunch of hour-long lectures by UO women. I could possibly be wrong here.
So, in UO communities, they do things by traditional gender roles: men are scholars and women raise families. How much leeway people get (from all traditional roles) depends on which sect you’re dealing with. The women do go to school, but they don’t learn as extensively as the men. I don’t know how the ladies feel about this, but I remember the Satmar lecturer passionately defending her way of life.
Anyway, that’s what I know about gender distinctions. I’ve got to go think some more before I fully answer Ro0sh’s question. In the mean time, keep asking!