So, the way it works is that we walk into the club where you dance. We hand over money. We are to sit still. Not speak to you about anything sexual, because that is " crass, tacky and rude". We may have nice conversation with you although you are there to dance not sit around yapping and in fact if we try to have nice conversation with you we’re really just wasting your valuable time that could be much better spent dancing in close proximity with another man who may not move, allow himself to become sexually aroused, stare or speak to you about anything sexual because that is “crass, tacky and rude”.
We should, for the privelege of having watched you with no apparent response while you dance and move in what we would have thought were supposed to be sexually appealing and arousing body motions, be handing over money to you.
We are not to become sexually aroused, because even though it is a strip club, that is disgusting and gross and not what you will tolerate in a customer. Touching is obviously out, as is pleasant conversation ( the time-waster, as stated by both working contributors to this thread), as is sexual conversation.
It is, in fact, a spectacularly brilliant way to make a ton of money and I applaud both of you.
Wow, where did you get any of that from what I said? I don’t care if you talk about anything sexual (where did I ever say that??), I just don’t want you ordering me around while I dance. And I specifically said that I tried to accommodate what the customer wanted while I was dancing, through both body language signals and yes, even through verbal cues, but I’d much rather hear “oh I like that” than “TURN AROUND AND SHOW ME YOUR ASS!!!” I have also never said I didn’t talk to customers without getting paid. In fact, I was often a low earner at my club because I was too fucking nice and talked to the guys for too long when I should have been making money. Yeah it was a lot better when guys paid you to talk to them, the guys who realized that this is your JOB and the only way you have to pay your bills. But that didn’t mean I refused to talk to guys unless they handed over cash. And I never said you weren’t allowed to get aroused, I just don’t want to actually see your penis, ok? And yeah, I’m a dancer, not a hooker, so don’t grab me.
Where did I say anything even resembling that? If your beef is with Opal, then don’t end your post with “both of you” unless you can back it up.
And just so you know, Opal is a retired dancer and hasn’t been active in the business since sometime in the '90s. Her opinions are just that, she speaks for herself and I speak for myself.
Where did I get it from? Gosh. How many times did I quote your words up there? That’s where.
However, thank you for the clarification as to your point of view on the whole thing. As I said, I sure do respect the ( as others have called it as well ) mercenary approach to the entire career. It’s brilliant.
Look, it’s not as though I attend clubs like this and have a lot of experience. The tone of your posts as well as those of Indygrrl are distinctly angry, and I am frankly surprised your hackles rose up so quickly when a bit of terse phrasing was sent right back your way. It does exactly mirror the behavior you describe and demand while in a club, which amuses me to no end.
I never said that you should be mistreated or anything of that regard. All I did was repeat back your words- which incredibly has now made you angry. Fascinating.
So, as long as a customer shows no signs of sexual interest and is extremely polite and indirect in what they may or may not wish you would do and expresses themself without using any sexual language or body part words, you’re fine with them?
I suppose if the world were populated with very wealthy choreographers it would make life easer. The perfect male in a club would be one who was completely immobile and whose statements would consist of, " Yes, just a bit more extension, watch the pliet, that’s very fine. Might we not arch our backs quite so much next time? And, back to one ! "
Yes, I was addressing the tone and information both of you were imparting. The attitudes are identical. You can be huffy and insist it isn’t what you have said, or you can cop to what others have said- and what you have already copped to- and admit it’s mercenary and nothing more, and the accuracy of my statements might just be hitting a bit too close to home, eh kitten?
If you have a problem with anything said in this thread, take it to the Pit. That’s the place to fling insults and misquote people. You can go resolve it there.
I said none of the things you are suggesting, and if you think I have you are more than welcome to quote me in your Pit thread. Otherwise, STFU.
No, you’re extrapolating a whole lot of BS based on things I’ve said. You didn’t repeat my words back at me. You didn’t even come up with any kind of reasonable interpretation of them–you took what I said and inferred a whole lot of things I never said, and then claimed that I held that position.
I don’t mind if guys show signs of sexual interest. I prefer that guys are polite, yes; I am human after all. I don’t care how direct a guy is about what he wants me to do, and I never said anything about use of sexual language or body part words–where are you getting that from? That doesn’t bother me at all. I just said I don’t like being ordered around while I’m dancing. If you’ve got special requests, tell me up front, before I start dancing, or let me know in a less caveman way while I’m dancing. Barking orders is rude in any setting.
And what is so “fascinating” about someone getting annoyed when somebody puts words in their mouth, and then proceeds to attack the straw man they’ve just built? I can’t tell if you’re really this muddled and confused or if you’re intentionally being obtuse so that you can argue about something.
Maybe so, but perhaps you’ve forgotten that you volunteered all that info in this thread. Saying those things are none of my business doesn’t mean I won’t form an opinion about them, which is something I (and everyone else) are entitled to do.
It’s very different. My original comment was about the mercenary attitudes of some strippers; essentially, I was talking about money, not the acceptability of the profession. I’ve seen strippers make really incredible amounts of money, and wind up none the better for it, because it disappeared as soon as they had it. I really don’t look down on strippers at all, I look down on people foolish enough to waste a chance to put themselves on solid financial footing, whose money just disappears and they can’t even say where it went. HOW a person makes their money really doesn’t concern me, but from the amount of contact I’ve had with strippers, not many of them seem to make wise choices about all that cash. Even if you spent some on clothes and drugs, you aren’t the type of person I’m talking about.
You seem to have taken my statement as more than it said. Wherever that chip on your shoulder came from, there’s no need to take it out on me.
The chip on my shoulder is from talking to a lot of people who think they know all about this topic, and in reality they don’t know jack. I guess I am a little sensitive because I know a lot of women doing normal things with the money they make as dancers. That stripper stereotype doesn’t seem to go away, no matter how many exceptions to the rule you give people.
I didn’t mean that as an attack on you personally, and as I said, I’m sorry about that. It was just a reaction from having people nose in about my finances and my future plans for years. People ask questions of me that they would never ask a woman if they weren’t in a strip club. Occasionally I get tired of the misconceptions.
I’ve enjoyed answering the questions in this thread, because I think most of them were asked with good intentions and I knew this was one area in which I could fight ignorance.
Why do you think that stereotype is so persistent? (That’s a serious question, not sarcasm.) There is some truth in it, as there is in all stereotypes, but I believe you when you say it’s overblown. I may have known some strippers who were foolish, but I’ve known as many who were normal people. Do people want to look down on strippers, so they keep these ideas alive?
I think it’s this phenomenon: you meet a stripper who fits the stereotype and she reinforces your perception. You meet one who doesn’t fit, and she is “the exception”. You may not notice that your “exceptions” might be 50%.
As for dancers liking/hating each other it’s variable. There are friendships and rivalries in every club. There is always the girl that can’t get along with anyone and the girl everyone loves. Me, I never really socialized with the other dancers. I’m still friends to this day with one of my DJs though.
I am friendly towards everyone, or at least I try to be. And I’ve never been in a catfight or anything like that. But I never get closer than arm’s length as far as getting to know the girls and such. I have a few “work friends” that I socialize with a bit, but other than that I am usually too busy to worry with what the other dancers are doing.
I remember one time two girls in my club got fired. I heard the commotion but had been in the dressing room so I missed the juicy parts. It involved two dancers in a fight, and a table got knocked over.
During a lap dance, how common is it for the stripper to kiss the guy or put her nipple to the guy’s mouth?
How about offering the guy sex in the champagne room?
I unfortunately ask because all three of these things happened to my guy recently during his bachelor party. Of course he turned down the offer for sex and he felt bad afterward about the other things, but I just can’t seem to let go of it.
I have never kissed a guy during a lap dance, and the one guy who latched his mouth. (That was at a nasty club in Houston where I worked for a week. I’ve heard Houston cleaned up several years later, but when I was there it was extremely sleazy.)
My club didn’t have a champagne room or any other kind of VIP area, so that sort of thing never happened at my club, though I did know a couple of girls who were rumored to meet customers for sex later, away from the club.
I have seen dancers at sleazy clubs do all kinds of gross things, though. Bleah.
My WAG is that your guy’s buddies made arrangements ahead of time. They picked the place, the girl, and paid a lot of extra money to set him up.
What you described doesn’t just happen “because”. Somebody arranged it and paid the freight.
