If I wasn’t too cool for sig lines, I would be requesting this.
She is. For awhile she was much more reserved with telling me about dates/boyfriends. Eventually, though, things got back to normal. I decided to bite my tongue when it came to her love life.
Of course, then she insisted on letting the drug dealer move in with her and steal from her. She really tried my resolve to keep quiet that time…
I don’t think this one has been asked: do you know who he’s cheating with now that it is no longer you? I guess that’s a little presumptive of me, but I imagine he very likely moved on to the next woman until she gets too caught up with him to take it any longer.
You know, that’s an interesting question. He claimed that he had never had an affair before me; I had no reason to doubt that, but I also had no reason to believe it, either. After all, if he could hide me from his wife, he certainly could have hidden other women from her as well. I had no idea if he was seeing anyone else besides me, for the same reason; if he could hide me from her, when she lived in the same house as he did, he would have no problem hiding other women from me.
I have no idea whether he has “moved on” to someone else; I don’t have contact with him anymore and we don’t have the same social circle.
Funny, but, in this type of situation, I could never believe anything he told me, good or bad, simply because I knew he was capable of lying to someone he supposedly cared about (I was the proof of that) , so he would have no trouble lying to me.
What I expected was a discussion about the practical details of having an affair - “How do you manage to explain being unavailable?” “Have you ever been seen together?” That sort of thing. That was what I said in my OP. I didn’t expect it to morph into an ethical discussion.
For instance, I know I have always been curious about women who dance at strip clubs - if I could, I would not ask them, “Don’t you feel like you are exploiting yourself?” I would want to know things like, “What do you do if the guy paying for the lap dance is really dirty? Can you say no?” More about the inner workings, not why she decided to dance.
You are making the assumption that it is all about sex. Some affairs are just emotional, some are just sexual, and some, like mine, are a combination. Some of the posters above said that they thought that a one-night stand would be easier to cope with than an emotional affair.
It’s not all about sex.
I would have thought that most people would be able to work that sort of thing out for themselves… But given how deeply felt this type of thing is, I doubt such a “shallow” discussion is possible.
Now, THAT is an interesting dilemma! 
I’ll help you out here. Back in my wild youth I danced at a strip club as a lark on some weekends. That is I held my real, professional job in the hospital during the week, and occasionally spent weekends dancing to make a bit of extra money and because it was fun at the time.
The answers are (for me who wasn’t really a dancer/stripper at heart and all the girls I knew while I did it): no, the women feel more like they are exploiting the men; you don’t dance for them if you don’t want to- it is not a business where the customers have any rights to “the service” or that you are obligated to do anything at all; and yes, you can say no to anything. Most clubs (of which I was familiar) the girls are not employed by the business but pay a fee to dance there (stage rent) and “tip-out” a percentage to the DJ’s, Bartenders etc. (10% at the club where I danced) and taxes etc. are handled as an independent contractor, no one could force the girls to do anything they didn’t want to (hell, even taking off clothes was not strictly necessary). And to ward off any other questions of this nature: my spouse at the time came with me and I was too much of a wussy-girl to stay by myself, so he would stay and drink beer and BS with the bartenders while I danced.
And now back to your regularly scheduled thread about The Other Woman. 
I’d imagine there are as many answers to that as there are affairs. For some people, it’s really hard to get away. For others, it’s a breeze. My ex was usually like cling wrap, so any time he wasn’t around I didn’t question, I just enjoyed it. Dumb of me, should have been a clue, but honestly a little free time was such a relief that it never occurred to me to *care *what else he was doing.
(And see what I mean about the cheating is not the REAL problem. )
Are you new?
lol…Why, yes. Yes, I am.
It’s pretty easy, really—ATTENTION, plain and simple.
The OP is obviously someone who is never going to successful in anything she does in this life (witness her own marriage, by her own description) and because she found a man who was willing to put his marriage vows aside to occasionaly fuck her when he feels like it (because it’s SUCH a challange to find a man who will gladly cum in even the most disgusting, repellant, wart-covered willing recepticle) she then headed over to the ol’ SDMB to crow, and reassure herself that someone choose HER (Oh Joy!!!) over somebody else.
Whoa, man. Whoa.
Um, well… <clears throat> Nothing like keeping an open mind!
Well, that should separate the sheep from the lambs. Hell, I completely disapprove of what the OP did, but this is a bit much… :eek:
And speaking of attention whoring…
I keep seeing references to “sexual predator” in this thread in regards towards the other woman/man. It irks me greatly. It says to me “the cheating spouse can’t be at fault because he was incapable of making a decision or forced into it”
Clearly, everyone who had a bad marriage is doomed to life-long failure. :rolleyes:
Getting back to the issue at hand, DivineComedienne, did your kids know about the affair? Do they now?
A couple people have mentioned that their reactions to friends’ affairs have hurt their friendships; if a good friend of yours confided that they were getting involved with someone who was already married, what would you tell them?
Don’t mind the dead head.
MPB in Salt Lake this is a personal insult. You want to take this woman to task, do it in the Pit. This is not allowed in MPSIMS.
Ellen Cherry
MPSIMS Moderator
[edited]Ellen Cherry beat me to it. [/edited]
Warning understood—I feel it was well worth voicing my opinion on the OP’s behavior. (and especially her apparent urge to gloat about it).
I will certainly have no more to say on the subject—Matthew
ETA—You can always tell a Deadhead, but you can never tell them much…